I've never had a boyfriend and it's really making me question my self worth and how men see me?

I've been attracting men since I was 16 who only wanted sex. None of them ever wanted to be with me, and stopped being nice after I said no sex. I held out until I was 20 because I wanted to be with someone I loved.

By the time I got to 20, I figured love wasn't in my cards and decided to go with someone who I liked and was seeing casually. He played me hard. And it's that's the only type I attract; men who want me for something casual until they find the woman they really want.

I'm lost. I don't dress provacatively or go out looking for assholes. These are literally just who happens to approach me. The last guy I was with sat me down and told me he was getting back together with his ex, and he would never be in a relationship with me. The most recent guy pursuing me said he wants to date me but doesn't want a relationship with me because my life isn't together. Today one of my coworkers asked me how was it possible my best friend has two men chasing after her and I have none.

I have no idea what vibe I'm giving off. I'e always been involved in extra curricular activities, I've held a job since I was 16 and I'm in school working towards a career. My mom taught me to be independent and not to expect anything from men, so I'm not gold digging or depending on a men. I live at home with my mom because I can't afford to be on my own.

All I've ever wanted was to have someone who loves and supports me and I can do the same for.

0|0
318

Most Helpful Guy

  • The odds aren’t in your favour in 2017. It’s sad. Good girls/guys like you are always being played and hurt. Then eventually you turn into a slut/ fuckboy and play other people because your sick of being hurt. Eventually people mellow out in their mid - late 20’s and search for love. Modern society puts pressure on people to focus on careers. Plus the party culture of western counties makes hooking up when you young easy. It’s sort of women’s fault though because most girls these days are pretty slutty and go home with random men all the time, so guys have adapted and think every girl is like most women and they want quick sex, because they think every girl is a slut because most men don’t want to seriously date a slut and that’s why so many women get used these days. Sadly being a slut isn’t good for a woman but they think they should because tv tells them too. I don’t know what to say other than I hope you meet the right guy one day.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • If this is your problem then you need to see a counselor. A man doesn't define who you are. Your actions and how you choose to carry yourself does. The reason why you have issues is because you don't know who you are as a person, and you're weak because you're a people pleaser. Your so focused on what so-called guys want instead of focusing of what you really need in a partner. At the same time, you just did it because you wanted to. And not because this is what you were called to do. Stop settling for less. And change how you approach dating.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So called guys? How is a guy not a guy? lol typical feminist nonsense

    • Show All
    • Oh and women are so much more educated and advanced. Give me a break. I look at choices most females make and shake my head in disgust.

    • @AntiFeminist_ And you don't think some of us do the same your saying? There are those who do have a brain you know, just like I know there are men who don't treat women like their just for sex, or use sex before marriage to have sex with many before they even think about settling down.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • You dont need sex to have a good relationship. At the age you are most men aren't fully men to be honest. They're still boys and dont know what they want. They get horny and think that they need to give in to that to be happy. They dont. Its fun in the short term but it can lead to misleading emotions in relationships. The pleasure of intimacy in the bedroom might blind to a lack of intimacy intellectually and emotionally. And being in tune as people will mean a lot more than sexually. Especially for people with little to no sexual experience as sexual inclinations and tendencies are learned by pattern. So if you have little to no experience and your partner has little to no experience you will grow into the same kinks more or less. Focus on someone who is wholesome and wants to spend time with you. Not just touch you. Someone who wants a partner, not a girlfriend. That man will stand by you, you can stand by him and when the time comes where you both are ready you will be sure of your feelings and commitment. You will be less likely to have a relationship that falls apart in painful tragedy given that you dont share physical intimacy. It tends to make separation easier because people feel less trauma at having given themselves fully to someone only to have it not work. If a man can't respect you for yourself and your choices he isn't worth it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you haven't noticed yet by looking around this site, you're not alone! lol. It's hard for any of us, guys or girls and at any age to find someone we truly connect with. Be patient, it will come eventually. In the mean time, don't put yourself down or doubt your self worth, again, you're not alone and it's not you as a person. Be happy with yourself and your life and it will come.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Most guys really aren't that serious till about 25, there are many pigs in this world, maby try aproching some guys and just try to have normal conversations with them, you can start realtionships to you know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've never had a stable relationship with a girlfriend & i've also questioned the capacity I have to keep a woman around in a supportive & loving capacity. It sucks.

    I have no advice for you, it just fucking sucks, y'know?

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's your problem. You are independent. Men want a women to be dependent on them. Stop focussing on a career and focus on what a guy wants and maybe you will find a decent one if they haven't already given up. Feminism kills!!!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like your independent but you also want to settle down. Guys your age want the opposite. I feel you though, you want quality not quantity.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You sound like a nice girl you will find one soon just be yourself and If i was 18 I would date you you sound like you have a wonderful personality

    1|0
    0|0
  • I agree with your mom. If things aren't wkrking as you thought. Then just let life take its course and itll all work out

    0|0
    0|0
  • You will have a guy that will come around and make you feel wanted and not just for sex there is more to a relationship then sex. Dont get me wrong sex is great but you will find someone

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dont worry it will happen for you the best part is u are being a leader instead of a follower can you can ask anybody on this site their first love their first crush the first guy they had sex with they probably haven't seen him in years and for the guys they probably haven't seen their first girl in years happy that you're absolutely gorgeous and I would bet you could get any guy you wanted when you want to I think you are independent I think you're strong and I think you will have what you want in time there's a reason for everything

    0|0
    0|0
  • Where are you meeting these guys? Where ever that is, it's a red flag.

    0|0
    0|0
  • How's your relationship with your father?

    0|0
    0|0
    • My father passed when I was 14.

  • maybe no sex rule is the problem

    0|0
    0|0
    • That is incredibly selfish to say and very shortsighted. Your honesty is good it shows your personality and character but it completely ignores the real issue here.

    • Show All
    • @Huragok what is seemingly

    • Are... Are you joking? I'm going to assume English isn't your first language and give you a pass.

  • most men can't get sex OR love so be grateful!!

    0|0
    0|0
  • A girl talking like this , I assume, to be a girl with inner beauty.

    Past is past

    1. develop self-respect
    2. get over these insecurities please.

    Somethinhs you should keep in mind while looking for true love
    Of course, you should examine the person

    You might not agree with me, but yes it's very necessary!

    1. refrain from sexual attachment with guys
    Don't do sex with men.
    You will see the positive results that I can't tell it now.
    This would improve your image in f
    Front of people

    2. Talk with guys , don't flirt
    If you give attention to men, there are chances that they won't be with you for long time
    as relationships don't require romance , sex as their only 'base'.

    3. Check if the person you like respects you or not!

    Always remember:

    Respect→ Love

    Respect can only develop love. He should have great respect for vyouthat, enough for him to stop fantasizing about sex

    He should not be able to fantacize anything more than romance

    4. Politeness in behaviour. Check for it

    5. Use your friends to know what he thinks about you

    6. Start dressing conservative and try to look attractive in those conservative clothes
    FLAUNT YOUR BODY (IF YOU WANT) ONLY IN GRONT OF THAT SPECIAL PERSON

    7. Stay away from sex if the special person asks for it

    In simple terms, make the person chase you..

    Don't express your personal feelings about him clearly, easily
    Give him clues

    Time does it's work automatically

    Give time , give time , give time

    Let the feelings grow

    Dont let the feelings of sexual attractions to grow too much

    Try to Get help from the person occassionally

    0|0
    0|0
  • ''I have no idea what vibe I'm giving off.''

    Until you know this, you won't know anything.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I’ve never been close to having a girlfriend so you have more experience than me. You are worth more than you think. I have very little self worth.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • Part 1: So sex is great and if u want to just hookup and get your kicks off nothing wrong with that- but if that is not what ur looking for u have to make it clear to all guys right away that u are looking for a committed relationship. If they are unwilling to get to know you and work towards that common goal then say bye and walk away. You also have to be okay with being alone (single).

    0|0
    0|0
    • Part 2:
      Honestly, I find it hard to find people who genuinely want to date and have a committed relationship- I struggle with this as well. (A lot of my friends they bounce from one relationship to another-I find it quite crazy). In today's world it's much easier finding a hook up rather than a partner.
      My advice is figure out what you want and need in a man. I'm very independent as well and can only give my future partner emotional support and that's what I desire back. - over the years I've been getting better at making my goals known and clearing discussing what I want and if they fall short or can't - I move on. Always comprises but never sell yourself short - ur worth more than that :)
      Hope this helps

  • You are still young

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...