What's the real purpose of dating?

it just seems like all the immature people are out in relationships and dating each other... or banging each other. lol but I would say that I'm a pretty emotionally mature guy, only looking for something genuine and real. I know there's a lot of other guys (maybe even gals) out there like me that prob have had little to no luck in the dating scene (the latter for me unfortunately). I'm told to be handsome and I don't make bad choices for the sake of fitting a mold. I think I'm an awfully datable guy, but it's always the "tool-shed" guy getting all the attention. I know a few guys that are dumb as a box of rocks and have girls bombarding them with attention, from skanks to even more quality girls.

I don't understand at all... I know what I like in a girl, and I go for it one way or another when I find it, but I've had no luck with dating. I'm trying to like discover some weird revelation or something as to why it seems mature people, with brains and self-worth are seeming left in the dust. I WANT to save my virginity for someone, I'd expect someone to at LEAST start as merely friends with me to see if that sexual tension can grow in time, 'cause it's not like I'm expecting sex from the get-go either.

So why am I seemingly like not destined to date?

And I always get that feeling of feeling scared and vulnerable around someone special, but we all know how to succeed in "lust"... Be the cocky jerk, A.K.A "confident". I'm just looking for someone to love and never be the person to let them down.


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What Girls Said 2

  • That's funny, I feel the same way. I've been waiting too for my first time, because I haven't found a guy that I really clicked with. I've never had a boyfriend, but dated alot. It's kinda frustrating, because guys often think that I would or that they could talk me into it.

    The truth is you actually sound like you want something real and solid. Most people our age are not ready for that. So they eithier hold off or go crazy and do whatever they want. it is very frustrating though, because you see these people acting like jurks or really mean and they seem to get whatever they want, but I don't think they're really happy. Just hang in there and keep on waiting. I know that's not what you wanna hear, (cause I keep hearing that too) but I think you'll find the wait worth it in the end.

    • I really hope so... honestly it feels like everything good is bad, and everything bad is good... like for example, drugs are bad, yet everyone is out doing them, thinking its cool... and girls get in on it or associated with these guys because they're "cool" and "alpha" and its like pssh! whatever...

      i don't do drugs or drink since I'm underage, and its like I only really have literally a handful of REAL friends. any of the pretty girls I know or knew don't seem to care to talk to me anymore...

    • ...the world is just messed up. I would think I'd be one of the more attractive guys out there since I don't smoke or do drugs or whatever, but I guess that's not the case. :/

  • you seem like a really nice guy.

    I never dated because I though marriage was going to be arguing with the guy all the time... etc

    my parents were like that and I also saw a lot of divorce growing up (my aunts, my uncles)

    anyways, I started dating when I was 22 (yeah pretty old age to start dating). It wasn't so hard for me, I went through roughly around 20 guys in 2 years before I found the one.

    You say, are you destined to NOT date? Well, finding someone isn't that hard if you have friends. Most of the guys I dated were through friends, and I did some what of a background check on them through the mutual friend. I think this is THE best way to date. For example a co-worker introduced me to her friend, a church friend introduced me to her bff's brother, a neighbor introduced me to a childhood friend etc. The list goes on. Then just talk about what you have in common (hobbies, music, movies, activities, friends in common etc, work)

    The purpose of dating is to find what you like and don't like in someone, and in the process you learn more about yourself. For example my first guy argued against my religion and political views. The second guy flirted and had too many numerous sexual pasts that I felt were immoral, the third guy was way into golf and surfing... and also drinking and I wasn't. and so on and so forth till the like 100th guy I've ever really met... and went out with.

    I wish I met a guy like you, but my boyfriend is going to have to do. He did weed, and I'm trying to talk him out of it, he had sex a lot outside of marriage (and I finally made him understand why I didn't think it was right), he was a total BAD BOY, but I am beginning to change him. I wish I met a nice guy who waited for marriage for sex, who didn't do weed, or smoke (my boyfriend had to give up smoking for me)... so I think YOU have great qualities that a girl should find admirable and really adore you for who you are. You just have to date a LOT and the dating game is ... relentless to me. EVeryone seemed to have wanted to ask me out, because I was single and nice...and kind of good looking I guess. They all have flaws, it's true that you will have to learn about compromise, and bending your qualifications for a girlfriend once you start dating and realize no one is perfect... well good luck! I"m running out of space to write you =)


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