How do you know when?

I was on this dating website and the owner of the website who is also a "dating coach" said men only talk to women for one of 3 reasons:

- to make nice pleasentries (ie. was introduced to you by a family member or through a friend)

- networking/business relationship

- out of interest (whether sexual or romantic + sexual)

So how do you know when its one over the other? And why "Because he likes you as a friend" isn't one of the choices?


Most Helpful Guy

  • When a man is willing to invest in you, whether by listening, attentively and affirming you, validating your feelings and not offering solutions to your problems, unless asked, he is not just making pleasantries, or networking. However, there is another form of relationship this coach seems to have left out. That is a genuine friendship, without a networking/business agenda, or romantic/sexual desires. A friend will invest in you, without expecting anything in return. They will receive any benefits from the friendship with gratitude, as a blessing. Even the spouse will fit this category, with the benefit of sex, which exceeds anything you can experience without the commitment and challenge of marriage. That is because the commitment and challenge of marriage results in a lifelong exploration of ways to please the other person physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

    • Good answer but what about a relationship between male and female that formed at first through networking/professional reasons but then add in humor, playfulness, compassion, concern, innuendos...what kind of relationship is that.

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    • I wouldn't be too surprised if that was more about the ethics.harassment thing. It is amazing what a little fear can do to a relationship, or friendship.

    • Lol well if its about ethics and harassment then he shouldn't be saying stuff like wanting to spank me :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Wonder no more ;-) Friendship is always ok, being somewhat flirty is ok too. Sex usually changes the nature of relationships. Probably they don't want to complicate things for themselves. However personally I would date any woman I REALLY liked a lot. Sometimes sex is not such a serious motive.

    • Well because people are always saying that men don't have female friends unless they could be a potential partner sexually or I wonder how did guys I met through professional reasons, befriended me....flirt...innuendos sometimes...wanna know sooooo much about me do things for me, and yet never really ask me out directly...may have hinted...i don't know, I'm not a mind just makes me wonder what they want.

  • If a I network with women and not pursue sex or romance it's:

    a. I don't find the woman attractive

    b. I'm seriously in LOVE with somebody else (very rare one)

    c. I value her social role (business partner, doctor, hairstylist, etc.)

    d. She is my friend's girlfriend (I'm down with OPP but I care about my friends)

    That's probably it.

    • I know men who I meet through professional reasons...but then it turns into a friendship and then like there's flirting involved and playfulness and they want me to go do stuff with them or with our circle of friends (like see shows, parties, etc.) and yet...nothing happens between I'm just curious as to why.

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