Guilt is keeping me from saying yes to a guy because another guy deeply cares about me, but doesn't want anything. I don't know what to do?

I've known Adam (not his real name) since March of this year. We've gotten really close and we're basically best friends with the same personality. He was originally my ex's friend. This morning, Adam told me that my ex is spreading rumors about me and adam saying at his work. Im pretty sure he's jealous, and i made a joke about how we should pretend we're dating to Adam. He asked me out today a few hours afterwards. He said that the situation was a part of why he wanted us to be real, and also because he was scared at first, but I'm thinking maybe he wants me off of a whim, you know? I don't know what to think of that.

Anyways, we started liking eachother a few months back, but he always went for girls he barely knew, so I decided to move on from him because I "knew" we'd never be a thing. About a month ago I met this guy John, (not real name either). We instantly talked about some deep things and hit it off as good friends. However, I feel like i can't be myself around John. He really cares about me as a person, and so does Adam. But John doesn't want anything because he's moving in April. I really want to say yes to Adam because we can relate a lot better than John and I can. I just feel so guilty because I made it seem like I was so into John, but now I'm realizing that I'm not. I could never see us working out. I know that we were never together but I feel like I'm cheating. It's keeping me from taking a chance with someone that I'm myself around. I'm scared of John finding out and he'll get angry at me and really upset. Has anybody else been in this situation? How do you fix it?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Just friend zone john. He is moving away. That can be your excuse for not wanting nothing serious with him.

  • Don't be silly you are not cheating and anyway John aka (?) Is moving and as you said you can't be your self around him to me means u are not being true to your self a to go with Adam take a leap of faith


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