Have you ever broken up with someone because of their political beliefs?

Have you ever broken up with someone because of their political beliefs?I started dating a lady in late October. The first date was a dinner date and it lasted for 3 hours because we both enjoyed the conversation so much. The next few dates were longer dates; we spent much time in conversation while we enjoyed different activities. I was struck by her sincerity and her apparent transparency. She spoke from her heart and I had no reason to not trust whatever she told me.

We then had a break of a few weeks because of Thanksgiving and I had the flu. We talked on the phone and everything seemed good. I thought that she and I had potential for a long term relationship: we had a mutual physical attraction, we had many common beliefs, values, and interests, and we both expressed a desire to find a partner for a LTR.

I called this morning to plan our date for this afternoon/evening. She said that she reviewed my Facebook page last night, realized that I am politically conservative, and that a relationship between us could never work so she needed to say goodbye. I was a bit stunned but, of course, if that is what she has decided, there is no point in arguing about it, is there?

I have dated ladies who held differing political views and never had it become much of a problem. I don't need a partner to agree with everything I say and I would not assume that they are "wrong" or a "bad person" because they don't embrace the same political ideals. I dated a liberal woman for two years and we got along quite well.

Have you ever had this experience?

  • I have never dated
    Vote A
  • I refuse to date anyone who does not have the same political beliefs that I have
    Vote B
  • I have never dated anyone who does not have the same political beliefs that I have
    Vote C
  • I dated someone and did not realize they did not have the same political beliefs that I have; when I made that discovery I broke up with them.
    Vote D
  • I have dated someone who does not have the same political beliefs that I have but we never had any unpleasant disagreements
    Vote E
  • I have dated someone who does not have the same political beliefs that I have and we had some unpleasant disagreements but it was not significant enough to break up
    Vote F
  • I have dated someone who does not have the same political beliefs that I have, we had some unpleasant disagreements, and it was significant enough to break up
    Vote G
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends on how those beliefs affect who they are... There are some I don't care about, others we avoid talking about, some that would make me second guess who they were as a person...

    Examples:
    We have opposite views on abortion. He believes it is always wrong and I believe it is a lot better than some alternatives. I understand his point of view and agree that in accordance with his life experiences that makes sense with who he is. He understands that with my experiences my view makes sense and we are fine with it.

    We avoid gender politics because that's just a never ending rabbit hole we both know all our exes are assholes and leave it at that.

    If he suddenly came home and told me he became a socialist or thinks that guys cutting their genitals off is a healthy life choice I'd probably leave... Because there is no way I could wrap my head around the image I have of who he is believing such things.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think she was just looking for a reason to end things, honestly. That seems just a little too petty.

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    • You may be right. She was living with a guy and they broke up late last year. However, she owns some rental units and allowed him to stay in one of them until about 3 weeks ago. She may not be fully recovered from that experience and she may be getting scared at the prospect of getting into another serious relationship. Whatever the reason, she's gone!

    • I'm sorry bud, I lost a girl in a similar sort of way. Keep your head held high

    • I'm already talking to other women! :)

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What Girls Said 17

  • I have dated someone who does not have the same political beliefs that I have but we never had any unpleasant disagreements.

    Are you 100% that is the reason? only ask because sometimes people say a different reason to the real reason to not hurt other peoples feelings or make the parting awkward.

    I personally would never break up with someone because of there differing political beliefs, sounds abit absurd to me if that is the only reason.

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    • She had a problem during the week and called me to vent and get some support. She was quite happy with how I responded. She really seemed eager to proceed until the announcement this morning. After our last date, I told her that I had stopped seeing one other woman who I dated only a few times and she seemed quite happy. The only alternative reason is that she is just not ready for commitment and seeing the possibility of that is enough to scare her.

    • If it is the political belief thing i'd be surprised, but i guess it depends on how passionate this is about that sort of thing.
      It sounds like up until that point she was interested, so maybe that is her genuine reason.

    • *she is

  • My boyfriend is a trump supporter, and I'm more on the liberal side. Honestly sometimes it seems like he pretends to support trump just to mess with me (not in a rude way, that's how our relationship is. Cheap jokes, pissing each other off, stuff like that). We've gotten into some heated arguments, but he usually understands what I'm saying and it's not that big if an issue. I wouldn't date someone if such a small thing could turn me off from them.

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  • It would only be an issue if they were an extremist, in either left wing or right wing sense, or they denied climate change, that to me shows ignorance and a lack of critical thought.

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    • People get accused of extremism and being a climate change denier just because they question the assumptions that are being made. I was blocked by someone yesterday when I was genuinely trying to explain why I don't think we are costing the effects of climate change properly. That's not science, it's politics but it should be possible to approach this scientifically. Stating "that's false" and blocking someone who is simply offering a few facts from a wiki page that you were ignorant of and going on to ridicule them in your own thread is not only showing a lack of critical thought, it's showing a complete ignorance of the need for intellectual humility in order to make progress at all.

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    • Another aspect that makes me suspicious is the desperation with which consensus opinion is sought and claimed. It's the same fervour you see in political parties trying to give an appearance of solidarity and its a long way from pure scientific enquiry which encourages criticism of the orthodoxy. Imagine how Einstein would have been treated with his completely revolutionary change in approach if he'd come up against a newtonian consensus that was political rather than scientific.

    • @Chiral Excellent analogy!

  • I've dated someone with different political views than me. And they completely belittled and embarrassed me (while we were in a restaurant where I was buying him dinner for his birthday). It really turned me off. Politics is important to everyone and we don't have to agree on everything but it was enough that I'll try and stick to people who similarly align with me in future. We didn't break up because of this but it was another facet of him that caused me to realise he just wasn't right for me.

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  • My brother-in-law has taken part in political strikes as a supporter of the political party that my sister (and our family) is against. Although in present days both families are like "both are bad neither is good" it doesn't change how strongly out opinions opposed each other lol. But they never ever had any problem with it.

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  • My boyfriend is a trump supporter and the first time he told me I was really shocked lol. We still have a few debates once in a while. A few very serious and he would tell me to move onto a new topic but mostly our political arguments are quite fun and harmless. Sometimes I would find memes of trump and tease him about it but he would always find a way to make it cool and sometimes he would tease me about being a democratic supporter. I’d be the one to get angry 😂 or “whatever”

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  • No, im not that much of a political person. I may agree or disagree but I don't think I would break up or stop being friends with someone because of politics. That's like stop being friends with someone because you like bright red but they like dark red, it's just stupid in my opinion. Beliefs on the other hand is a different story.

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  • I'm a conservative and I hate how I'm always getting insulted and attacked by everybody. Liberals bother me.

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  • Sounds like you 2 were a match made in heaven and agreed on your most important values. I'd be shocked too if a guy ended things over something that wasn't even a problem.
    I could understand her decision if you supported hate groups or were part of 1 but That wasn't the case. Your conservative values didn't seem to bother her until she saw the word "conservative" spelled out. You're 1 of the most level headed & respectful people I've seen on here, even when you disagree with a point. She sounds a bit too sensitive.

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  • No i like men who are different from me and who are opinionated. we can learn from one another

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  • I would never break up for different political views. We all are entitled to our views and I don't think it defines who we are. In your case that does seem stunning as everything seemed good, perhaps she looks for little things as an excuse.

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  • If they are full on liberals, I'm not gonna date them probably, sorry if it sounds shallow

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  • I voted E but we did have unrelated unpleasant arguments and broke up.

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  • I said I refuse to date anyone who has the same beliefs I do, and by that I mean beliefs in respect and tolerance. I can imagine what was probably on your Facebook page that turned her off. (You naughty Trumpkin, you.)

    Personally, I don't think politics belongs in someone's Facebook page at all. You should keep your opinions to yourself, not plastered over the Internet. So if someone is posting either a whole bunch of very conservative stuff or a whole bunch of very liberal stuff, I wouldn't go out with them.

    Sooner or later they're going to want to get involved in some kind of heated discussion and I'm so done with arguing politics or being a target, especially with people I'm close to.

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  • No I don't care about people's political beliefs as long as they respect mine

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  • I've done this. I was online dating and this guy I was talking to, I creeped his facebook. He had a lot of trump stuff on there. I couldn't date him after that.

    I'm not going to date someone who won't support the women in his life.

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    • Believe it or not, there are people who support many of Trump's political goals without approving of his personal life. Really. Just like there are many people who supported Clinton because of her platform and despite her history of scandals.

  • I have stopped dating guys who were abrasive about their political beliefs, on both “sides.” For me, it’s that I don’t like too much anger and drama and a lot of political ranting is draining to me. I think if people are very fervent, if their politics is s big part of their identity, dating others who are similar is probably a better fit.

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What Guys Said 26

  • I'm neither conservative nor liberal - and I'm not a moderate, either. My political beliefs are all over the map, and I can be somewhat fervent about them. I'm not "middle of the road" on many issues, but at the same time, I don't subscribe to the belief that you have to conform to what everyone else on one side says you have to think, feel, and hold as values. (There is a lot of peer pressure in politics, and I'm sure a lot of folks out there feel that they have to change who they are just to fit in.)

    For instance, I'm an animal rights activist, I'm for drug legalization, I'm against free trade, I support the idea of unions, I think illegal immigration is destroying America and illegal aliens should probably get the death penalty, and while I'm not a member of the NRA I fully support the Second Amendment. It's hard (and probably impossible) to find a woman that lines up with me politically on every issue I think is important, so I've learned to date anyone regardless of their political beliefs.

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    • I'm not trying to be provocative but your views seem to be remarkably similar to National Socialism as espoused by Adolf Hitler. You should look into Nazi beliefs as you may well find you would be on the same side for all the major issues you mention.

    • @Chiral I think I've dated too many non-white women to ever be accepted by the Nazis.

    • What you need to find then is a political organisation who hate people according to their immigration status rather than their ethnicity per se... Hmm.. I'll give it some thought...

  • I never knowingly dated someone with opposing political believes as me. If they had, I wouldn't care, unless they were either activists, pushed it, or talked about it constantly.

    I also had a guy friend from college. We were good friends for over ten years. I was over there all the time, and his wife and daughters were like a second family to me. After ten years I never knew what his or his wife's politics were. It never once came up.

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  • In my opinion only the extremists should be left out. I lean to the left but would have as much desire to date a far left wingnut as I would a far right wingnut. Everything else should be pretty fair game. If you date someone that is the same it's boring, sometimes a little conflict is stimulating.

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  • I've never dated anyone who cares about politics in general. I find such people to be... impractical. They're dreamers who spend so much time worrying about what other people do, they forget about those closest to them.

    Put it simply, if something doesn't affect me in the day-to-day i don't give a rat's ass. All politicians are as bad as each other, in different ways.

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  • I would NEVER entertain a Cultural Marxist brainwashed " Liberal TM " , they are VERY far from actually truly liberal , they are Stalinist's in all but name , the way they behave towards anyone with opposing views speaks for itself. Most female " liberals " tend to be also feminists , feminism itself is a sub branch of Cultural Marxism , which in it's current form is an anti-male movement... what sane person would interact with someone that hates you for your gender !!

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  • Yes. The lady in question turned out to be a staunch feminist who belonged to a hate group who regarded all men as sexual predators and wife beaters. I dissasociated myself as l knew that was not true, and it amazed me that she went along with those views despite knowing that l as a man was totally unlike the stereotype they seemed to support.

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  • I’ve never dated a conservative girl. If that counts as being “opposite” to me lol. In any case for me it doesn’t matter what “side” she’s on as long as she’s not a nutcase extremist, or has deeply held beliefs based on Facebook memes... lol.

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  • Who cares. I thought we had the freedom to vote for who WE think is best. What I can't figure out is why people are so narrow minded that they must vote for the party they are in. I say do away with the Democratic and Republican Party system that way we might have people who would actually care about our great nation, but no all they do now is have drama and anger over which party is better and not caring about the job they were elected to do.

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  • Dude you dodged a bullet. I'm not into politics, but being a liberal or conservative and thinking how the government should run the country doesn't make someone a bad person.

    I think she is so petty. It's her lost not yours.

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  • Conservatives and liberals used to disagree on policies, but they could agree on facts. I can hand that kind of disagreement. But today in the US conservatives and liberals can't agree on the facts. Conservatives deny science when it indicates policies that are against the interests of their donors, or contradicts some religious dogma. That is intolerable.

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    • And do you think that liberals deny facts?

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    • It's part of a pattern of refusal to talk about current issues. It's like a child being asked about something that happened yesterday, saying "But what about Sara? Last year she..."

    • Okay, I get it. You just one more liberal who thinks that liberals have the moral high ground. I won't participate in any more of your self-serving nonsense. I have had more than my fill of liberals preaching from their moral high ground. This venue is hereby closed! Take it elsewhere!

  • I've never dated but I would not consider that as a reason to end things. I am a centralist. Sure I would not have the same views as she would, but I am open to debate and talking, not an end all be all.

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  • Yes.

    This maybe was not the main reason but she was leftist and had liberal oppinions (okay until here majority of women are stupid politically and pro mainstream media).

    But it this pont she starts to show Feminist, Politically Correct, she use to say "im very tolerant..." but don't accept any different oppinion of her beliefs. "I don't hate nobody, i love everyone..." but show hate and prejudice about Cristians (im proprelly not a one but i dion't think all this fair) until she starts to say "i hate white" (she is blonde/caucasian) and "i hate capitalism" (she alway's hat the last iPhone).

    Afer that i said "go f¨*ck yourself crazy bitch" and we dumped.

    Was the best thing i did in my life. I feel very good, im "free" and im not have to listen bullshit anymore.

    I don't want a scumbag like this, being mother of my kids.

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  • You have dodged a bullet. Rejoice!
    A man who has both your enormous life experience and a law degree should have gone MGTOW monk years ago.
    Women are not wworth the pain, or the enormous legal and financial risk.
    Your leftard friend can dream at night of sucking Lenin’s cock, or possibly Bernie’s Viagra powered penis.
    Imagine the horror that would have entered your life if she had not decloaked until much later.
    Just last night I had to deal with a persistent 40-something woman, who, apparently, liked the way that I looked in my stereotypical black suit and earpiece.
    I think that she wet her panty when I dealt with a couple of obnoxious gatecrashers.
    When she was 20, the same woman would have rejected me, because Harley MacBadBoy would have been more ‘fun’ and ‘exciting’.
    Now, she is looking for money and a white picket fence.
    She can find another target to wallet rape in divorce court.

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    • Lol you sound like a bitter asshole who never got the girl. Perhaps if you had a better personality the girls would have been with you instead of "Harley macbadboy". Don't blame your short comings on others.

    • @jimyee Agreed :)

    • @jimyee @PrincessPie
      If only you knew the full story. 🤣
      After I turned 30 women who would not speak with me when they were 10 years younger were all over me.
      I have done things sexually, that most people only fantasise about.

  • Nope, politics are the last thing I care about in the world.. Politics and kardashians.. I know they exist, I know people get really passionate about them but I could not care less..

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  • The idea that people who are legally adults cannot handle people having different opinions to such an extent always astonishes me.

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  • I think this is an appalling attitude to have. It's virtue signalling of the worst kind. The way I see it you don't judge a person's beliefs by the political and social attitudes they profess to hold, you judge them on how they live their life. If someone says they believe everyone should have a high quality education but they don't even stick around to help their own children with their homework then they don't believe this. It's simple.

    I suggest giving her a copy of Jonathan Haigts book "Righteous Mind" to read. He's a Liberal turned centrist. If she has any intellectual integrity at all she'll realise her foolishness when she reads that.

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  • Only really seems to work one way, this kind of thing, I've noticed.

    Liberals are apparently much more entitled to judge conservatives (in their own minds anyway) than the other way round.

    My friends have a massive span of political beliefs, and I don't have many political red lines for friends, although I have the odd one or two, and those can't be crossed.

    For girlfriends, I came to the conclusion some time ago that political disagreements are one more thing that can go wrong. It's possibly another reason why I default to foreign girls. I don't really care about the politics in their countries, so we don't argue about it.

    My current gal has aligned herself very closely with my views, at least as far as British politics go, and this with no conscious prompting from me.

    As far as your situation goes, her loss. Let me repeat that again - HER loss. You can certainly do better than such a petty individual, mate.

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  • Uts kinda funny because i have never been with a woman ever since i became more aware about politics and other "adult issues" lol (not that it had anything to do with it).
    So i guess, you could say im not exactly very experienced in adult dating, dont know how i would handle such a thing.

    However, after some thinking, i dont think i could date a liberal woman.
    Conservative , traditional girls for me.
    Or girls who aren't interested in politics at all, like the ones i have been with till now.

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  • I'm sorry for your loss friend. But look at the bright side: She uncovered her true self and if something as low and irrelevant as politics is the reason for breaking up a potential relationship, I'd call it bullet dodged. So you're good.

    Basically when it comes to me i wouldn't bring up politics. I'm not saying you did. I'm Not doing it even on the public internet like on Facebook (i don't have Facebook). Now in your case since you're employed in laws this might unlikely be a problem but everybody is different how they perceive things. Also this time it did serve you alright to let go of her shallow @$$.

    Sometimes things just must be. And in your case you deserve someone better. Could you catch up with that other lady, that you stopped seeing? You could tell her what happened. 🤷

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  • I have ended relationships early on when I realized that they were insane, politically

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  • I think that's a dumb reason to break up

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  • Nope

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  • No never

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  • nah and doubt I would either

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  • Never

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  • i wouldn't date anyone who was a trump supporter but i also wouldn't date any of the annoying super left feminist cunts

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