I pushed away a girl I like; can I recover from it?

A few months ago, I drunk-texted a girl I like and who I'm sure had liked me back. Not surprisingly, she was pretty uncomfortable that I came on so strong with my feelings late at night, and I guess I was pretty desperate cause I apologised to her a total of 3 times after the incident.

She'd already forgiven me after the first couple of apologies, but I irritated her even more after the third apology, so, at this point, we're not actually talking to each other at all. I know that I messed up big time, both by texting her and then by trying to fix things the way I did, and I know I should've just given her space from the get-go instead, but I don't know where to go from here.

I've been thinking that I should just give up and move on, but on the other hand, I really like her, and I don't think I'm ready to do that. That's why I want to know if I can still recover from this, or if it's too late.

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  • I would move on. If she liked you she would persue you, but as it is now you are in a weak position of chasing her. A woman who is really attracted will make it easy for you. After drunk texting it left her with a sour taste. I would just resume being friends and let it drop. Be a man of value. Make some positive changes. She might notice and give you the hint to try again with her.

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    • Hey man, thanks for taking the time to help me out with this, I really appreciate it; the thing this, and I guess it shouldn't be all that surprising, I don't really want to move on. I guess it's cause I know that the only reason I'd have to move on is cause I was the one who decided to be an ass and mess it all up, not her. It's not like I found out there was anything wrong with her, as far as I'm concerned, all the reasons I had to like her are still valid. I know should've been prepared to have to walk away for pulling the shit that I did, but I'm not. I guess what I'm wondering is, how do you deal with it? How do you deal with the fact that you almost certainly threw away an opportunity to have something really great?

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    • The best way to "move on" is simply to date other women. If the woman of your dreams walked into your life right now and she made it easy for you because there is great chemistry and she is attracted to you, then would you even be thinking of this girl right now? I am guessing probably not. Granted, the chances of that happening are slim, but that doesn't mean you can't meet other women and find a woman who is into you.

      That is another thing. Oftentimes the ones we want are so elusive, or it seems like we "fucked up", because they really weren't all that into us, to begin with. They might consider you creepy, but if they really liked you, or crushed after you, it would be seen as courageous or even sexy. Yes, some things like being sloppy drunk will turn many women off and ruin your chances, but you get my point.

      On the other hand, the women that might be into us we may ignore because they aren't our ideal "type". Maybe she carries a few extra pounds...

    • ... maybe she doesn't have as much in common. But if you feel that chemistry, she is into you, even if she isn't as hot as this woman you are pining after, it might be a good idea to at least try and see where things go.

      Anyway, get to know other women and focus on improving yourself (in all aspects of life). Put yourself first. Screw it if you made a mistake. Beautiful women are everywhere, of all shapes, sizes, races, ages, with all types of different interests and personalities. Need to think ABUNDANCE and you need to think that you are a catch, even if you did screw up with this ONE woman that you like.

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What Girls Said 3

  • What did you say in this drunk text?

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    • Well I guess you could say some of it was pretty crude, a lot of it was me telling her I liked her in a really over the top way, and a large part of it was just stuff that didn't make any sense

    • That sucks though many of us have had a drunk dialing experience! Since you've already apologized I would give it some time and see if her feelings change, time can help a lot

  • I would suggest to sit Down, and have an open and transparent conversation, and listen to her take on the matter. Also, if you can get her back, be sure to try and avoid a fourth mistake. With most people, you can only be forgiven a certain amout of times, some more, some less.

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  • Tell her just what you told us plus as much respect as you can fit in.
    I really truly. made a mistake and I apologize for it. I've been thinking that I should just give up and move on, but on the other hand, I really like you, and I don't think I'm ready to do that.

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    • I'm not sure that apologising again when she's already gotten annoyed at him apologising 3 times before is the right idea.

    • @englisc there's been a long gap in between. Plus that was 3 times in a row, this is just once. But drop the I apologize part if you're not sure, and tell her the rest.
      Then wait and just be kind and responsive to her when she's around, but don't make any direct attempts.

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