Girls, why do I always fail trying to date a girl?

I´ve always been a shy guy but 3 weeks ago I asked a girl to go out with me for the first time in my life. She said no, but I was happy to ask her because I´m not shy anymore since then. I asked 6 more girls to go out with and they always refuse me. I have even tried dating apps and get no reactions at all. I can´t explain why. I always use parfume, my dress is casual, I´m a bit athletic and I am always polite. So could anyone please tell me what the hell is wrong with me?
Girls, why do I always fail trying to date a girl?by the way I started using the datingapp together with a friend. He already has several chats and one phonecall. Everything I got is frustration.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you! Girls love respectful guys! Just be yourself and God will lead you to the right girl. Just a little Faith can go a long ways! Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you! Just be friendly and talk to them for a couple of weeks then ask her out on a date.

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    • Thank you very much ^^ I realy appreciate what you tell me :) Yes I think I should become a friend for her first. That is something most girls here told me so I guess it has to be very important for you girls. And well I´m always respectful to every girl, but when I see a lot of male assholes out there I´m a bit confused. On the one side you tell me girls love respectful guys, on the other side those guys used to stuck in the friendzone while the players always get what they want. That´s realy confusing me

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What Girls Said 20

  • Hmm, you might be going about this the wrong way. My no1 advice for dating is date your best friend. Or at least someone at that level of friendship that you are open and comfortable enough with. Most girls dont want to date a guy they barely know, at least that's been my experience. Also, try not to attach your self worth to if girls want to date you, it will only make you miserable. Plus! The more comfortable you are with yourself and less insecure, the more attractive that is!

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    • That sounds logical. It´s just a bit hard to be comfortable with myself when I alway get refused lol. But I´ll try to do as you told me. thank you

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    • I will remember that next time I hear a "no". Thank you, I realy appreciate that.

    • Happy to help yo

  • Six more girls after three weeks? Sounds a bit too desperate. Girls usually can sense if guys do this kind if thing often. Maybe slow a little bit down, make some time for yourself to get interested in one person, then try from there?

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    • Yes I´m sure you are right. And ye I´m quit desperate lol. I just want somebody to cuddle and fall in love with. I never had something like that before so It´s like Christmas. You don´t want it to happen in 3 weeks, you want it to happen now. But I guess you are right so I will try to calm down a bit. thank you :)

    • no problem :)

  • The secret is to get to know girls first. Just general chat. You will soon find one that seem to be interested in you. She will smile whenever she sees you.

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    • Well I never thought about this. thank you. I will try it :)

    • There is also one other thing, which is not easy to do. I will explain how I met my guy over a year ago. A simple act that showed he was thinking about me. The second Monday morning at my new uni, I was sitting at my desk thinking about getting a cup of coffee. From nowhere, a hand put one in front of me, just how I like it. Strong, black and no sugar. He had spent some time watching how I did it. We spent the rest of that day talking. Four weeks later, I moved in with him. Still there now.

      Little acts of kindness go a long way.

    • that´s a realy nice story. <3 I´ll watch out for the little things. It reminds me on the butterfly effect.

  • Do you maybe come off as a bit fake? Or come on too strong? Maybe you're giving off a vibe like you don't care which girl you go out with, you just will ask out anyone who fits a basic standard.

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    • too strong? In which way do you mean that? Well, I also have standards ^^ I want a cute girl with a good hear and a beautiful smile. She doen´t have to be a model but she should be attractive to me. That´s everything she has to fit in just by her look.

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    • I get that. But you'll have better results by just going out living your life and connecting organically with people who genuinely pique your interest.

    • Yes I think you are right. It makes me sad but I guess I don´t have a choice do I? Thank you, I appreciate that and will try to do so :)

  • Nothing is wrong with you. Maybe try to befriend with them first and try to know them better. God surely saved one woman for you in your life. Good luck!

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    • It's realy good to hear that 😍 Yes I realy hope so. I just want a lovely, cute girl to cuddle with and who can love my like I am. I can't realy await it. I've been alone for so long now so it's hard for me to wait any longer and become friends first but if that's the only way to get what I'm looking for, I will do so. Thank you :)

  • Make friends with them and get to know them, then ask them out.

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    • Is it just me or does this actually sound a little bit evil? But thanks :) I should try to figure out how to become friends first ^^

    • haha no its not evil, it feels amazing to date someone who is a friend first because it is less awkward

    • Well that seems logical to me ^^ by the way do you have an advise for me about how to become a girls friend? Like that version of a friend you told me. :)

  • The same reason many girls fail trying to date guys. You might've struggled finding the right person for you, but there's nothing wrong with that. Don't think you need to change yourself because you sound like a decent guy trying to come out of the shadows. You gained courage to ask a girl out, and I applaud you for that. Some girls can be picky and judgmental, which is how I am with food (no soda, no eggs, no beans, etc.) Try other dating apps, if you're still interested in meeting someone, or get a wingman to help you out.

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    • Thank you :) Well I am a decent guy but I think I´m a little bit too decent lol. Even my mom tells me that she was crazier than me -.- Ye I defenitly should. I have one good friend and I think he could help me as a wingman lol. I feel like if I were in How I met your mother. I never thought about getting a wingman before.

  • First things first there might not be anything wrong with you but the girls themselves some girls can be very picky and judgmental. Just a tip yes you can be respectful when approaching or asking a girl but dont become pushy or to aggressive

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    • thank you :) I´m always polite to other people, especially girls. Even when I get refused I don´t say anything mean. That´s just not part of my nature.

  • Nothing is wrong with you. You just haven't found someone who's seen the real you. Stay polite and stay hopeful, you'll find your girl.

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    • Thank you ^^ I always stay polite and when I read all those positiv, kind answers here, I think I can keep the hope :)

    • 👍💫keep it up

  • You asked 6 girls out? That literally means you’re just randomly asking them out without actually establishing a foundation first.

    This is the #1 mistake ALL guys do I swear. They see a pretty girl, and immediately she’s dating material. Then, they fall in love and the girl cheats on them.

    Before randomly asking girls out, you need to establish a foundation. Get to know them first (without asking them on a date). Show interest, show that you care about their day and their lives. THEN, if you think she has a good enough personality, ask her out.

    The chances of her saying yes boost dramatically.

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    • And if I see a cute girl and would like to become friends with here, how do I do that? What shall I say?

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    • Thank you ^^ well yoi girls are all so super nice to me so I see it as an opportunity to learn something :)

    • by the way you give good advice so I would like to follow and learn from you, if I'm allowed to do so. Would that be ok for you? :)

  • It might not be you. maybe it's the types of girls you're interested in. i mean do u have a specific type you go for?

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    • And you mentioned no match on tinder so what's your type?

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    • No but I will. Sounds interesting enough to check it out ^^ but I will have to sleep now first :) its already 2 am and I am really tired. I hope to write with you tomorrow :)

    • No way lol goodnight

  • Chill! It seems like you are in a race mentally, trying to rush too much, appearing to be desperate...

    In three weeks time you managed to ask 7 girls, that's 3 days per girl. Maybe instead of confessing multiple times to any pretty girl you see, try investing time and effort for one special girl.

    Trust me, girls can tell if they are not being taken seriously, and just being played around or not. You need to try to make them actually fall for you, how else would they accept your confession.

    Love is not a race. You have a whole lifetime of chances ahead of you! :)

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    • Ye I also feel like if I were in a race -.- I would love to invest more time in one special girl but how can I do that if every conversation I start ends with an nope? How can I become a friend of a girl?

    • Simple. You become friends with a girl who you initially don’t have intentions of dating.

      Trust me on this

    • So I should become friend of a girl where I actually think she is ugly?

  • Nothing is wrong with u you just haven't found a girl who likes u for u there will be someone for you

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    • Thank you :) It´s just a bit tricky to find that girl. I don´t even have an idea where I can find here.

  • I have dated a shy guy but I not going back to that road again. Just be yourself around girl/woman.

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    • Well I´m still the guy I was before just more confident. by the way did you make bad experiences with the shy guy?

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    • thanks but you can always private message if want to

    • That´s really kind of you :) I will send you a message :)

  • maybe you aim to girls out of your league?

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    • Maybe you could tell me in with league am I? by the way meanwhile I found a girl and for me she is in the highest league possible.

  • Maybe you seen too clingy?

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    • Well, I just said "Hey, wanna go out with me and drink some coffee?" I´m not sure what should be clingy about it :/ But I instantly get a "No." by the way the best I got was a "No, sorry. I have a boyfriend."

  • You just haven't found the right person yet

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    • I hope you are right. That would mean my dreamgirl is still somewhere out there *_*

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    • I can´t promise ^^ you´re just too adorable

    • Awwwwww thanks

  • You're probably ugly or fat. Or both. Sorry.

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  • Maybe they are just really piky

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    • probably yes. The girls here in town are a little bit piky I guess. Are they different in othere places on the world?

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    • well maybe I should travel a bit then :) thank you :)

    • MO problems

  • I would think it's the girls that have their heads in their asses if you aren't lying. That's the type of man i'd love! So long as your scent isn't too strong

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    • hahaha it´s good to hear that ^^ no I always use parfume discreet :)

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