What do guys think when girls make the first move?

Also is it intimidating to talk to a girl older than you? I really like this guy but he's also younger than me.. (I'm a sophmore he's a freshman) but he also looks and acts older than what he is. I'm just wondering because I really like him but I feel like he might be intimidated by my age, should I make the first move?


Most Helpful Guy

  • For a very shy guy like me, relieved. I always have this feeling that if I put the moves on a girl she's going to think I'm a creep for some reason. If a woman makes the first move that's usually enough to push away my insecurities and I will be much more aggressive from there. So ladies, if you like your guy and he's not making any moves on you. Guess what, guys are shy too. Some are really shy. Sometimes all it takes for you is to break the ice and make the first move and then he'll feel comfortable that you don't think he's a creep and he'll probably have no trouble making moves in the future. But give that guy a chance, because just because he's not trying to jump your bones doesn't mean he's gay and it doesn't mean he doesn't think you're attractive. And don't discount a shy guy. A lot of guys are pretty tough freaking guys but our little bit shy around women. I'm talking about manly men that other men look up to secretly may have some insecurities with girls. So make sure you give that shy guy a chance and think about making the first move yourself.

    • Can't stress this enough

    • It's so true especially for us guys that were meant to have a great respect for women. I feel like I'm very strong, successful, and confident man and almost every area of my life. But I think I have a little bit of problem reading social cues either that or my shyness or nervousness is interfering with it. I also seem to be at a disadvantage because I don't try to hook up with a girl the first day I meet her. I'm sort of weird and that I actually enjoy going out on dates and learning about people. It's strange but these old fashioned traits that women say they want seem to put me at a disadvantage. What to do? Women, anything to add here? You're waiting for that hot guy to put the moves on you but what you don't realize is he's a bit shy... Are you going to move on to the next guy thinking that either he doesn't like you or he's gay or something? It's 2017 so if a girl puts the moves on a guy that's no big thing...

    • I get extreme anxiety when i try to talk to a woman for the first time, I've found certain work rounds though like if she's a friend of one of my friends then ill wait until they talk and then come talk to my friend and introduce myself to the woman. But I've noticed that most girls I've gotten to know AND love have made the first move and or were more obvious about their feelings towards me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've done it before and it's really no bueno. The guy almost always expects you to keep it up. I personally don't like being the one to lead and I noticed that when I make the first move the guy acts like I'm suppose to be the initiator.

    I thought giving a push would help but forget that I'm waiting out next time. I don't mind dropping obvious hints like there's no tomorrow but I will NEVER make the 1st move again!!!
    I find out later there's a reason he didn't make the first move; he was taken OR didn't like me that much I was an option

    • That's so true! It already happened to me and it's the most annoying thing

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    • Yep, being ourselves is the best thing, and if doesn't seem interested or tries to talk then he doesn't deserve your attention.
      Funny thing, there was this guy I met online and he didn't seem interested at all, short answers and short questions, when I stopped answering he sent messages back trying to get me to answer... Go figure what was going on in his head

    • @BKings 😂😂😂 I recently was thinking about that phenomena! They like us back once we stop liking them like what gives?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 52

  • Honestly? When a female makes the first move I often question her intentions. I know this is not always the case, but sometimes a female making the first move is because she's desperate if she doesn't like that she's single, or because guys she likes aren't giving her any play right now or at all, so she makes a first move with a guy because he's her only option at the moment. So for me I think more often than not that it's probably not a good thing.

    • and if a guy is the one who makes the first move, maybe they are desesperate too? Double standards here

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    • He just gave his honest opinion? That's what the asker wanted; chill. We all have biases and double standards.

    • @Junebug_ It's cool. Most people here can't handle stuff. Life goes on for me.

  • It depends in which way and on the guy. If you mean asking him out it may be a good idea. But try to keep it cute and playful. Let him still feel like the man if that makes sense.

    And if in a sexual way... well I don't know about other guys but I personally love it when girls show they want you in that way.

    By the way generally if it's not a massive difference in age it's not intimidating. Especially if your maturity levels are pretty close.

  • It can really help a guy feel a bit more confident. We worry about our moves being creepish (or at least the sensitive-nice guys do like me), so when we get a 50/50 interest, or even 25% interest, it makes it easier than us doing 100% of the work. Hope this helps :)

  • At your age you shouldn't even worry about these things. But making the frist move us hot as fu*k in my book. I wish I'd be asked out on a date by a wwoman. Takes so much pressure off of me. So much easier for a woman to ask a guy out , than a guy asking a girl out.

    • Sorry, I don't know where you get off saying it is so much easier for a woman to ask a guy out.

      As a woman, I will be the first to tell you that I am absolutely petrified to approach guys, especially ones I like. So 99.99% of the time I'm not approaching anybody. If I do approach you can bet I really, really like you... it will literally take me months to sum up the courage to approach a guy. And you know what I do when I approach him? I say hi. Maybe general conversation weeks/months later. I never, under any circumstances tell a guy I like him unless I know he feels the same way or its over text or social media. Never in public or face to face. Know how many guys I've ever approached? One... in 30 years. (He ended up leading me on, getting with another woman behind my back and then lying to me about it - got really ugly). I want to approach another guy I like now but am trying to sum up the courage to do it.

      In short, I think it can be equally terrifying no matter your sex.

    • @Diskid well that sounds ke what I have, social anxiety. Except I have trouble meeting new friends too. My mind takes over and I have no control. So I know what you are talking about. But if you weren't so let's call it shy, I'm pretty sure you would not have a hard time walking up to guy's and getting dates.

  • Wow I guess girls making the first move are a rare gem, honestly if a girl does it then I will instantly be attached to her emotionally, because she's straightforward and don't like to play games like some girls. And in my opinion only if 2 people are 5 or more years old difference then it's a noticeable difference, so yes you should totally do it, I bet he will be very excited.

    • not rare gems really been approached by girls 4-5 times, not hit on but actually talking to me (usually online first) and going with me, giving me their number... etc
      except all of them had issues, not the kind you would want to date or love

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What Girls Said 6

  • I can't imagine why most guys would have any issue with girls making the first move. I mean.. it'll be a win/win for the guy you're into if you ask him out.

    He can either reject you (but still get an ego boost out of it), or he'll land a new girlfriend.

  • When a female makes the first move, regardless of her true intentions being far from sexual things, guys treat like she wants the D and that's why she is who she is, making the first move.

    Don't believe any of the GaG guys here telling it's so hot and they're turned on and they respect blah blah. I have had plenty of my first moves understood as "wanting the D" mode.

    • Ok, so if girls bend over in front of me, or adjust the bottom of their shirts with their back turned towards me making my eyes go to their butts. Aren't they making a flirtatious first move saying they want my D? Or how about when I'm talking to them, they shove their boobs out and start playing with their hair, exposing their neck?

      Aren't all these first moves all sexual enticements? Why do you think we assume "You want the D"

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    • @GracefulCharm It's not women in general thinking that way. What you say or mean is how you make the other party feel, and how they interpret. Clearly many men make everything about their dick. Even asking out for coffee. Including you. Just because somebody adjusted her dress on th table across you means she wants your D? Lol. Just lol.

    • @lyannamormont
      I'll admit, as a man and understanding of other men, our weakness is a lack of self control. Most of us cannot help ourselves but want sex with a attractive girl.

      But sex doesn't matter if both of us can't connect on a level of love, respect, understanding, caring, agreement, and fun.

      Let's just agree that we are made differently, but we as guys and girls are better together than alone.

  • You are under 18 and he is younger than you? At that age I wouldn't make the first move, I think it is whoreish. When a much older woman takes the first step, it is okay, we can say, she is confident, has experience, she knows what to do. It can be sexy. But you are too young for these. At that age it would seem you are pushy and slutty.

    • It's a good thing she's not considering approaching a girl. From a guy's perspective, it's a great thing, if done carefully.

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    • @GracefulCharm Thumbs up. I'd like to think my wife and I have raised a son who's just a little more stable.

    • @Charleslvajr
      Anytime I read someone claiming a majority of people are to blame. It's usually a inflated ego which has a incorrect perspective.

      I think Blondie80 has a inflated ego, and her son does too. Respect doesn't come from just being good looking or having money. Respect comes from how you treat others. I hope she and her son learn this lesson. It's only fake respect given for status. Nobody enjoys a toxic person and only snakes will tolerate it, aka Fake friends.

  • Guys like it when girls make the first move. It's only fair rather than always expecting a guy to approach you. Besides, they usually don't get subtle hints. If he hasn't noticed you yet and you want him to, you'll save way more time by simply asking him out.

  • I hear a lot of guys complain that girls are lazy and don't make the first move but I hear even more guys complain that girls who make a move on the are sluts who aren't worth their time. You can't have it both ways

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