Guys, is it a problem for you to date a woman who earns more money than you?

I’m financially in a good place. I’m dating this guy who I like very much...

But I think he can’t keep up with my lifestyle.

I can go anywhere, whenever I want and basically can do whatever I want too... I grew up very poor so I’m not the kind of person who will judge him or making him feel bad. I totally understand his position.

But, every time I offer him to join me on trips etc (I have offered him to pay for everything), he seems very embarrassed. He refuses all the time, and I’m afraid that this will become a major pb in the future...

He starts being distant and I’m afraid that it is because this.

So is it a major pb for you guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's great to have someone who can afford a good lifestyle. Wouldn't mind if she earned more than me. But if she pays for everything, I'd feel as if I owed her something. Not necessarily money, but there would be some kind of debt I would find hard to repay. And then I would feel unequal to her and would hate that.
    Her earning more money is no problem, her giving me small presents, would still be nice, but if she spends thousands for me I'd have a problem with it (unless these thousands aren't much for her because she earns millions)

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    • I think he thinks exactly like you. He doesn’t mind me earning more money.
      But feel bad to not be able to treat me the same way.
      That’s a shame cause I know he is a good guy and I don’t need him to treat me the same way as I did.

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What Guys Said 22

  • It's tough for some guys, but not all. Start making him construction paper cards with plane tickets inside and write, "You're worth every penny," or "I don't want to go anywhere if you're not there." If you do something extravagant and he says something like, "I'll make it up to you." Say, "I know you will," and give him a sexy wink or a pinch. He'll come around. I don't know any guy that wouldn't wanna feel like a high-priced gigolo from time to time!

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  • It might be little unpleasant, but it's not as bad as woman who stronger then her man. Because in the end of the day money is not an biological feature.

    tvtropes.org/.../NoGuyWantsAnAmazon

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  • No not really. To be honest it just sounds like a personal issue on his part. Then again there are times i don't like to be paid for because i don't want to make it a habit of relying on others to get what i want. It could he wants to feel to feel independent. In all honesty you should probably just ask him. Just be sincere in He'll be honest with you.

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  • You are talking about two different things. I'd be surprised if many men cared if you made more. But paying for his stuff all the time is another matter. A lot of men are not going to want a woman to pay for a lot of his stuff. Why? Because it would make him feel like less of a man. A man is the provider. He's the one responsible for making sure his family is fed. Even if she makes more, he is still responsible for it. If she doesn't make enough, it falls on him.

    Not everyone is going to agree with this, but a LOT of men will feel this way. You want a lifestyle beyond his means. He's just not going to be comfortable with you paying for it.

    He might not even like that kind of lifestyle. If I met a rich multi-millionaire, I wouldn't hold it against her. But if she wants to live a lavish lifestyle, I'm not going to do it. I wouldn't do it if it's her money, and I wouldn't do it if it's my money. I'm just not going to live that way.

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  • As a guy i understand him. Most guys (including me) are raised to be the one to bring in the money. But if my girlfriend or wife earned more i would be proud. And happy i mean when you are a couple you are in it together so if one earns a lot both benifit from it.

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    • He is happy that I earn good money. The pb is he wants him to do the things that I do for him. All the time, he says « it’s me who should take you on holidays... etc ».

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    • I think you are right... so sad

    • Truth hurts sometimes

  • No But I want to earn my own money not live on her and Also treat her nicely Also. If we are compitable it won't matter weather she is a CEO or house maid.

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  • It would be something to talk about but not a problem. Would just need to establish lines where spending could be made fair because I wouldn't want to be a leech.

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  • Oh any real men will admit that if i can pay im not about to play its just as simple as that... i feel that if you make more thats cool but if i never can contribute ill feel like a bum as mf

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  • I love a girl who can pay her own way or makes more then me. Depends from person to person. He might just be uncomfortable with people spending money on him

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  • No I wish to meet someone who earns as much or more than me. Makes it so much more easier being independent.

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  • No, I wouldn't mind, nothing more attractive then a successful woman.

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  • No at all. I've had a girlfriend who made twice as much as me. didn't phase me at all. as long as you like the person. if they have a problem with you maling more money than him, he's sexist

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  • Nope-I like the free food. But I want something 4 to 5 star and enough to hold me a couple days.

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  • Yes, I wouldn't want my partner to earn significantly less/more than me for the reasons you have described in your post.

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  • It has never been a problem for me. And it encouraged me to get my finances straight and get a better education so I could earn more.

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  • if it's ok for her, it's ok for me. unless she keeps bragging about it in that case it's a problem.

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  • F*CK NO.. would be great to have somebody to carry the load equally ..

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  • Not a problem at all, I wish she did.

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  • Of course not... I even prefer

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  • It isn't a problem.

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