The girl I am dating's EX contacted he, r and she got upset.. What should I do now?

I got a woman I work with to break off a two year long distance relationship for me. We have an amazing connection, the kind that makes me think she could be a big part of my future. Now I am falling for her but I know she is not ready for that yet...

So it started out with her asking me on a date. I did not reciprocate because I knew she was in a relationship, and I dont do the whole friends going out that have boyfriends thing. So I told myself if she asked again, THEN it would be on, and I would text her, and flirt with her. Basically see what would happen. So after days, and nights of this whole texting thing. We realized we had a ridiculously strong connection, that we just didn't see before... So one thing led to another, and she ended up breaking up with the guy she had been dating for two years, so that she could see where things could go. Now at the same time, in my oppinion she needed to be out of that relationship anyway, and I know she agrees with that blanket statement. Now here is where things get interesting. We started really seeing eachother, having amazing sex and kissing for what seemed like days.. Every time I kiss her every feeling I have is reciprocated. We defenitely have a ton of lust going for us. To me this can easily be turned into a great serious relationship eventually... The thing is this ex boyfriend is friends with her mom... Her relationship with her parents especially her dad is good. Her mother, straight up made her feel terrible for leaving this other guy. Saying things like "you don't know what your doing or messing up". She is in her early twenties... so most people agree her mother should just be supportive... Anyway, now that you know that. I can tell you my dilemma... Her ex called her a few days ago, and just said he missed her and hope she is ok. She then got very upset and cried about it... So I know she isn't fully over him. With the connection I know that is there between us, and where it could go.. How do I handle this?


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  • The only thing that you can do which will not get you in "trouble" with anyone is to go to the girl, tell her that you understand the situation, and ask her what you can do - if anything - to help her with this, and then respect whatever she tells you.

    If she tells you that she needs to re-establish her relationship with the guy, respect that. The odds are that, if that does happen, it will soon fall apart anyway, so just be patient and supportive and show her that you are the kind of guy who she should want to have in her life.

    Good luck!

    • Wow that was fast and supportive as hell... So I did that, and she told me that she is just being over emotional and, she may just need more time than she originally thought to fully get over him. She then told me what we have means a lot to her and to be patient... But as you can see from me even asking this question.. It is a little bit hard for me.. See no matter what, I will respect her decision, and what she says... I just don't know how far I should back off, if at all, with the banter/flirting/ and sexual things... She just sent me a very provocative message/picture last night belasically teasing the hell out of me... So I know, not to fully back off, but I still feel like I could handle this better... Does any of that make sense?

    • Yes, you want to be respectful of the fact that she is "in mourning" but not miss an opportunity to be flirtatious and advance your own cause. She will probably have good and bad days so I think you just need to follow her lead on that subject and respond to whatever she sends out to you. And you might try occasionally asking, "Can Amber [or whatever her name is] some out and play?"

    • You sir... Have masterful advice... The psychology of your response is spot on. I could not agree more. Thank you very much. You hit the nail on the head. The situation is playing out to be just as you describe.

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