Should I tell him I love him before it’s too late?

He’s already in a situation, but some things happened over the summer and there’s been evidence on both sides that the both of us haven’t been the same since, and I’ve known him for 12 years.

Should I finally grow the confidence to tell him that I love him before I lose my chance?
Updates:
*He took responsibility for getting his most recent girlfriend pregnant, but they are still together because she’s threatened to take his daughter away if he leaves.

*And him and I realized this summer that we really missed each other, and our vibe- as well as connection- was stronger that it had been before on both sides.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a clawing dilemma. The other situations notwithstanding, you need to ask yourself about what the consequences of your revelation might be. Do you value your friendship with him more? You might end up losing that. I'd suggest that you prepare for the worst, yet let him know what you feel, in a matter-of-fact way. Just try to be understanding of the possible outcomes and hopefully you can get out of it relatively unscathed

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • And see with that, this summer I tried to tell him we should just be friends, and he said he would never be able to see me as just a friend.

    • Ah, the damage is done 😳 In that case, it's up to you. There is a child involved. Are you currently prepared to accept a child into your life if it comes to that? Besides, you wouldn't want to be the reason that a child's parents stay apart. These are things worth considering.

    • I’m definitely not the one keeping them apart, they’ve already been together three years, she was the rebound after me. I completely welcome his daughter, I would love to be a stepmother, I want four kids.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should find out if he loves her first. Because if so, all you’re doing is damaging their relationship and being a home wrecker. But, if he doesn’t or he wants to end it with her, then yeah you should tell him. Find out how he feels first!

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I think a lot of people need to really understand the definition of a home wrecker. If their home was happy, we wouldn’t have connected this summer.

    • I understand that. But, unless you know how he feels and you go and tell him your feelings... you could be hurting their relationship even more, which maybe they could fix. You’re a side chick right now... the their woman. He’s with her for a reason so unless he wants to leave her, all you’re doing it damage.

    • I’m not the side chick, him and I were together and she was the rebound. We already told each other we loved one another while we were together the first time around. This is a love that got away situation, he’s with her because she’s threatened to take the kid away from him, not because they are a happy family. They were on the fritz long before him and I decided to see each other this summer.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • He's together with someone else (however tenuously), and has a kid with her. He has a lot to deal with already. There is a good chance he'll be single again sometime soon. That's when you tell him your feelings for him.

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    • She is very vengeful though, and he is the kind of guy to stay miserable because he thinks he’s doing the right thing. And because of some decisions he made in the past, she could get full custody. It’s a really shitty postition for myself and for him, but I have this overwhelming feeling that I need to say this to him, but I’m scared shitless.

  • Yes. If you do, it'll be really nerve-wracking and scary, but if you don't do it, you'll always regret it.

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  • Tell him, but in a nice, confident way, maybe some extra words

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  • If your feelings for him are strong, say it to him now before it's too late

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  • People regret over the things they dont do way more then what they did.

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  • you are on your one on this one
    no one can decide for you
    its tricky quastion

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  • Tell him. Live your life without regrets.

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    • Even if it doesn't go the way you want, it's better to get it off your chest.

    • Show All
    • LMAO I threw up the first two weeks of middle school because none of my friends went there, I’ve struggled with anxiety for a looooooong time but it’s also time to be a grown up 😩

    • In elementary school I used to cry every time I had to go up for a speech and could never get a word in. Everyone eventually has to break through their shell. I would avoid people in general if I could, but you have to deal with people in classes or jobs or whatever it is you do. Just do it and you'll feel better.

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  • Yes! It may not be easy, but otherwise you will keep asking 'what if?' for a long time...

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  • It depends how old you are and if it is true love or not. You are still too young to be tied down...

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    • We’re both 24, and we’ve always had amazing sex, and been more honest with each other than we are with anyone else. Being tied down isn’t really an issue

  • Yep, are you sure you can handle daughter?

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    • I’ve always said i wanted 4 kids, but that never meant all 4 had to be from me

    • Whatever floats your boat, go for it. Please keep int mind the population lol, and the expenses that come with them

    • I am well aware, everyone I know is on their second and third child and I’ve been nanny for all of them lol

  • Very vague, but sure. What do you have to lose?

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    • My lunch🙄
      I’m afraid me figuring out a way to say it is going to blow up in my face, but I’m also afraid I won’t get the chance if I don’t spit it out now

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    • I know you’re right, I’m just a chicken shit because I’m afraid of losing him as a lover AND a friend. I’m just hoping that enough of these comments will rev me up in a sense

    • Lady fam, either way. You know by saying nothing you don't win. But saying something you either win or don't lol. Just weigh the options here. You can know for certain or forever wonder. If you forever wonder, good luck on closure

  • Go tell him.

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  • Yes before it's too late

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  • do it.

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  • Go ahead..

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  • Tell the truth but only if you are willing to do more than just talk.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't do what i did honestly tell him before it is too late and you never get the chance to

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  • I have a few questions. Did he use to like you? Or were you always friends? Did you date at some point? What exactly happened?

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    • So, we didn’t get together until we were 20, after knowing each other since we were 12, and we both told each other we loved each other. I was at a pivotal point in my life, after I turned 21, where I was getting off of anti depressants I’d been on since I was 14 and he was in party mode after he turned 21 (our birthdays are close). So we sort of just stopped talking and fell apart that way. We both had a lot more growing up to do before we could resume the relationship. And in that time, he hooked up with a girl we used to go to school with and got her pregnant.
      We got back to speaking after 3 and a half years because he’d added me and then deleted me on fb and I decided to ask why he did all of that. Turns out the girlfriend deleted me, and when I took the opportunity to tell him how proud of him I was for stepping up and taking care of his daughter, and taking responsibility for the family he made. His response was “I miss you and everything before”

  • Tell him before it is too late

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