Is sex important? When would you start sleeping with someone you are dating?

I was struck by the fact that, in an online dating app that asks people to answer and share responses to questions, there are a large percentage of folks Interested in becoming intimate early on in the dating relationship. This has not historically been me. However, upon reflection, I find my perspective changing. What do you think? How soon would you be intimate?
  • If I’m into them? First date
    Vote A
  • Probably after 2-4 dates
    Vote B
  • Somewhere between 5-7 dates
    Vote C
  • More than 7 dates
    Vote D
  • It’s not about the number of dates
    Vote E
  • Just show me the answers
    Vote F
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Whenever it's comfortable for you and that individual. its important but not as important as actually knowing and loving your mate. you can get sex from anywhere but a partner for life no. so I don't hold sex as highest priority although it's important to most men

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    • I agree that it’s not the most important aspect of a relationship. I’m finding it starting to play a larger role in my process of consideration, which quite, frankly bothers me. Recently, after a second date with someone, she was willing to become intimate because it was clear that’s what I wanted. I ended the date before that because I knew that wasn’t what she had wanted. Pragmatically, I want a lasting relationship and I don’t think I will get that with getting too physical too fast. Sigh. The complications of life.

    • You can some people become closer after being intimate

    • Omg thank you!!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Great question. Sex is very important. Without it, it is basically just a solid friendship. I have to be comfortable and confident with them, and takes some time. So I would be in the 7+ date range, but I don't think you need to wait months and months either. I would not want to investing a bunch of time and money into a relationship, while waiting for months and months to find out we are not sexually compatible and need to break up.

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    • What would be examples of sexual incompatibility that would result in a breakup of an otherwise good relationship? Desired frequency differences? Desired variety / position differences? Something else? I have not experienced incompatible - somethings better with one than other? Yes. But always enjoyable is some (several) manner.

    • Simple lingerie, oral sex, being open open to new positions, only wanting sex a couple times a month.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I started dating my boyfriend pretty early in high school and I was really nervous about it so I actually made him wait 5 months which feels crazy now but we were both virgins before so it was actually fine. We’ve been together almost three years now. If I were to end up single again I definitely wouldn’t wait that long like probably a few dates in? Whenever I just felt like it honestly I imagine it depends on the guy

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  • I slept with mu hubby on our very first date!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Some people prefer to wait til after marriage while some are just looking for a relationship not marriage personally I don’t feel like having sex until I’m married because imagine your both virgins the day you get married if you believe in not having premarital sex

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  • On the honeymoon, not before.

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    • I held the same position when your age. On my wedding night, my (now ex) wife spent a great deal of time telling me how her ex boyfriend was a big jerk and that she had been intimate with him. Frankly, I was in love and would have been okay with her mentioning that *before*. Talking about it literally right before we consummated our marriage both felt a bit shady (she had talked around this question before we got married, it became clear) and killed the mood.

      I thought at the time, saving yourself for “the person” was the right thing to do. I would not discourage anyone from doing that. My present position is that the right person is the right person, regardless of what challenges each of the couple has faced in the past. ... maybe that’s what being in your mid to late fourties brings one.

    • I wouldn't marry a non-virgin though, so no problems there.

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