Online dating disappearing act

why does this happen over and over and over and over and over and over again?

The girl starts talking to me then disappears. then 4 days 8 days hell even sometimes a month. I get this. "Hey I'm so sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner I've been so busy with work and this and that and this and that how have you been? write me back soon. Then I do and wait another two weeks. BS! alert BS alert! BS alert! I have the has it been read tracker and they read it right away. Then I get the oh I've been so busy crud a week to two weeks later. Do girls realize that guys know they do this on purpose and don't want to seem too interested. Its so lame. I want a girl who talks! and who wants to know about me and isn't afraid to seem a little needy and goofy and lets her true self show. Seriously, disappearing and seeming aloof isn't that attractive. Why are you on a dating sight if your going to be this way?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you probably wait too long to ask for the phone number or meet up. I date online too, and I may be interested in a guy, but I get pretty board if we're just messaging back and forth and back and forth... You really can't tell about a person unless you meet face to face. And people don't tend to feel obligated to answer back to a person who is a stranger they have never met.

    You should ask for a phone number or to meet up within the same week of contacting her.

    I am the type of girl that is not desperate and has an interesting life (and that is probably what you are looking for, too) and if he doesn't ask to meet me within a week or two, I get bored with him and stop answering.

    • I couldn't agree more, but at the same time. Guys don't want the .. "wooooooo" slow down buddy and ask me some questions be a little creative and mysterious" and take your time. reaction.. Some girls see the online dating as finding the "one" not just a date ya know? These emails are usauly good question asking emails, but women just want to play hard to get over and over and over again. Its in everything they read.. Oh nooo don't be to available to anew potential date. be the mystery girl

    • Yeah some girls may play those games. But girls who are really serious about DATING and looking for the right one will want to go on DATES. Some girls just want to attention and never intend to meet up with you. You shouldn't have to convince and beg someone to meet up with you. If she doesn't want to after two weeks talking online, I would move on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I do the online dating thing too. I know if I start messaging a couple guys, one kind of always sticks out as the front runner at least until I meet him and decide if he's one I can see myself dating. So, sometimes I don't respond to other guys for a week or two if I'm into someone else. For me its not really a game, but just part of dating. I prefer to focus more on a select few.

    I'm sure there are some girls out there playing games. Are you meeting girls that are in their 30's or in their younger 20s? I agree with both posts about meeting up. I don't want a guy to message me forever and never want a date but I also delete and ignore guys that want to go out in the first message. Just realize these girls may not be what you want and keep looking.


What Guys Said 2

  • I don't have an answer to this but I would love to know why girls do this. I'm signed up on plentyoffish and I finally saw a girl from my town on there (small town), she is super pretty. Been talking for a few days now on MSN, and yesterday I sent her a message on PoF to ask if shed like to hangout this week and to let me know what day she could. A few hours later I see that the message has been READ. She gets on MSN later and I start talking to her and ask if she got my message. "Message?" she says, I'm like "yeah on PoF I sent you a message", "oh I haven't been online in a while"

    Thanks for lying to me.

    WTF girls?! Why do you do this to us? Do you really think we are stupid? I'm sick of being played.

  • Yeah it's tough because you wait too long and they find someone else and disappear without a reason. If you ask them out too soon, they get creeped out and think you're desperate for a date or relationship.

    I use dating sites all the time but I've just gotten to the point where I stopped caring and don't have any expectations as they only lead to disappointments for the most part. Not to sound discouraging, just saying it's best to play it by ear because like the MHO said, you can't truly tell a person until you meet them in person. Some people who are very quiet in texting or on the phone could be very talkative in person and vice versa.