Why can women be unemployed but men can't?

It seems like in the dating world if a man and a woman were talking, if she said she was unemployed this wouldn't be a problem for him, and he'd be supportive.

If a man tells a woman he's unemployed, she gives him the cold shoulder and has no intention on supporting him. She'll most likely find someone who does have money to give her.

I'm not saying you should have to support someone financially but you can still be there for someone without paying money, giving them the emotional support they need to get out of h employment, but women don't seem to think this why? Why is that?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's actually men's fault you created the expectation that womem stay home are caretakers, clean, wash dishes and do everything for you and you go to work that's how the dynamic was supposed to work and mem kept wanting those types women so when you find stay-at-home moms, women and wives you can't be surprised!!! men on the other hand get called Loser by other men and women when they don't have a job to support themselves or other. Also men go for looks when we go for financial stability they're pretty much equal to each other... would you stay with your wife if she gained 30 lbs and got a scar on her face.. and wasn't a sexually attractive to you then you can't really expect a woman to stay with you when you have no Financial stability. All people are shallow...

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    • "You created the expectation"

      I don't remember creating that.

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    • Memphis worship that's that's just the reality of life will you guys seem to misconstrue is that you brought most of hardship upon yourself by creating these standards for other people and yourself... women didn't create this standard the patriarchy did

    • If we assume you are correct about men bringing hardship upon themselves, what I think you're saying is that we should not address current mens' issues due to other mens' actions thousands of years ago, but we should focus on womens' issues because 500 generations ago women didn't cause their hardship/inequality/mistreatment?

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's simple - men and women look for different things in a partner instinctively, whether they realise it or not. Men look for signs of fertility and of the woman being a good Mother, while women look for signs that a man will be able to protect and provide for her and her children. It doesn't matter if a woman is unemployed, because she'll be unemployed anyway if she's staying home to raise children. But it's not a good sign for a man, whether it's through his own doing or not, and I'm saying that even though I've had bad luck and hard times in the past.

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What Girls Said 17

  • Just because you don't particularly care if a woman is employed or not doesn't mean that other men don't. I've also known plenty of women who've dated guys who were jobless and sat around at home playing video games all day. Would I personally date someone who was jobless? If they were inbetween jobs and actively looking yes, if they were content to sit at home and do nothing no. I don't accept traits in a patner that I wouldn't accept in myself.

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    • It's not about "not caring if a woman is unemployed" it's about showing support...

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    • You seem to think you've met every single woman ever born. I am telling you that as a culture women do not get less flack for not having a job and they are definatley not applauded for it. Your clearly having a rough time right now, I get it but your letting that affect the way you view the world and it is clearly clouding your judgment. Your statement of unemployed women getting called "empowering" is completely delusional. You may have heard one particular woman who is unemployed getting called "empowering" due to situations outside of your knowledge (maybe she was leaving a toxic workplace, maybe she left to pursue a dream) but she was not being called empowering for being unemployed. The whole notion is completely ridiculous and not built on logic.

    • Alright cheers

  • It used to be that women were often housewives, while men supported their family financially. So there may still be some lingering bias towards women being unemployed, however, women are gegnserally expected to be employed these days. It’s not easy to support a family on a single income anymore, and most women prefer to have their own career anyway.

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  • I've never actually thought about this before, but you're right. I suppose it's got something to do with, if a woman was unemployed, there's the assumption there somewhere that she is doing something else with her life, like taking care of kids or family or wanting to go back to studying. With men on the other hand, I assume (as a woman, and this is just an assumption on my part, I'll obviously be wrong in most or some cases) that they are unemployed due to a lack of trying, maybe they're lazy or maybe they've got a bit of a problem with authority and would not do well in an environment where they'd be supervised, etc.

    I guess the possibility of long term relationships also factors in. Say, if a woman was to get pregnant, she would have to take leave off work, and despite having maternity leave and possibly any paid benefits, she would expect her partner to be able to support her and the coming baby without much worry.

    I don't really think being unemployed is a big deal whether it be men or women as long as they're doing something worthwhile like furthering their studies, maybe travelling, or at least investing in order to ensure that they will have some sort of income, not just living off of someone like their parents. I imagine it's easy enough to get into a relationship with someone who is unemployed even when they're not doing anything else, but I think it gets to a point where it's been months and they still aren't doing anything and still haven't found a job and it gets harder to push for them to find something to do other than spend money as it will get a bit complicated with the nagging and the arguing.

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    • Sometimes it can take months of hard work and you can't land an interview. It's not that you're not trying, it's that you've not had good luck.

      But I am somewhat relieved that such a thing is noticeable.

    • Yeah I understand that. I guess women sort of get a free pass with some things. I do think we'd be receiving more 'oh you'll find better' or 'you did your best and it just didn't work out' than guys do. It's like men are expected to do things right the first time around (I've been guilty of thinking this with my previous relationships and would get a bit upset, I kept it to myself but the feeling was still there) and women are given a sort of free pass the first few times just because they might be a bit more emotionally fragile

  • Make it a problem then. Men don't care because they want sex more than anything. If a man is unemployed but actively looking for a job, has potential to get a good job, won't ask her for money and is attractive in every other way, I bet most women don't care.

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  • This is so sexist!!! Women are not like that.
    For a while last year I was the only one providing the income and do you think I left him cos of that?
    SOME men and SOME women would leave people because they're unemployed. There can be valid reasons for this but for the most part it's a dick move.
    ANY DECENT PERSON, MAN OR WOMAN, WOULD NOT. So don't act like this is a downfall of all women in general. Most of us are in fact not bitches. But you just can't judge a whole gender like we're all the same, because we're not!!!

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    • By "a while" I mean 6 months by the way. Do you know how hard that was? *I* faced it. *I* was the one who supported us.

    • But that didn't really answer your question. I'm struggling to answer your question. It's hard to get by without money and sometimes money problems break up relationships but this isn't about gender at all. Good people will stay in their relationship and fight on. Shitty people will break up and keep their money to themselves

  • It depends if the person is unemployed by choice vs circumstances, says a lot about ones character.

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  • No you wouldn't at least not anymore, guys would automatically assume she's a gold digger and wants he dude to pay for everything so he would do the exact same thing and bounce. The point is nobody wants a scrub, man or woman ca use they want somebody who can bring something to the table on both sides and feel like they're the only one bringing a paycheck home. If the guy is having a bit of rough patch and TRYING to find employment, then I won't look down on him for that cause I been there before. But if he's unemployed and just trying to find a couch to sleep on or woman trying to find a bed to sleep in, then the both of them are going to get swerved.

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  • No one around me will date me if I didn't have a job...

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  • lol I was totally willing to bang a dude who was unemployed, if ur hot it won't matter

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    • he said in the dating world.

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    • @Tdieseler hey thanks man

    • i know a conclusion when i see one. welcome.

  • At your age aren't most people in school?

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    • No, they're working and now going into their 2nd/3rd and moving out.

      Don't assume; you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'

    • 18-24 was college and grad school for me. I worked in the summers.

    • This was a question, not really an assumption. I think the asker is the one who put his foot in his mouth a bit here lol.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I think it has something to do with biology. Men are more hardwired to be attracted to women based on looks, whereas women are more hard wired to be attracted to a man based on his social status. Most men couldn't give a shit if a woman is unemployed. If she is good looking and has a vagina, then he's gonna be interested.

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  • Because people have their own expectations ingrained by biology and society. Men were the breadwinners for a long time.

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  • I thought men demand women work in kitchen, take care house and children

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  • because men like women more, so they have to bring something to the table.

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  • Because the vagina is a money maker in itself

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  • They think we are just losers if we are inbetween jobs and think they may have to pay for things for us , yet we don’t think like that of them. It’s kind of a double standard

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  • There are plenty of unemployed men, especially in the city

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  • ... she wants his money

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