Why is everyone so bothered by my realistic self-image?

Let's keep this simple, I performed a legitimate scientific experiment regarding my attractiveness. The results were not impressive. Specifically, I placed two ads on craigslist, at different times, with the exact same verbiage. One of these ads contained my picture (professionally taken, voted by my peers as the best picture taken of me), the other did not. Both ads were kept open for the same length of time, three months each. The ad containing my picture received no replies, the ad without received 50 replies. Of the 50 women that replied, 49 of them broke off contact immediately after receiving my picture. In a parallel experiment, I placed my picture on several dating apps and received no responses. Hot or Not, Tinder, Grinder, etc.

Now, the only reasonable conclusion, as far as I can see, is that I am objectively unattractive. Internally, I'm awesome. Good job, high intelligence, funny, wide variety of interests, decent storyteller, good conversationalist, loyal, caring, etc. But... Provably Butt Ugly. I'm not angry about this. Not depressed. Not even emotionally hurt. I have accepted it.

But, why are people so upset by my acceptance of this? I'm not insulting myself, talking bad about myself, I'm not even complaining about it. So, why are people so upset by the idea that I have a scientifically proven evaluation of my appearance?


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  • I've noticed that sort of reaction in response to any negative trait. I mean even when I've just said that I consider myself to be average looking, some of my friends have disagreed with me vehemently and when asked why it's been because they think I'm being needlessly hurtful to myself or that it's my lack of confidence talking. I think that, for most it's just something friends and family do, they try to cheer you up when you are being seemingly negative and it might seem weird and unrelatable to them that you would accept something about yourself that can be seen as negative. Because I think for most people admitting their flaws and mistakes takes effort and it's unpleasant, where as to people like us it's simply the reality of the situation and should simply be accepted as such. And I think they also fail to realize, that at least for me the fact that I acknowledge and accept that I have made mistakes and have flaws does not mean that I am not actively trying to better myself. So from how I understand it, they just think that you resign yourself to a negative thing that will cause you to be unhappy and so try to help you with that perceived problem.

  • I don't think anyone except you is upset about this. The fact is that no matter what you look like, someone out there finds you attractive. Looks aren't shit though. It's your personality and attitude that means everything.


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