My ex has been in contact, what should I do?

My ex and I broke up due to the fact she wanted to stay in contact with her ex girlfriend who treated her like shit. She would constantly put me second in our relationship and never made me feel ‘special’

It’s been around 6/7 months since we broke up, and she’s made new friends, moved on kinda and I have too. I’ve developed a crush on a Work friend. A man. He doesn’t know of course.

Today my ex messaged me saying “I really just... miss talking to you in general.” <exact words. I replied to her, and she replied and then I replied and now no message for about ten minutes. I just don’t know what to do? I was very depressed and upset with her and after we broke up, now I’m a bit healthier... I just urgh I don’t know. I thought about her twice today which is the weirdest thing and then she messaged me... I feel like she’s messaging me because I posted on a site we both used to use and I feel as though she wants to be apart of that life since we used to play an online game together all the time.. it’s a huge community.

I don’t know if I want her in my life anymore..

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What Guys Said 1

  • People make mistakes and abusive relationships get in your head in ways you can't imagine. Someone in a vulnerable position doesn't always decide who has emotional power over them.

    Now it's up to you to decide if she was troubled or was it sheer stupidity on her part. If you feel that she could have any sort of romantic relevance again, I wouldn't do it. When people show you who they are and how they dont treat you as special, it won't change. Those kinds of back and forths are not healthy and almost always build resentment. Even if you dont get back together, but she's around, the nagging thought is quite painful to have over time. Some people aren't meant to stick around forever and thats probably one of the toughest lessons for anyone to learn.

    If you want to be her friend and KNOW that she can't pull at your heart strings anymore, then its another story.

    I chuckled when you had to specifically mentiom that your crush is a man, I don't know why xD

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    • Lol, I see why you might find that funny! And oh my lord thank you for that comment so much, It really helped a lot. My heart literally opens up for anyone, even ex partners and it would be super easy for her to move her way back in. However I don’t think she will ever change, I still don’t feel comfortable having her on my social media’s because I don’t want too see what she’s doing with her life... but it’s not in my heart to reject someone if they reach out. I’ll tread very carefully. I’m become quite antisocial since being with her anyway, I kinda have retreated into myself and I stick to VERY close people only. I don’t feel like moving out of that for someone who treated me like shit.

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    • My second serious relationship. She would call me selfish because she would put me second to her ex and to other things which weren’t important AT ALL. She said some fucked up things. I did too but in retaliation. However she was never in the wrong in her shoes, I apologised all the time and she never saw how her actions were wrong. I don’t think me being in a CLOSE relationship with her friendship wise is a good idea. I have a door on my heart which opens over the most smallest thing, I’m too kind for my own good.

    • Oh yes that type of person... the selfish argument is almost always deflection or shaming. People who dont extend understanding beyond what they think or compromise once in a while aren't worth keeping around. Good luck with whatever you do!

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