Are you ever yourself on a first date?

What i mean when i say are you yourself is are you the real you? are you comfortable enough to completely relax and be the real you even if you feel like the person might not like it and could be potentially put off this early on?
Or do you think i've got to be myself and if they don't like me someone else will.
Are you ever yourself on a first date?


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What Guys Said 21

  • Yeah, of course.
    When I can't get her to like me the way I am, then a potential relationship wouldn't have a future anyway.

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  • I'm about myself as I can be when I know that this is effectively an assessment of future dating potential.
    So I prefer to remove stresses that would cause me to behave out of character. For instance, I would rather go out for coffee on the first date instead of a restaurant. The more expensive the date the more I feel the need to impress by spending which I really hate because I'm actually rather frugal.
    If she appreciates a coffee date and isn't concerned about how much I'm spending then this generally leads to extending the date. If she's upset about it then she wasn't for me anyway.

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  • Well, I can't be as open with a new person as I am with my best friend I've known for 11 years. Him I can see any little nasty thing on my mind too.

    But on a first date? LOL f*** no I'm giving her the PG version of myself until trust is established. If she proves to be very open herself then I'll be open as well.

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  • I try to be myself the best I can be. But I'm a little less talkative only because I want her to do most of the talking anyway. I'm also a little more attentive just to see how she reacts, if she likes it or not like pulling out her chair at a restaurant. She'll say thank you and the next time we're out to dinner she can either say that's OK or allow me to continue which I prefer.

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  • Well i am myself when on the first dates... i am honest and it reflects everywhere so rarely woud i lie about something... and also i like people who are honest... so. if i am the guy on the date i would be honest and would want the girl to be as well...
    Someone else surely will😊

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  • The best dates are the ones where you are yourself. If you're to self conscious then chances are the date will be a failure

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  • I used to make sure that any first "dates" involved the consumption of alcoholic drinks, for the purpose of feeling relaxed and comfotable.
    But not to the point of getting drunk

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  • Not 100%. Don't want the girl to run out screaming. Most of the time it's 98% and keep the other 2% for a later date

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  • Comfortable enough to be me, totally. However, I always find myself asking questions because I'm curious about the other person rather than focusing on just having a good time. Dating should be fun and about having a good time, don't get caught up in making it an interview. I'm always on the fence teetering between those 2 dynamics. Just smile, have fun, and be yourself.

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  • Yes, not like I can be Batman. Well I can on Halloween

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  • I want her to know what she's getting off the bat and either she likes me or she doesn't.

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  • I am, yeah! I don’t believe in wearing the mask with dates that I do with my friends.

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  • I don't know, since I never went on an actual date. I think I just be myself I guess.

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  • Yes, you get what you see.

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  • I am on my best behavior when I'm on a date.

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  • Still not though i m 27

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  • Yes completely comfortable

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  • Yes. Offcourse. She has to know what she is dealing with

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  • I'm always myself. I want to be loved for who I am. If most people don't love the real me, well, that's that.

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  • If a person doesn't like me that's not my problem now, is it?

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  • Unfotunatly i am myself all time

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What Girls Said 14

  • Yes i'm usually myself... not 100% but as much as i can.

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  • A less cynical and sarcastic version of myself.
    I'm usually pretty nervous on first dates (but nervousness is a part of who I am), so I won't be cracking my best jokes or enthralling you with the best conversation ever, but I'll be honest about my interests, background, perspective, opinion, etc.
    I won't feign interest or agreement in something that I don't find interesting or agreeable.
    I'll dress as nice as is appropriate for the occasion, but I won't pile on the make-up or spend hours doing my hair--I try to look as natural as I can on the first date so as not to disappoint down the road.

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  • It's very difficult to be 100% yourself (and not recommended) because you don't know that person well enough to do that. You don't - that implies a certain level of trust. All you know is what they are willing to show you. All you can do is have a good time and be honest/truthful otherwise it could come back on you later

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  • Sometimes I like put on a wig and dress up in extravagant period piece costumes and speak in different accents.

    Kidding. But no. I try to be myself as much a possible but I can't be 100% myself. If I were to do that then it would probably involve me making a fort under the restaurant table.

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  • I am always myselr

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  • nah I channel one of my many other personalities/alter egos.

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  • I’m confused, are the choices to be yourself or be the real you? Are they not the same thing?

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    • Sorry if i worded it badly basically mean are you yourself on a date? or do you pretend to be someone you're not in a way to make the person like you

    • I try to be the best version of myself. So it’s me, and my personality, style clothes, sense of humor, make up etc
      On some days in our regular (non date) days, it’s tough to be the best version of yourself. We get lazy, more comfortable around family close friends etc. don’t be that version on a first date.

  • Of course. I’m always myself on a first date. Like me for who I am or find someone else.

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  • Yes...

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  • No, I'm always a little different on the first date - more hesitant, less flirty, very nervous. I've never been completely myself nor comfortable because if I open up too early I'd feel too insecure.

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  • I’m my evil twin 😈

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  • No-one I am trying to be likable then recall my true self after at least the 4th date

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  • I would say that I'm myself to a certain extent. First dates are never easy because you're both trying to impress each other. I'm not really super talkative in real life so I always make sure that I put in more effort to appear friendlier and more open on a 1st date. Some people mistake my quiet nature for disinterest so I become the "outgoing" version of myself :) If that makes sense lol :)

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  • I'm always myself, I'm too old to be bothered about who likes me or who doesn't now, but I will try and put my best foot forward on the first few dates, just like I expect him to do so also.

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