Three guys I've been interested in told me I'm only someone they can have fun with because of where I am in life. How can I stop feeling so shitty?

I'm in school and I stay with my family. I don't have a lot of money because I can't work too much. I can't exactly turn my situation around over night but I am trying to make myself better.

I'm thinking about stopping trying to date for a while and cutting guys off period. I feel like I'm only good enough for sex and as a distraction from life's problems (which one of them dis describe as).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be fair I agree that you should stop and take stock of your life.

    A critical look at where you are and where they are.

    You are in school.

    This means your not ready to start a family. (Hear me properly I didn't say your not allowed to start a family). That's what a serious relationship is about. And a family does not mean children or a dog and/or cats.

    A family is you and your chosen spouse. Dating/flings is what you do between now and then.

    You would be smart not to sleep with men until you are ready to start a famiky because you greatly increase your chances of living in poverty if you have children before you have your career.

    So if these men are in school they know a relationship is not where they are at, if they are done school they know you are not ready for life after school yet.

    This isn't a bad thing but it also doesn't mean they are using you. It just means they know the situation and you're playing on another field without the proper equipment.

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    • I hate dating/flings. I want love. I want someone to actually care about me. I can't get that from dating.

    • You may find a boy who is also interested in the same thing but in doing so reduce both of your likelihood at finishing school.

      Is this feeling worth losing all the years you put into getting where you are now?

      I'm wasting my time telling you this... I was young also and did what your doing now. Wasted my education and took me many extra years to dig out of it. Had I waited and finished school properly I would be further ahead now.

      You will do as you do. My advise is to dig hard into your studies get that education and your career then find a boy who's got his head on straight also.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you need to step back and do a re-take about what kind of guys you’re interested in. No one who really cares should be like that, although it would be wise to consider if you have time and emotional ability to maintain a relationship in this time of your life.

    Every guy is not like that.

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What Guys Said 25

  • Well, you need to meet guys who respect and appreciate you. Main thing is finishing your studies, so that should be your primary focus.

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  • You haven't described what your "situation" is but if you are in a bit of a rut or a crisis in your life right now you should probably not worry about relationships for a bit and get yourself out of this rut to where you are at a more stable place... then devote time and energy to dating.

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  • I blasted Thur that crap and had to hurry bc I was doing what I want going to college for as a side freelance... wait.. yes that why I left. Stop letting me participating with groups bc "I was teaching them bad studying habits" but we're done like 30min.. well Griffin we still got 7hr to go" and now you just told or showed 5 other classmates how to skim for info and not read or you showed them where answers were to questions now they don't want to read.. "mmm you should ask new books I read this in middle school..".. and arms crossed... here it comes preceded by eyebrows..."even if i could please you that dept forwards to get those are yet answered." "Your books take just fine for the job." "Mmmm (<---my smartness too many people offered themselves up for stupid by clear present done to, or lame efforts in word flow or poorly ones growth in imagination dept forwards the same sentence structure from the same repeaters 8 commercials take on cable...) mmm" I look down little, he "want to go home?" "Not really, member hour... every... time u... library?" "Mmmumm".. so that was my thoughts on work competent enough I made alone time, leads to disruptive when you mess in lab, or spent my 54k in a library.. the free one had more stuff... but yes if you find of passionate by want to in any mood, they've played with it all, or those guys that swap printers out all day and Safeway biggest client, that just ip coupon printers.

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  • If you give sex without a relationship. then that is what you will have. What you describe, school and living at home, should not be a reason to not have a relationship. You have the wrong guys, or you are somehow signaling that you are good for sex, without needing to put anything else into the relationship. You control what happens to your body, you control who you are in a relationship with and who you have sex with. Take control.

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  • What is wrong with that? Sex and distractions from life's problems is two great things. Now maybe your are attracting not the best people and i don't know what but you are doing that to yourself. If you only attract that kind of people is because something that you do... So stop dping that. What i can tell you is: focus entirely on you and become prettier day by day and a better men will come

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  • Date a better class of guys, for one. Any guy that says that is fishing to see if he can make you into a friends with benefits, instead of becoming attached. Kick them directly to the curb, if that's not what you want. And remember; the thing they all have in common is YOU. Are you picking them from among your fellow students? Well, duh, then! They're basically in the same boat you are; unable to handle a relationship because they're students, not working full-time, etc.

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  • Don't give yourself away so fast! That is why it is good to wait for marriage! Try and forgive yourself and let them go, they used you and that is bad on them. I hope you can feel better, knowing that at least you caught yourself from being used any longer

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  • Listen carefully... whilst they have said they would only be interested in you for fun, because of where you're at in life, they lied. It's because of where they are at... typical fuck boys

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  • Stop putting so much stock in the opinions of people who aren't equally invested in you.
    If you're trying to make positive and meaningful changes, good for you! Keep at it. Good things come to those who are willing to work for it.

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  • You are accountable for your choices. No one else is to blame but yourself. Own your actions. Maybe should try think your actions and its consequences... Unless your a woman.. Then it's everybody else's fault... You're welcome.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe instead of quitting the dating scene you could try to date a different kind of people. Where did you find these assholes anyways? Try searching for a possible partner elsewhere, perhaps try dating a little older than your age to find men that are more serious and experienced.

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  • Consider yourself lucky cuz most guys won’t be truthful about this. They’ll have fun and throw you away when finished.

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  • Maybe it's just those guys. Not every guy is like that.

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