How do I break up with this guy?

We been together for about 7 mos and I'm just not feeling it. He's so good to me and perfect but it's not there for me. I'm in love with someone else. I feel awful. I'm suppose to be hanging out with this other guy I've had feelings for forever this weekend and I need to break up with him because I don't want to cheat! I feel so guilty either way!!! Is it bad to do it over text? I don't want to hear his voice and put him in the spot over the phone or in person.


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What Guys Said 27

  • Doesn't matter how good he is to you. "Not feeling it" is a fine reason to break up. Just say "Look, I'm sorry but I've met someone else and I'm going to pursue it. Nothing you did wrong, I'm just not feeling it anymore. Good luck." Maybe I'm weird but I don't really see why this has to be done face-to-face.

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    • 6d

      You're right. I just ended it! He's taking it pretty well so I don't feel as bad.

    • 6d

      He probably already knew that it wasn't going to happen with you. Good luck with the new guy.

  • Have enough respect for him and yourself to do it in person. If you wanna be super kool, call or text a friend or family member of his to meet him immediately after you talk. That way you can scram and he's got a shoulder to cry on once you're gone. By the by, if you made a date with another chap before you broke up with him, that IS cheating. Or maybe that's just me.

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    • 6d

      It is cheating but I need to end it asap before it got serious you know? I wasn't going to ignore the love of my life! Lol

  • just do it. he will get over you eventualy and you will get to pursue your happyness. staying with him will just make both of you miserable.

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    • 6d

      Have you ever had to do This? Did you feel bad or regret it?

    • 6d

      sure. you will feel bad at first ( days.. maybe weeks) but it's nothing compared to feeling miserable and unhappy even ending up hating the person for who knows how long.. maybe your whole life.

    • 6d

      That's true!

  • Good on you for not cheating! You should do it in person. Don't be a total fucking asshole and do it through texts, karma will bite you if you do it that way. Just tell him that you just don't see him the way you used to.

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    • 6d

      Thanks! He's a great guy and I know how heartbreaking it is to get cheated on I couldn't imagine or understand how people do it. I felt so guilty just having feelings for someone else. The heart wants what it wants and I can't help it. I just ended it with him tho just now and he's taking it pretty well

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    • 6d

      I never did feel a spark. I mean I liked him but was never head over heels you know? Everyone kept telling me to give it time so I did but i mean it's been 7 mos and still nothing. I just can't keep dragging it on to the point where I'm miserable.

    • 6d

      I feel ya. You can't fake passion. It's either there or it's not.

  • No. It's not OK to break up with someone over text. Break up with the guy. Be direct, be honest, and walk away. Either that, or just stick with him and forget about that other guy. You have to make a choice and live with the consequences. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

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  • It's hard to do, but I'd say maybe go meet him at his place or invite him to your place or even go to a different location and explain it to him kind of like this post except don't mention you like someone else

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    • 6d

      I just did it over text. It's going okay I guess. I sure as hell wouldn't let someone else do my dirty business lol

    • 6d

      Or do that lol I'm not sure how I feel on that way

  • You need to break up in person. He will be sad and cry and whimper but he will find someone else. If you love him then you want the best for him and sometimes you may not be the best if you're in love with someone else

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  • Well you should break up in person. That way he'll know he wasted 7 months and that you aren't worth the effort. So both of you can move on. And when the lust you have for this person is gone. You won't find someone you don't have feelings for to open up to.

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    • 6d

      Yeah I only have lust for this guy.

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    • 6d

      Well what i mentioned should make 1 of 2 easier. Either bettering the relationship you have now by passion and patience. Or leaving this current relationship. But know this, there is no guarantee you may come back, and no guarantee the other guy will share your feelings.

    • 6d

      Update me on what you will do. But give yourself an hour of pure thought. Because giving away what you have and hoping you'll get the same from another place is really crazy.

  • The best thing to do is to explane how you feel say your sorry I'd didn't work out and hope you can be friends

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  • My girlfriend just left me I was also a keeper and a perfect boyfriend to her and she ignored me and finally dumped me 3 weeks later after I blew her phone up so just do it over text cause my ex left me weeks later and I was having all kinds of things running in my mind and it Emotional killed me and I wish she would have just told me from the start.. by the way why would u turn down a perfectly guy? And did u met someone else before him or during relationship?

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    • 6d

      I have a past with this other man before we started dating. I didn't think it was going any where so I moved on. 7 mos have went by and I don't feel it with this guy. And the man I'm in love with has been messaging me. I just ended it tho and he's taking it pretty well so it's not that bad.

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    • 6d

      Wasting my brain cells. lol. And I have accepted the fact my girlfriend left me your trying to find a Reason to blame me for being correct but you should know what you did had no integrity and I'm glad he is staying in tact and acting fine and mature about it

    • 6d

      You overlook everything i said your might be a good person but not once have u accepted what u did for 7 months it was a waste of your time and his and your completly in denial about your roll with 7 month guy... But congrats Sleep girl was right I wish she jumped in to drill you too

  • Send a giftcard and say you moved to Alaska.

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  • Text dumping Is the newest low for someone to stoop down.. meet somewhere public, make it quick fast and to the point and go...

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  • Tell him in person or never date again. If you can't give him the respect of face to face then you are not a good person. Text breakup people deserve a special place in hell

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  • Tell him you need to move on

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  • Doing it over text could work but honestly that's a shit thing to do makes it seem he not important enough to bother with. Do it in person and be honest he may feel like shit afterwards but it will make it easier on him to deal with the feelings he has

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    • 6d

      I dont understand why over text is bad? Like I can't imagine the look on his face explaining that to him and then him being embarrassed because he cried or something. I just ended it through text.

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    • 6d

      @oni11 exactly what happened to me, about a month ago, it's such a shiut way to let someone go, and it leaves us confused wondering what we did wrong, and trying to contact them is just seen as a desperate plead. It's really low of them to do it like that.

    • 6d

      Why did you bother asking if everyone said don't do it over text and you did anyways

  • Just think about what makes you happy

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  • Just do it asap and don't waste his time. Be fully honest and it'll be the best for both of you.

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  • Do NOT do it over text, that's super low. Tell him in person. And don't slowly ghost him out of the situation like my girlfriend did, straight up tell him in person.

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  • The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

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  • Nike...

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  • Commitment issues eh? You do you

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    • 6d

      I don't have problems commitming!! Lol I just don't have feelings For him. I'd rather commit to the man I'm in love with. I feel awful because I know this guy likes me a lot and he's super sensitive.

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    • 6d

      I'm sure you didn't. That's how commitment issues work

    • 6d

      You're right.

  • ... fish love...

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  • Hey dude, leave him just tell him or introduce your frend to him and u can roll on.

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  • Do it in person but with someone else around. Otherwise he might beg or try to persuade you otherwise not point wasting his time or if you do it by text he will go into a depression probably

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  • Do it face to face in a public area it's not like he's going to kill you. Trust me he's going to appreciate it later on in life. I had girls do that over text or someone else telling them for me it pissed me off that she didn't told me sooner.

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  • What's even sadder? the fact that the new guy is no different to the old one, it's just your ego needing different food...

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  • so basically you were having a guy "friend", while you were having a boyfriend, which means you were cheating, since you like him

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    • 6d

      No me and this guy hadn't talked in months. I dodmnt think it was going any where. I was moving on and he recently messaged me again.

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    • 6d

      i think you just like the attention, you cheated

    • 6d

      My problem is, is that I am in love with someone else. That's it. I can't help it. Attention is the last thing on my mind. I need to do what's best for me!

What Girls Said 8

  • If you end it face-to-face I wouldn't do it in a public place. That's cruel. It'll be humiliating for him.

    Personally, i'd rather someone tell me they were ending their relationship with me either over the phone or via text. I'd feel they'd wasted my time by arranging to meet up just to tell me it's over. That's pretty harsh.

    After you tell him, he'll either walk away upset or sit on his own feeling emotional. It's best to be on your own to deal with the hurt of a breakup. He may not want you to see how hurt he is

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  • Breaking up with someone over text is basically the cowards way out. No one ever wants to hurt someone who loves them, but after 7 months he deserves a face to face. Just curious though... what is it about this new guy that makes you think you'd have a better relationship with him? If you already have someone who treats you so well, why ruin that? I think the only reason you've lost those feelings is because you allowed a new man into your life. How well do you know this man? Does he know you already have a boyfriend? He may end up hurting you and you may end up regretting leaving someone who truly loves you behind.

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    • 6d

      The man that I am in love with I went to high school with. We've hung out and have texted each other and what not. I've always had a crush on him was just never forward about it. And I don't think that just because someone treats you well means you have To stay with them. If you're not happy you're not happy you can't dal love and passion.

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    • 6d

      I've always been happy with him. Just not in love you know? I think he'd be better as a friend honestly.

    • 6d

      Understandable. I'd hate to be in your shoes right now though. Always hated that part of dating. Seems the more you want them, the less interested they are... the more you're not feeling it, the more they want you. Classic "always want what you can't have".

  • Have a talk with him about it. It's difficult, and there may be a lot of drama ish feelings, but you must keep your cool. It's normal to live through breakups, seeing as it's near impossible to stay with one partner for a lifetime. Everyone appreciates it more to break up in person rather than through a text.

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  • In person is always best. Just explain that he's an amazing person, but you feel the relationship has run its course. Breakups are never easy, so it'll be emotional, but it needs to be done.

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  • Its better to do it in person , I've been through been that but it was online and I realised that I only enjoyed him better as a friend not like a boyfriend , we were together for about a few weeks , he wasn't mad, he said if that's what I want then so be it.

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  • Sure, make it easy on yourself. Seems more acceptable these days.

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    • 6d

      But I want to be happy and in love

    • 6d

      I didn't mean it like that. I mean it's ok to break up through text these days. Go be with the one you want. Of course it's about your happiness.

  • Tell him. Shame on you for stringing him along... you need to be more decisive and assertive.

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    • 6d

      I didn't intentionally do this! I thought I'd be in love by now but I'm not! I didn't think things would work out with this other guy I've had feelings for but he's been messaging me

  • It would be a good idea to talk to your boyfriend before this weekend, otherwise that would make the situation worse. Please don't break up with him over text. That is possibly the worst way to do it. You need to do it face to face as hard as it is. It's not going to be pretty but breaking up with him via text is just heartless

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    • 6d

      you're right but I did it over text anyway. I feel like putting him on the spot like that randomly would be worse. I would hate to see him cry or something. Just awkward.

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    • 6d

      But he would probably be embarrassed if he cried in front of me or had an awkward look on his face. So no not really.

    • 6d

      That's what I had in mind.

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