How to handle someone who flakes? (submarining: someone who disappears and pops back up after some time) What to do when someone 'submarines' you?

We live in a technological world now where it's just so easy to make or break plans with someone at the shot of a gun. Unfortunately, it also comes with stupid texting games I wish I didn't have to deal with.
Dating in this time and at my age is hard. its hard for everyone, but mostly for people who grew up with tech. It's made chivalry die out and thats what I fall for which is probably why I always go for older men... Im mature for my age and I know what I want.

This guy I met flaked on me twice. The first time our plans weren't solid but he said he had something come up with his friends and I waited around. Then we didn't speak for a month.

He submarined me. We then made last minute plans to see a movie and made new plans. The second time he bailed we had plans to go to dinner and Christmas in the park which could have been romantic as fuck. I was looking forward to it all day and then last minute he says I can't hangout I don't feel good I'm sick and have to run some errands.

Then he didn't text me for a week. He just sent me a text but I don't feel like responding and letting him get away with this for a second time. I'm looking for something serious and I don't exactly think this behavior should be rewarded with my time. I think it's smart to wait it out and see if he'll actually take me seriously and not waste my time. If he doesn't step up, then I'll know to move on.

I'm doing option 1 and 2 but I'm just curious to see what other people would do. It obviously sucks to be flaked on and there are definitely times where the person is honest but with dating a new person and texting, you never really know.

Trust me, I hate playing games and this isn't my way of playing a game, it's a way of showing that I simply won't put up with that behavior. Once you get fooled twice and still let them have their way, it becomes habit. The only way I feel like I can earn respect is by doing this.

What would you all do? What are your thoughts behind your answer?
  • Ignore
    Vote A
  • Wait it out until they respond a second time or call
    Vote B
  • Respond as soon as I can
    Vote C
  • Wait the same amount of time it took them to reach out to me again
    Vote D
  • Delete their number
    Vote E
  • Call them out
    Vote F
  • Block them
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I don't like being in suspended animation, I prefer to take control of things and have clarity in my life. If someone is being flakey then I'd rather just move on and leave them to it. Too many people give too much power away to other people and waste far too much of their lives trying to work out other peoples' minds. The one thing they can't seem to do is to stop being part of the problem. If you show that you tolerate bullshit then that's what you'll get.

  • 'Submarining' seriously? What is with these stupid new words...
    I can safely say that is never going to become a proper word.

    If they're flaking or their interest seems intermittent. Clearly they're not that into you and therefore will only give you attention when they have nothing better to do. That's the truth so if you have any respect for yourself, you'd just wouldn't bother talking to them.


What Girls Said 1

  • Just ignore.


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