Found out my girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend. Neither of them know that I know. Which one should I expect to tell me first?

It happened three weeks ago, but I just found out about it last week after receiving a text from her roommate (Sandy). Sandy and I have become really good friends over the course of me and Rose's (girlfriend) relationship. She asked me to try keeping her name out of it as much as I could, since they just resigned another 12-month lease together. Anyway, I'm still in shock and am trying to wrap my head around why Rose, whom I've been with for a year, would ever do something like this.

What's even worse is the fact that she did it with my best friend, who I thought would be the best man in my wedding. me and him are basically inseparable.

Aside from all of the pain and confusion, it's scary to think that I'm (probably) about to lose the two closest people in my life. Also, I can't believe neither of them have had enough dignity to tell me. I would have thought one of them would have told me by now.

Out of curiosity, which one has more of a moral obligation to tell me? Also, any advice would be appreciated.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand how you feel. My boyfriend cheated on me a few years ago with my best friend too. Just text both of them "I know everything, tell me about it" Do not reply to whatever messages they sent you after it, give them a time and place to meet and talk it out (separately, not your best friend and your girlfriend together). When you guys meet, ask if there's anything they want to confess. Ask them till they reply. If they get angry and storm out without confessing, break off your ties with them. They are not likely to change even if they stop cheating. Plus, depending on the duration they have been cheating, they will not tell you unless they feel guilty (if it's been going for more than a month they definitely won't be telling you)

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    • You're going to ruin the surprise of who talks first? You're no fun.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think technically the girl friend has more obligation to tell you because you're supposed to have more intimacy with a partner than a friend. But honestly I couldnt tell you who would. It might be years before either of them says anything.

    You don't deserve that man. You should drop both of them even though it's scary. How did you find out for sure?

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What Girls Said 1

  • The two of them has the obligation to tell you the truth because you effin deserve it. You ever wonder why they did that to you? Maybe your girl find something to your best friend that you missed. Whatever it is she betrayed you, that's unforgivable, but you try your best to forgive her because that is love. And to your best friend, what happen to the "bro before hoes"?

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What Guys Said 19

  • Well you should probably just ask her. They probably won't be telling you any time soon so you should tell her that you know and end things with her. Then you can tell your friend that he shouldn't contact you anymore because he is a lying piece of human filth. Seriously, you shouldn't be in this situation and getting rid of both of them will make you a happier person in the end. They betrayed you and you should cut them out of your life for good.

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  • They both have an equal obligation to tell you. Out of curiosity, is this an on going thing or was this just a crazy night out? Because there is a BIG difference.

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    • Drunken nite out. One time.

    • Show All
    • You think so?

    • I do! It was a mistake. Your relationship will be stronger if you can find a way to forgive her and talk with her about it.

  • I personally think the girlfriend would be more obligated unless you have an open relationship I mean she's the one that you've been with I mean your heart but your friend also has an obligation to tell you too but I'd confront the girlfriend about it to see what she's gonna say if she denies it then just say oh ok cause if you still love her y'all might be able to work it out

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  • You should put them both in a room with you and make it as awkward as possible till one of them cracks. Make it so subtle that it makes them think you know. You're best friend should be the to tell you he slept with your girl for whatever reason if you're that inseparable.

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  • Both should. But now that you know, you shouldn't wait for them to admit it, which they probably don't. Confront them, put them in the same room and tell them you know.

    And then tell them to fuck off while you're majestically crack open a cold one.

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  • Just leave them both. Terrible people who give no shits about you. No need to explain yourself. Silence speaks 1000 words.

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  • If the two closest people to you are willing to do that with your own well being at stake they don't deserve to be that close to you.

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  • Don't wait to see who confesses first. They both betrayed you. Immediately burn them both out of your life for good.

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  • Dump her and kick this douche bag out of your life now.

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  • One year with the chick? That's not a long time... is he or she older than you? eh... regardless of age, i don't see how any man can trust a woman who shared a fuck while in a relationship.. and with a friend? that's the stuff that hurts but be smart, be intelligent and distance your self from both. This is for your own good, that's integrity and use this experience for future relationships... that dude totally disrespected you beyond the norm...
    Conceal the emotional, she no tears, and keep your head up cause there really really are plenty of fish in the Sea to waste time on... be Smart And i assure you you will be thankful I told you. this

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  • Your best friend shouldve said something.. send them that john newman - cheating music video and dont say anything after keep hinting at them that you know about it until they confess

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  • Punch her then go to him and gutter stomp his cock best thing i did when my ex cheated on me was hit her then her dad turned to me and congratulated me for it

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    • Even though it probably felt amazing that's a way into end up in prison. It's not a great idea. Lol

    • I dont normaly hit women she's the only one so far il only do it if they truly desurve it

  • You my friend have been cuckold, best thing to do now is ask your girlfriend if she's down for a threesome. But after this she no longer becomes wifey material

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  • If u can just pack ur shit and leave and never speak to them again ever

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  • Block both out of your life as soon as possible. both deserve hell

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  • Welcome on your path to misanthropy.

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  • Beat his ass and dump her.

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  • Yourr best friend... On his death bed.

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  • Both of them have a moral obligation to tell you but since they did it it shows they don't have morals otherwise they wouldn't have done it to you.

    What you should do is invite your best friend and your girlfriend over for dinner but don't tell them you know. Chinese food, pizza, or something that is nice. Then you hand them each an envelope with a Christmas or Holiday card in it and write that you know they cheated and you'll forgive the first person that admits to what they did. Be sure they aren't sitting where they can see each other's card. But that's just for theatrical performance to see what they'd do once you caught them off guard. But you need to breakup with your girlfriend and end things even if she confesses first. If your best friend confesses, you should end things with him too, because he is not a trustworthy and loyal friend if he would betray you by banging your girlfriend.

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