I’m dating someone my parents don’t want me to date (sorry to be racist below)?

ever since i was little my dad has taught me racism and stuff like that. now i’m dating a black guy (my father doesn’t know and if he did, he would “throw me out”) now my boyfriend wants to meet my parents and I don't know what to do, bc i don’t want him thinking that my dad hates him just for his religion

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry you have to deal with this. But I think you have to tell your boyfriend the truth. What is your long-term plan? Your boyfriend doesn't have to meet your parents, but at some point I expect you will have to tell them that you are seeing a black guy. Good luck.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm black, and I know for a fact that their are a lot of great black guys. Black is not a religion, it's a race. You should stand your ground and tell your dad how you feel about him. Or you could just tell you boyfriend that your dad does not like him because of his race, but that's not gonna change the way you feel about hm.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • You've got to fully explain the situation to your boyfriend- he has to know, but you can't tell your parents about him. He won't be happy, but he'll probably understand why he can't meet your parents.

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  • Im a black male an we think that's why a lot of white women don't want to date us because of what other family members or y'all race would think about if y'all were to do date a black man... Gotta live your life... You only get one shot! As long as you not in any danger an your happy your dad should be happy an comfortable... I wish you the best!!!

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  • What I never understand is when parents are strongly against their kid dating a particular kind of person (regardless or what race, religion, or whatever it is), at some point that person is a stranger. But who is really that dumb and disloyal, knowing that they will lose their family, they still try to get to know and get attached to someone, that at one point meant nothing to them.
    Those kinds of people very much deserve to lose their family for having absolutely no loyalty.

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    • About the second point. I'd say it might not be disloyalty but only different morals.
      If my dad would think a person is less just because of the colour of their skin, I would not agree with him. There is no way I would agree with that way of thinking.

    • @Nukina Agree with it or not, would you risk losing your family over a stranger?

  • Okay, so you know that what your dad has taught you is wrong, correct? So then if you're saying you know what's right, then do what's right. What's right takes courage, and won't always make you comfortable, but it's what needs to be done at times. Good luck.

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  • 🔊ever since i was little, ever since i was little it looked like fun, but there was something about that daaaaay, even my emotions have a let go.,
    sorry i had to sing it

    advice:
    record your father saying racist stuff and when your boyfriend says he wants to see your parents show it to him, tell him you love him a lot and that you dont care about color and hug him

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  • This is what happens when you betray your race. Your dad raised you right and you still betray him. If you were my daughter I would have disowned you and never talk to you again.

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  • If you were my daughter, you would become dead to me... forever.

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    • Wow. That's dumb.

    • Show All
    • I will offer one, on IQ.
      Herrenstein & Murray 1994. The Bell Curve, Simon & Schuster, New York, NY.

    • You're the one making erroneous claims, and then claiming those claims are backed by scientific research; you then tell the person saying you're likely mistaken that *they* need to do the research? You're the one trying to prove something.

      Anyway, I'll take a look at the one you did list.

  • Be honest and upfront with him. You aren't the racist one so hopefully he will be understanding of t he older generations?

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  • Be honest dude lol
    Stop lying to him

    Thats not fair. Id be honest with my girlfriend if that was the case

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  • Anon, if you love your boyfriend, love him. Racism is bull@#$! If dad doesn't like him that's his brain and racism crap.

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  • Bad idea of dating first of all just be ready for any consequences n go ahead tell ur parents thyself only way

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  • I'm sorry, but what exactly are you asking here?

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    • no clue i’m just confused hahha

  • Show him your parents

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  • Why would you date a black guy?

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  • Than dont tell them for long as possible

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  • Tell him why he can't. He'll understand. Or not.

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  • so you're doing it out of spite, basically

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  • Black is not a religion

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    • you know what i mean lmao

What Girls Said 12

  • ... Being black is a religion now? What?

    I'd say just tell him the truth either way.

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  • Your boyfriend deserves to know the reason why you don't want him to meet your parents. It will hurt, but he will understand your reason.
    As for your dad, you know his views are wrong, which is good. You may just have to hide it until you are able to live on your own. You could try to confront him but racists aren't the most compromising people so it may get ugly.

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  • wow... you should have already warned your boyfriend about this...

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  • What religion is your dad? I haven't heard any religion that hated black people before.

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    • he just thinks there bad people...

    • Oh okay so he's just racist lol. You should probably talk to your boyfriend about that. no one one deserves to be in the dark about it. The result will be worst if you wait to long and he ends up think that you're ashamed of him. And when Christmas comes around and he wants to go to your family's house. What are you going to do then?

  • I would recommend to be honest w him. If you’re happy w him and see a future w him, fight for your love. If you let it go, sooner or later you’ll regret it. Best of luck !

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  • Just introduce your boyfriend to your mom and leave your dad out. your dad is choosing to be an obstacle so. o well

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  • tell him my boyfriend mom is a racist bitch aand his dad isn't

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  • Didn`t know being black was a religion...

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  • tell your boyfriend that you have a racist father

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  • I don't really care about black people dating.

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  • I would break it to him easily. You have to be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him that your parents don’t really know of your relationship with him and unfortunately they wouldn’t approve. Tell him that for the time being you’ll have to hang out somewhere else but you really want to be with him and your views are not the same as your parents’. In time though, you’ll have to come clean eventually, or they’ll find out anyway

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  • Agreed black isn’t a religion

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