How To Get My Mom To Accept That I'm Dating A Black Girl?

So 8 months ago me and this beautiful, kind, and loving friend of mine (who is black) started dating because we found out both of us liked each other. For around 4 or 5 months we kept it a secret from my mom (who is white... and racist) but about 3 months ago my mom found out we were dating and she threw a f*cking fit over it. She told me that she doesn't believe that whites and blacks should mix and that i needed to break up with her. So i did the thing that most people would do and not listen to what my mom says and continue dating this girl because i believe that she is the one for me and i'm deeply in love with her and i don't ever want to lose her. but we used to be able to hang out with other friends all the time because my mom believed that we were just friends. The way my mom found out was that I fell asleep texting my girlfriend and the phone stayed unlocked and my mom was able to get into it and see that we were talking about sex and other sexual things that we didn't do but were just talking about and she also went into my pictures and saw pictures of my girlfriend in her bra and underwear. Moral of this story is that my girlfriend wants to find a way to hang out again without telling my mom we're dating and i want to too but i just want help with how to do it and if i should or shouldn't tell my mom.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yikes. This is obviously difficult because you're young and depend on your mother.

    Is there anyone else in your family that you could speak to? Or even a counsellor at school who may be able to talk to your mother about her racism?

    I can't imagine how difficult this is, but I would encourage you to stay strong and attemp to change your mothers attitude. Also, be honest with your girlfriend about it.

    • I've spoken to my cousin and her girlfriend about it. My girlfriend knows everything that happened and so do her parents because my mom told them.

    • Show All
    • My cousin and her girlfriend told me to just do what I wanted because it's my life to live not my mom's or anyone else's.

      Her parents took it well because they understood and believed us that nothing ever happened unlike my mom.

    • Well i think that good advice. Your mum will realise she just has to get used to it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell her there is nothing wrong with it, intermixing the races actually creates an even better race , and also it’s the 21st century and to stop with the racism

    • I've tried but I don't believe she understands because she was raised like that and she's part of an older generation that thought differently than the newer generations. And you're exactly right about making an even better race and I hope to do that with my girlfriend now.

    • Well it’s going to be tuff but try to hang in there, try to just stay Friends with her until you’re old enough where she can’t tell you who you can date

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What Girls Said 1

  • You are 15 and still live at home so it will be difficult for you to hide it. I'm sorry about your situation. My advice would be to stay close friends, and then when you move out and you guys still want to date, date then. I know that its probably not what you wanted to hear, but your options are kinda limited and i doubt you'll be able to change mom's mind.


What Guys Said 2

  • Your mom is right. Interracial marriages between whites and blacks are the most likely to divorce

  • Your mom is right, you'll probably get aids


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