Why am I so afraid my boyfriend will cheat? Or be attracted to someone else more than me?

I have been with him for 1.5 years. I still worry that when we go out to parties, and he meets new people that he might be attracted to some of the girls there. He doesn’t really go up to them and chat or give me any actual reason to believe he’d pursue them. But, afterwards he’ll ask a lot about specific girls. Or he’ll try and be near them sometimes but he doesn’t talk to them :/

0|0
15

Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of guys find other women attractive and want to know more about them without following up. If that bothers you then you should bring it up and talk about it

    1|0
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Yes. But, this one specific girl we have met twice (she is a friend of out friend). She is a cute girl, she’s tiny and Asian. I️ can sense my boyfriend has an attraction to her and is interested in knowing more about her. I️ feel insecure. But, perhaps I️ shouldn’t. I️ didn’t see him engaging with her too much. Not much at all, to be honest. I️ only noticed occasionally he’d be near her. We all played a game called “suck and blow”. It’s a drinking game where every stands in a circle going boy girl boy girl and so on. Then a card is passed between each person by mouth. One person sucks on the card and the other blows (you can imagine wha happens when the card drops :/) My boyfriend stood between me and this girl, and she accidentally dropped the card and their lips touched. At the time I️ felt jealous but said to myself “it’s just a game. This just happened with another girl’s man and my friend. My boyfriend didn’t makeout with her”. But, I️t still brings jealousy to me. I️ didn’t mention I️t to him.

    • Show All
    • That's it.

      I'm no expert, but I know myself and my friends are the exact same way. Getting excited or aroused like that is an immediate response, something I know I can't control. There's also no emotional component to it.

      Is he trying to spend time with the other girl?

    • No, he isn’t. But, I’m worried for the next time we see her at a party. The interest I️ see him take in her is just one I️ want for myself.

      I️ am often good at picking up on people’s body language and sensing vibes between people :(

Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to take a few deep breaths and a giant step back.

    It is normal and HEALTHY for people to have friends and connect with people of different genders. What you're doing right now is super UNHEALTHY and it's bad for you and bad for him.

    Do you think it's right that your insecurities are hurting him?

    1|0
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I️ didn’t mention this to him :/

    • I'm p sure he knows when you don't like something after a year and a half

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I would personally invite my girlfriend to every party I go to and make her feel very comfortable with the people I chill with. Jealousy and insecurities are something that your parter should work to erase from you and give you no doubt that their eyes are only on you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • If he's a good boyfriend then it should be OK, but if he's either known to cheat or talk to ex's often then it sounds a bit suspicious, but don't be afraid, worst comes to worst you'll find someone else

    0|0
    0|0
  • Insecure with yourself. If you get to carried away with the jealously, you'll push him away. You have to trust. Work on yourself, whatever insecurities you have.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because you're insecure about yourself.

    2|0
    0|0
    • How do i changethis?

    • Show All
    • That was a nice reply. You are right. Yes, i don’t feel I️ am good enough, or pretty enough and that some other girl can take my boyfriend because she’s drop dead gorgeous, or funnier than me, or from the same background as him. He knows I️ have low self-esteem and am insecure when I️t comes to him and relationships. He thinks I️ have confidence because I️ lost a lot of weight and post on social media. But, I️t also doesn’t help my boyfriend doesn’t give me many compliments. I️ wish he gave more :/

    • Yeah, that's a big issue. I don't do it everyday or so, but I let her know that I miss her and can't wait to see her smile or something along those lines. You seem very coherent and rational, which is a great thing. You might feel like you are anything great, but believe me when I say that we are all great and unique in our own way which makes us shine. One thing I suggest is to start with complementing yourself once a day. It can be small like, "I have nice eyes" or "I have a good smile" or even "my teeth are straight" it can be anything! Have to start small to truly feel good about yourself! The fact that you're aware that you're self conscious is a good start. :)

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...