I've struggled to be with women I like or attracted because I believe there are negative perceptions of my dark skin which seems to put women off?


I've struggled to be with women I like or attracted because I believe there are negative perceptions of my dark skin which seems to put women off?
I’m in my late 20s and still single I'm completely burnt out and lack motivation to get involved in dating beacuse I feel my chances to find someone I like who also likes me is low in my current city/country due to my race and dark skin tone. I spent the last 6 years getting myself out there and trying to interact and date with women from many different backgrounds and women I'm attracted to but all my efforts were in vain as I was never liked enough for anything to go beyond a dating app conversation, first date or anything else I've tried, speed dating, interacting, dating apps, going on dates, being spontaneous, taking it slow its seems like beacuse I'm not only dark skin tone and black it seems to put women off.

I’ve never allowed my race or skin tone to discourage me in any area of life considering I've been through some up and downs in the past decade and I'm still standing, however it has effected me in dating and i've never been able to resolve this issue in my life so far.

I rarely get matched with women I truly like on dating apps, however I’ve been on dates and interacted with all types of women offline in the past and none of them went any further either, I’m just not seen as boyfriend material or liked enough and I'm not sure why. I have my strengths and faults but I feel at such a disadvantage its hard for anything positive to shine through the negatives perceptions.

I’m very close to considering moving abroad to have a fresh start in life, meet new people, new perspective, and hopefully restart my dating life with the hope of meeting someone, and most importantly be happy.

Its a shame I feel like I'm an open minded person and have tried to look at things from a world view when it comes to interacting with women but it just feels like I'm being discriminated for something I can't control or change, maybe it hasn't been the sole reason why I've been unsuccessful but I've interacted and dating a lot during those 6 years and nothing came out.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Every girl in my friend group has a very different taste in guys. I have a friend who only dates guys outside the city with the farmer vibe and I have friends that only date gangster types and friends that are only attracted to guys with darker skin. My point is we all have completely different taste so I guarantee that you’re somebody’s “perfect”. Don’t be discouraged just live and be happy and don’t dwell on the way you look because looks really aren’t everything and there’s girls out there who are guaranteed to love the way you look.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You know, regrettably, there is a stigma attached to color and race and honestly, you need to accept it, not fight it. You will come across people (not just Women), people in general, who will treat you otherwise because of it and that's okay, that's their choice. At the end of the day you need to go to bed knowing you weren't like them, and I know that's hard.

    When it comes to Women, it is a put off, no doubt BUT it is also a strong motivator because always remember not EVERY WOMAN IS THE SAME. Not all judge a book by its cover and your lucky, because if you were say female, most men do judge a book by its cover, generally speaking.
    So, don't give up, often when we give up the RIGHT person will walk on by and you will be none the wise. Don't try too hard, don't not be yourself, be who you want to be and eventually, nature will take its couse

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    • I hear you, and get what your saying.

      But to be honest after so many negative experiences I've simply feel like its a lost cause now in terms of where I live and really any hope that something can mac

      I've felt like I pushed myself and made some changes to my life that would surely make a difference and at the very least improve me and that in turn would make me more attractive to women I like and interacted with.

      I have no motivation left, so much time has been lost and opportunities wasted away, the rejections I can handle afterwhile but its the sense of feeling like I can't even take part in the race beacuse I'm being told I'm not good enough before I even have a chance to prove that I'am

      That is why I want to leave and this week I will make some life changing decisions beacuse if I dont do something I can't see a happy future. My whole life has been effected by this issue and never had the opportuntity to resolve or experience what I wanted. It is what it is

    • I too hear you man, do what you feel is best for your circumstance

      From the sounds of things the area in which your in is very racially controlled and it is best to make arrangements to move elsewhere, all the best with that, honestly
      Just remember that not all Women are the same and you would be doing yourself a dis-service to rob yourself of the opportunity to live a happy live, married and with a family (if you so choose).
      Life is tough, there will always be stigma, but in order to progress you need to look past it and on to the future.. HAVE GOALS, work tirelessly toward them and stop for nothing and no one.

  • Bottom line. Be yourself if you like a "kind" you should figure out why you have a "kind". Because it's a look you're interested in not a person. Beautiful is beautiful. It doesn't have a prescription. Maybe it's not the shade of your skin that puts them off, but the underline reason you think a prescribed look is more attractive then another. I would suggest work on yourself. Obtain higher values for yourself be the best kind of person you could be. And good and kind of women will be attracted to you with various looks. And maybe you'll find that prescription look that you're looking for or lose your prescription all together

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