Do you deny the alpha/beta male thing?

And that women tend to gravitate more towards alphas then betas?
  • Yes, it's bullshit
    Vote A
  • No, it's a real thing
    Vote B
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The 'it's real' crowd is winning :P

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't deny it, but I think it's a limited and backwards way of thinking.
    In labeling potential partners as "alpha" or "beta", what you're doing is categorizing everyone in one of two categories.

    In human psychology, diagnostic classification is moving away from the categorical approach, because it's shown to be too rigid.
    Humans are dynamic beings, and should be looked at dimensionally, despite the efficiency of categorizing.

    When you apply the categorical approach to dating, you're going to overlook certain possibilities, such as the potential for compatibility despite the lack of initial attraction (because the person didn't fit into your pre-set "alpha" category).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The fact of the matter is that it's all situational to your environment and the skills that you possess or lack. A guy who's an "alpha" in one situation would be completely useless and supplanted by another in a different situation or around different people. An "alpha" should be the dominant male in all social situations, and this just doesn't exist.

    The idea of alpha and beta males in humans is as much garbage as the idea of alpha and beta males in wolf packs. Dr. L. David Mech, the guy who originally observed and wrote about this behavior in the 60s, discovered later that he was completely wrong. What he observed as the "alpha" was just the breeding male in a family unit.

    Here, you can watch an incredibly boring video of him talking about it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNtFgdwTsbU

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    • Fantastic

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    • Even if it is fake, if a lot of people truly believe this it does make dating harder than it needs to be especially if you are perceive as a beta by many women.

    • Mech backed away from his conclusions from the 1970's after observing wolves in the wild vs. in captivity. However, the alpha/beta/omega/etc social hierarchy does exist for some other kinds of animals, including most primates. Annnnd... humans are primates.

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What Girls Said 21

  • No i don't deny it i agree with it.
    I like a mix of both though.

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  • Yeah, alpha/beta is real. Just simply types of behavior exhibited by people that a particular person tends to manifest. Some guys are just more assertive and dominant than others. It’s painfully obvious. I would question to what degree women gravitate toward the alpha male though. Maybe more that the alpha guy takes the risks to get the girl and actually has little to do with a woman’s preference.

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    • So what can guys do to become more alpha? Or should they even try?

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    • Psychology today... talks about the effect of social dominance in men and even the physical traits that lead to certain perceptions by peers and women and how this plays out in terms of social success.

      Makes a strong argument that supports much of the anecdotal things we see in every day life. It also points out the complexities of human social standing, how it can change over time and that not having the se traditional alpha qualities does not exclude success in life as a human male.

      www.psychologytoday.com/.../are-alpha-males-myth-or-reality

    • thanks ill check it out

  • I think some men perceive themselves as alpha at some stage in their life, but it's a flexible status.

    I've known alpha men to be reduced to dust by a broken heart or a sudden bad luck event.

    I gravitate towards men with some internal darkness, slightly damaged or broken. Sometimes these former alphas because I'm a nurturer.

    So really dominant, aggressive, overly confident men are incredibly unattractive to me.

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    • So in that case why not help the socially awkward shy guy out as well?

    • Who said I haven't? My last boyfriend was that in a nutshell but in the end he was toi awkward. He was awkward in bed. Never quite sure where to put his body. Too afraid of doing it wrong to go down on me, and when he did it was awkward and terrible.

      He was awkward when we went out. I always had to choose the venue. I had to order the food. I had to get up to pay because he was too socially awkward and terrified of making a mistake.

      Surely anyone can see how unappealing that is in a relationship. It's tedious for a partner to have to guide him at every step.

  • It is a real thing. However what most people don't realise is that on a bell curve, betas would be the middle zone, alphas would be on the right and failures on the left. Basically betas are regular, everyday people who live normal lives, might lead occasionally but that is not their usual territory. Alphas are leaders, and usually more physically attractive.

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    • sooo you really want an alpha but would settle with a beta?

    • Uh I don't really know. But he needs to be able to make a decision and stick to it.

  • I hate when people use the alpha beta labels. If anything, women gravitate towards guys who speak up and say hey, I’m attracted to you wanna go out rather than the guys who just stare making a girl wonder, does he like me? Why is he looking at me? Does that require him the be “alpha”? Or just using common sense.

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  • Women want men that they know can take care of them and protect them. It's natural, it's wired into our heads. We naturally crave the men that we think will be best for us and future offspring.

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  • I believe in it. I think in today's society it's almost "shamed" because no one wants to admit betas are unattractive because they don't want to offend anyone. So people think they shouldn't care. But I'm definitely more attracted to Alphas.

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  • Hmm, it's real to an extent but I think that to reduce people just down to alpha/beta dynamics is quite a narrow-minded way of looking at it.

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  • I’m not saying the characteristics may appear in a group, but it’s such a small minded way to look at humanity and really doesn’t encompass the range of personalities and behaviours in the world. Because I haven’t had much experience with men, I think there is somewhat of an alpha/beta complex in women as well that no one seems to talk about, but every time I actually get to know these people any preconception of alpha/beta status is no longer relevant, because they constantly break and subvert any stereotype.

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  • I’d say it’s real, but not in the one or the other sense. It’s more on a spectrum, and women are too. Women can also be alpha or beta. Do you have a preference?

    Additionally, I have dated both. I consider myself quite alpha, but I don’t prefer the beta type, only because I tend to steamroll them. I’m very independent and assertive, and I can come off as intimidating to some guys- but I still want to feel that I can turn to them when I don’t have the answers. I need a guy that can handle me, and that if and when I need their help, they can support me.

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    • Yes, this: "It’s more on a spectrum, and women are too. Women can also be alpha or beta. Do you have a preference?"

  • It's bullshit in the sense that men think women would rather have a guy who pushes them around, literally and/or figuratively, than a nice guy.

    It's not bullshit in that we want someone who can hold down a job and has social confidence and good life skills.

    It's bullshit in that no one persin is totally one way or the other, and so it's a false classification scheme. We all have weaknesses and strengths.

    It's not bullshit in that many men themselves buy into it and judge themselves and others accordingly.

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  • It's a real thing but any decent woman won't follow it

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  • Everyone has a certain amount of feminine and masculine energy, chemical makeup, overall physical attraction and connection with different people. As far as I know, all of these factors come into play when people are choosing a “mate” or “partner” or “fuckbuddy” or whatever theyre looking for. When people meet and they hit it off, it’s usually because there’s a balance between the two people. So he could be a total stick in the mud and she could be an extrovert with an outgoing personality, and it wouldn’t even matter because theyre traits balance each other out in some way or another. Doesn’t matter if someone is alpha or beta, just matters if you have that connection and balance with someone.

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  • I don’t like alphas and prefer the more sensitive guys so that I can kind of be the strong one and so that I can also be the nurturer.

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  • I don't really believe in it.

    @Update: But just barely. :P

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  • I gravitate towards anyone with a penis.

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  • Aren't they all stupid?

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  • Yes bullshit.

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  • It's not all black and white.

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  • The matter is very subjective though.

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What Guys Said 25

  • The alpha/beta terminology is misused and it doesn't mean what most people think it means, however women do tend to be more attracted to a man who is a confident leader or at least has the ability to be rather than to a man who isn't.

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    • In your words what do they mean?

    • Alpha means a leader of a group, beta mean the followers. So for example many people will point to military guys and say that they're all alphas, but most of them will be following a leader, so by definition most of them are betas, and it's not a negative thing. Sure, most of them have the ability to lead if given the chance, but they can't all be alpha.

      That's what it means, but nowadays it's become a term based on masculinity/lack of masculinity, and the way women view men. So these guys think that if they do certain things they can become alpha, but there's a saying - "it's easy to be an alpha in a group of one". How can you be an alpha if you aren't leading a group? You can't. That's not what it means. You can work on being more confident, assertive, strong, masculine etc. on your own, and an alpha male would have to be all of those things, but as with the military example so would the betas there.

  • What's real is that Femininity gravitates towards Masculinity, just as Masculinity gravitates towards Femininity. Alpha and beta are really just the traits of masculinity in expression or the lack thereof. Alpha and beta both hold masculine energy, the term beta is used for men who don't know how to express or manifest their masculine energy properly, this is a common problem nowadays for boy's and men in general. Schools have become very '' Anti Masculine '' there are very very few in any at all activities at school that allow for Boy's to practice, express and build up their Masculinity. I said it before and i'll say it again '' Feminism must Die ''
    Without these two energies there could exist no life, Therefore Masculinity and Femininity will always exist, and if you deny either energy the freedom of expression and refinement then creation will suffer the consequence, because one cannot sustain without the other.
    Turning boy's into girl's and girl's into boy's won't do humanity any good, sadly a lot of people are completely naive when it comes to matters or reality and existence, and feminist are '' the blind leading the blind '' for lack of a better term.
    I hope that people will come to realize this very soon because politicians go where the money is and at the moment there is lots of money and attention on the feminism card. Bolster yourselves with knowledge and this virus that is Feminism will not affect you.

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  • There is some truth to it. Sure, strong and confident men often have more success with women and life in general. But the concept is completely blown out of proportion by “alpha” meatheads who look for an excuse to justify acting like an asshole.

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  • To a large degree yes. More accurately, the many who openly beat these drums do it as a means to forge an identity. As a mean to conceal obvious insecurities. If you are something you do not need to preach it to the world. For you are silently assured of its reality.

    I will use the ALPHA example;

    If you ask its definition most would deem it as a persona that is visible and in your face. Whereas I use the Lion King guide. Pointing to Mufasa and his persona as your quintessential 'ALPHA'

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    • 100% agree true alphas don't need to shout it out to the world. If he was an "alpha" there's no need to announce it actions speak for itself. It's like the guys who brag about having a huge dick 8/10 they probably got a small 1

    • @That1tallguy I use the analogy of the guys who gho around big mouthing in bar settings how good they are in a fight. When shit goes down they are always the ones hiding under the tables or running out the back door. as compared to the silent types who go through many

  • Neither is 100% true. There is a difference in the type of men women will choose depending on their intentions. For short term /casual flings women tend to prefer the Alpha male type. For long term relationships they tend to go for the beta type a little more. Makes sense on an evolutionary psychological basis, ie you want the beta care and loyalty to help raise the alphas genes.

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  • Nah, some guys are definitely naturally more dominant, down to testosterone levels. Also the guys confidence level will change how he acts around people.

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  • There is some truth in the general concept, but if definitely doesn't exist in the cut-and-dried, pigeon-holed way that some people here seem to think it does.

    People who are more confident and competent will generally be more successful, and that includes the mating game. Such qualities also attract the opposite sex, most particularly women. But the idea that everyone fits cleanly into categories is just stupid.

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  • It is a narrow minded out dated perspective of what someone should be. To all of those who believe in such bullshit, i say you must cram it up your ass and to the left.

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  • I believe it... but u don't think the designation is a natural selection.

    Alpha/beta is more about personality (which can be developed and manipulated)

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  • I believe it, but I think it's highly contextual. One can be alpha in one area of their lives and a beta (or whatever) in others.

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  • the phenomenon is based in evolutionary psycology and its real whether you like it or not. unfortunately frat bros ruined the term alpha.

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  • I think you declare yourself an alpha you automatically disqualify yourself

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  • Women are hypocritical. They will sya that it;s fake but they don;t respond to beta males they just ignore them and hate them

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  • I mean... Alpha males are typically stronger in some way, so it's probably true.

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  • Nope. It is real and it is necessary for self improvements to both : men and women.

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  • It's bullshit in the highest degree of stupidity...

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  • Its a crucible thing. It matters or it doesn't.. there is no try!

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  • Wanna know who denies it? Beta males themselves.

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    • So what can guys do to become more alpha? Or should they even try?

    • Basically, have a mature outlook in life, take good care of your appearance, learn to take criticism and just don't be insecure or pessimistic. That kind of stuff.

  • It’s a oversimplification. Mark zuckerberg may be the top alpha in his field of work. It earned him millions, fame and his hit girlfriend stayed with him. But if he went to prison he would be he bottom bitch all around.

    Also that high school bully who skipped classes and got drunk all the time probably got lots of ass back in the day. But 20 years later he’s lost most his hair, has a gut, maybe a few felony convictions etc. He works in contracting and maybe gets a few average women in bed. However he’s nowhere near that nerdy kid who got a PhD and is working in aerospace somewhere.

    Anyway this who concept is very annoying. This is coming from a former pro MMA fighter by the way.

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  • It's real

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