How do I pursue her "Slowly"?

I just want to get to know her. I'm not 100% if I want to take her on dates or not yet.. still figuring that out. We have been texting and stuff and talking about deep issues. I just don't want to lead her on BUT I also want to figure out If we are a match.. besides just having a crush.

Advice?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Tell her the truth and don't beat around the bush. Being honest with her is better than leading her on thinking you just want to be friends. However, it's best to start out as friends first without any other intention before you take that step. You must certainly don't want to get emotionally invested in somebody you're going to grow to hate because of mixed matched views. Especially concerning sex. Because that had always prevented me from dating many years ago because my views were not the views of a lot of secular boys.

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    • Yeah, she goes to my Church so I can relate to you a lot I bet. It's hard to get to know her at Church cause that is NOT my focus. And we have hung out in groups and stuff which is cool. She is very responsive to texts but It's hard to know how to gauge where I am at with this. And I feel like one on one's may escalate emotions quicker than is wise... That's my brain right now =P

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    • So do you think it is best to remain in group settings and to be talking over facebook? I talked to her brother in law about this and that's what he said and recommend I speak to her father before considering one on ones. But it's hard to get to know someone just by text/group hang outs.

      I am attracted to her and I really want to get to know her more. I don't feel flakey about this at all but I also desire to be prudent and patient to guard her heart.

    • You should overall speak to her regardless first before you speak to her dad because if you do that first, she will feel as if your plotting just to get to her. Don't do that. It is your business and hers. Overall, it is wise and respectful to speak to her parents, but you should tell her that you would like to personally get to know her as a person one on one. Naturally, you can't get to truly know them in group settings because you will only get to know them by only the things they personally want to share. So at least tell her. And then see what she thinks. If she thinks it's okay, then say that you would like to speak to her father since your interested in her. You want to at least be respectful about it. What matters is that your intentions are genuine and it's better to talk about them now than to waste time on it.

What Guys Said 1

  • That's the whole point in dating. To see if you're compatible to eachother.

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    • but is it too soon ask for a one on one? I would want to speak with her father before making that move (how things work around here) It feels like I'm jumping before really knowing her.. I just dont know the best way to figure this out

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