(online dating, sort of... meeting up soon) Should I mention my weight?

I got to know this guy through a local community forum and now we have plans to meet up. We get along great and I like him quite a bit, but both of us haven't brought up exchanging pictures at all, or to even ask about physical traits.

I've insecurities about my appearance, especially my body. I wouldn't consider myself ugly but I'm a bit on the chubby side which I am very conscious of due to childhood bullying that worked horrors on my self-esteem. (I've been trying to boost it through going to the gym though...)

Anyways, I shouldn't care but it is what it is, and it makes me more nervous to meet up only to find out he doesn't like what he sees... I do enjoy talking to him so if the dating part doesn't work out then I'd like to remain friends, but due to our initial intentions I feel like he'd be put off continuing a friendship because it might be I don't know awkward? I don't know how guys' minds works (clearly).

So uh, do I mention my weight myself? And initiate exchanging photos before meeting up... Or should I take his silence on the topic as an indicator that he doesn't care about how I look?

Sorry for the ramble-y-ness and if my question/situation sounds rather annoying. I shouldn't fret over it but might as well get some input. Also, sorry if I got the topic wrong! I... wasn't sure where to put it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would ask to exchange photos anyway. Hard to meet someone you don't know how to look for. Don't mention weight. Chances are it's not an issue and you'll make it one if you mention it. Like... Why would she say unless she's huge? Exchanging pics gives him an opportunity to get out if he needs it. But your probably gorgeous so don't worry


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What Guys Said 4

  • If he hasn't brought up exchanging photos, there's a chance he's feeling some insecurity too. You should; physical attraction works both ways. To me, a huge part of what's sexy is self love and confidence. How sexy you feel is an important part of how sexy you seem. But I know it's hard to feel confident when you don't.

  • That should have been established before meeting in person, but yes exchange photos.

  • If he likes for what you are then he won't care about your weight

    • I disagree with that as a blanket statement. I've tried to date women who I absolutely enjoy, but for one reason or another wasn't attracted to. And it became an impass unfortunately.

  • You definitely want to exchange photos.


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