How do I break up with this guy?

We been together for about 7 mos and I'm just not feeling it. He's so good to me and perfect but it's not there for me. I'm in love with someone else. I feel awful. I'm suppose to be hanging out with this other guy I've had feelings for forever this weekend and I need to break up with him because I don't want to cheat! I feel so guilty either way!!! Is it bad to do it over text? I don't want to hear his voice and put him in the spot over the phone or in person.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Doesn't matter how good he is to you. "Not feeling it" is a fine reason to break up. Just say "Look, I'm sorry but I've met someone else and I'm going to pursue it. Nothing you did wrong, I'm just not feeling it anymore. Good luck." Maybe I'm weird but I don't really see why this has to be done face-to-face.

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    • You're right. I just ended it! He's taking it pretty well so I don't feel as bad.

    • He probably already knew that it wasn't going to happen with you. Good luck with the new guy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Breaking up with someone over text is basically the cowards way out. No one ever wants to hurt someone who loves them, but after 7 months he deserves a face to face. Just curious though... what is it about this new guy that makes you think you'd have a better relationship with him? If you already have someone who treats you so well, why ruin that? I think the only reason you've lost those feelings is because you allowed a new man into your life. How well do you know this man? Does he know you already have a boyfriend? He may end up hurting you and you may end up regretting leaving someone who truly loves you behind.

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    • The man that I am in love with I went to high school with. We've hung out and have texted each other and what not. I've always had a crush on him was just never forward about it. And I don't think that just because someone treats you well means you have To stay with them. If you're not happy you're not happy you can't dal love and passion.

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    • I've always been happy with him. Just not in love you know? I think he'd be better as a friend honestly.

    • Understandable. I'd hate to be in your shoes right now though. Always hated that part of dating. Seems the more you want them, the less interested they are... the more you're not feeling it, the more they want you. Classic "always want what you can't have".

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What Guys Said 26

  • No. It's not OK to break up with someone over text. Break up with the guy. Be direct, be honest, and walk away. Either that, or just stick with him and forget about that other guy. You have to make a choice and live with the consequences. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

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    • I just ended it with him. But omg forget about the other guy? No way. I'm in love with him lol

    • Oh. OK. Good luck to all 3 of you.

  • Have enough respect for him and yourself to do it in person. If you wanna be super kool, call or text a friend or family member of his to meet him immediately after you talk. That way you can scram and he's got a shoulder to cry on once you're gone. By the by, if you made a date with another chap before you broke up with him, that IS cheating. Or maybe that's just me.

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    • It is cheating but I need to end it asap before it got serious you know? I wasn't going to ignore the love of my life! Lol

  • It's hard to do, but I'd say maybe go meet him at his place or invite him to your place or even go to a different location and explain it to him kind of like this post except don't mention you like someone else

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    • I just did it over text. It's going okay I guess. I sure as hell wouldn't let someone else do my dirty business lol

    • Or do that lol I'm not sure how I feel on that way

  • Good on you for not cheating! You should do it in person. Don't be a total fucking asshole and do it through texts, karma will bite you if you do it that way. Just tell him that you just don't see him the way you used to.

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    • Thanks! He's a great guy and I know how heartbreaking it is to get cheated on I couldn't imagine or understand how people do it. I felt so guilty just having feelings for someone else. The heart wants what it wants and I can't help it. I just ended it with him tho just now and he's taking it pretty well

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    • I never did feel a spark. I mean I liked him but was never head over heels you know? Everyone kept telling me to give it time so I did but i mean it's been 7 mos and still nothing. I just can't keep dragging it on to the point where I'm miserable.

    • I feel ya. You can't fake passion. It's either there or it's not.

  • Doing it over text could work but honestly that's a shit thing to do makes it seem he not important enough to bother with. Do it in person and be honest he may feel like shit afterwards but it will make it easier on him to deal with the feelings he has

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    • I dont understand why over text is bad? Like I can't imagine the look on his face explaining that to him and then him being embarrassed because he cried or something. I just ended it through text.

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    • @oni11 exactly what happened to me, about a month ago, it's such a shiut way to let someone go, and it leaves us confused wondering what we did wrong, and trying to contact them is just seen as a desperate plead. It's really low of them to do it like that.

    • Why did you bother asking if everyone said don't do it over text and you did anyways

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What Girls Said 7

  • Have a talk with him about it. It's difficult, and there may be a lot of drama ish feelings, but you must keep your cool. It's normal to live through breakups, seeing as it's near impossible to stay with one partner for a lifetime. Everyone appreciates it more to break up in person rather than through a text.

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  • Its better to do it in person , I've been through been that but it was online and I realised that I only enjoyed him better as a friend not like a boyfriend , we were together for about a few weeks , he wasn't mad, he said if that's what I want then so be it.

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  • In person is always best. Just explain that he's an amazing person, but you feel the relationship has run its course. Breakups are never easy, so it'll be emotional, but it needs to be done.

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  • Tell him. Shame on you for stringing him along... you need to be more decisive and assertive.

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    • I didn't intentionally do this! I thought I'd be in love by now but I'm not! I didn't think things would work out with this other guy I've had feelings for but he's been messaging me

  • If you end it face-to-face I wouldn't do it in a public place. That's cruel. It'll be humiliating for him.

    Personally, i'd rather someone tell me they were ending their relationship with me either over the phone or via text. I'd feel they'd wasted my time by arranging to meet up just to tell me it's over. That's pretty harsh.

    After you tell him, he'll either walk away upset or sit on his own feeling emotional. It's best to be on your own to deal with the hurt of a breakup. He may not want you to see how hurt he is

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