Is it reasonable to break up with someone due to a lack of financial stability?

I always hear about how “shallow” it is to break up with someone for being poor, however money is extremely important in a relationship. Dates and bills don’t pay themselves and I’m just unhappy that this person is never going to be able to provide me with the comfortable lifestyle I want. He can’t even afford to buy himself a used car that works. I’m really unhappy because of this.


0|0
425

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • I think that it's totally understandable to break up with someone if you feel that they are not responsible enough and are not investing enough in your shared future. Where you go wrong is by suggesting that he will not be able to provide YOU with a comfortable lifestyle rather than saying that he will not be able to match your own contribution. If you are looking for someone to take care of you then it's you who needs to address your own responsibilities for yourself.

    0|2
    0|0
    • Every relationship is different and in the culture I grew up in, the guy is the provider. That being said, I have a career of my own and I don’t plan on sitting on my ass while my partner goes to work. If I’m expected to perform domestic household duties such as cooking and cleaning, he shouldn’t complain about paying the bills.

    • Show All
    • I don’t see it as being a parasite, but more like exercising gender roles since the guy is getting something in return even if it’s not money. We can reciprocate and show generosity in ways that don’t involve money. Then again, it’s all a matter of perspective and I respect your viewpoints.

    • Thank you. I don't mean any offence, I also respect your right to live how you want to live. Some people do have traditional values.

  • It's not shallow, it is smart. If he can't support himself, he can't support a family. Don't be a goldigger, but make sure your guy has some direction in his life.

    3|1
    0|0
  • I think it's smart. Realistically, financial issues are incredibly straining on a relationship and not enough people give it serious consideration when they're about to get kicked out of the apartment that you both shared. I think a lot of male commentators on here are treating you unfairly. It doesn't appear that you expect much, certainly not a rich sugar daddy that will take care of all your bills. You have standards and that's good on you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • While I do believe that the husband should take the financial responsibilities in a relationship, I would never date a guy or marry without love. I think there’s a difference between gold digging and having a preference for someone who is wealthy. Golddiggers have no problem dating without love. I couldn’t do that.

    • Show All
    • Everyone has a different perspective on this issue. Traditional people like me believe that the male should take care of the financial responsibilities while the female should handle the domestic duties such as cooking and cleaning. That being said, I have a career of my own and I don't plan to be a stay at home wife. I just think we should all play our roles.

    • That's fair, but understand that there would be a lot of resistance to that stance in today's world.

  • I would personally marry a completely broke girl as long as she wasn’t bad with spending.

    It’s reasonable to consider someone’s financial situation if you're at a point in life where you want to get married and have kids. Otherwise it seems pretty shallow to me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'd say its unreasonable. If money was all it took, then a prostitute is no different. She goes away when there's no more money.

    0|2
    0|0
    • Who’s going to pay for the house, gas, food, bills, etc?

    • Show All
    • We’re not married. Just in a relationship. He’s living off of the government.

    • Is he trying to get a job or just being a couch potato?

  • Hella shallow. Materialistic value is not healthy in a relationship. It's self serving

    0|2
    1|0
  • You should never have gone out with him in the first place.

    Most people think of dating as a path to marriage. But marriage is legally nothing more nor less than a business partnership. BUSINESS.

    For most people, the most important financial decision one will ever make is whom to marry.

    Love is fleeting. Sex is convenient. Standard of living is real.

    0|0
    0|0
  • "Money is extremely important in a relationship"? Money is extremely important period. Lol.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Was he like this when you guys met? If not than it might be OK to break up. If you really like him, you should help him get his life on track! If you aren't into him, then you might be just into a financially stable lifestyle, which is wrong.

  • well to be honeest i do think that breaking up due to financial instability is way more reasonable than breaking up because his abs are not there anymore a i would be way more understandable if case A ocurred with me than if it was case B, all in all not everyone can comply with a simple and minimalistic lyfesryle like me and i can understand that and it is someone´s right to go after what they want to have.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You shouldn't stay together with someone who you aren't happy with and don't think you'll be happy with. However, why does he have to provide for you? Aren't you also capable of making money?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ya.. i am also like that

    1|0
    0|0
  • Makes a lot more sense than breaking up with someone for emotional reasons.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Then help out it's as simple as that don't be a mooch

    0|0
    0|0
    • Help out someone who lives off of the government? I don’t think so. Life isn’t a fairy tale.

    • There is plenty of ways to get out of that situation nowadays you just need to look if you aren't willing to help get what you want then you have no right to complain

  • Just be yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If your concern is money then go find somone with money. Goldigging isn't a crime but its frowned upon

    0|0
    0|0
  • I agred Financial stability is important for a healthy relationship however the very notion that men is the sole provider is flawed according to me. If the guy is a hardworking he will be financially stable soon maybe give him some time.

    0|0
    0|0
    • He doesn’t have a job and honestly I don’t want to wait around anymore.

    • If the relationship doesn't make u happy u should moveon that would be better for the both of you

  • Yes!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Provide for your own lifestyle. Or marry a billionaire. Your choice.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah. If they can barely hold themselves up then jump ship and hope you can hold yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No. Stop being broke.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Literally that’s what most women want. Money. From my experience women are incapable of falling in love and marry for financial reasons.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Every time this economy hits the skids, LOADS, even record numbers of couples break up seeking more stable economic relationships
    so most find it reasonable.
    That said, you give NO background as to WHY he might be broke.. . we've all been there, usually b/c of college or training taking up income producing time. Then that's not reasonable since he's investing in a career that will solve all these broke problems.
    If he's a bum your are supporting, then
    WHY or HOW did this come to pass
    and are you just now waking up to smell this coffee... what woke you up? Of course we don't support bums (other than congress) willingly... what's keeping you from walking out, instead of posting this Q?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why does he need to provide you a comfortable lifestyle? You sound like you can't even provide for yourself either. Worry about your own financial situation before expecting it out of other people.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Love is when you love the person for who they are not what they have. Maybe try and help him improve himself so you both can live comfortably? Or better yet if you really love him and he's truly not capable of providing why don't you provide for both of you?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Relationships aren’t fairy tales where one person’s salary is enough to provide for the both of us. It’s certainly not fair to me as a female either.

  • Your a shallow gold diggin whore

    0|2
    1|0

What Girls Said 4

  • It's not shallow, if he can't support himself that could cause huge strain on the relationship. If you can help him then that's great, but you shouldn't drag yourself down and be unhappy!

    1|0
    0|0
  • no it is not

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think even if he has financial problems you wouldn't think of leaving him if you really truly loved him.. you'd be trying to find ways to solve it and work it out together

    0|0
    0|0
  • Financial stability is a very important part of a relationship as far as I am concerned. If a guy can't take care of his own finances, or is unable to plan for the future, what does that say about how stable his relationship is with you?
    I think it is a reasonable deal breaker. There is nothing shallow about it.

    1|0
    0|1
    • Do you believe in traditional gender roles? Is there anything inherently wrong with wanting a guy who can provide me with a comfortable lifestyle?

    • Show All
    • Is there anything wrong with expecting the man you’re dating to take care of the finances?

    • If that is what you desire in a relationship, of course not, there is nothing wrong with that. Your guy can say no, of course, but you have every right to look for someone who would say yes...
      I don't think that is an unreasonable request.
      And there are gentlemen out there who would graciously want to take care of finances.

      Believe me, you are on the right track, sister. You know what you want. Don't be afraid of seeking your desire.

Loading... ;