Would you be able to date or love a girl who was a survivor of sexual assault?

So many men have rejected me as soon as I tell them about my past trauma.

I don't know why it scares people away.

I was raped but that doesn't mean I'm broken and worth any less.

Guys please share your insight! Why would or wouldn't this be a problem for you? Can you please think of any reasons? I just don't understand.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I don’t mean to be offensive but maybe the “slut” in your username could be an indicator of why guys rejected you before. Are you giving off any vibes that could indicate a more promiscuous behavior? I’ve been around women that had an attitude that was very telling of their personality and how hey viewed sex and carried themselves. Also, what exactly is your definition of rape or sexual assault? Meaning, what specifically happened to you that would constitute a rape or sexual assault? Was the guy arrested?

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • This isn't relevant for me personally anymore. I'm in a fantastic relationship.

      I'm in college and I want to be a social worker. I'm trying to understand some of the things I never figured out.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't tell him unless you two are that close. I have been abused sexually a lot too, but I don't tell every guy.
    It depends on how you tell them too, if it seems you're sending a message that it still affects you, for that reason they might get uncomfortable.

    But I wouldn't want anyone who would get turned off by me being human. I tend to see where the girl is good looking, and display humanness... men get turned off, because they don't view you as a person and don't want you to force them to.

    You really shouldn't care too much about a person who doesn't value you anyway. Don't you have a hobby or career?

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    • It is relevant information for people that I'm seeing and potentially going to sleep with.

      It's not like it's the first thing I say.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 24

  • Yes. I have done so in my past. However, there is always the possibility that no counselling was given and the lady's psyche has been irretrievably damaged turning her into a walking time bomb.

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    • That's fair

    • Thank you. I went out with one lady who had been severely traumatized by an ex who regularly assaulted her, and who tried to end het life with an axe.

  • Yes my current girlfriend is sexual assault victim. The doesn't make you any less of a woman. Your next boyfriend just needs to know that you are not ready to do things you don't want to do.

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    • This isn't relevant for me personally anymore. I'm in a fantastic relationship.

      But I'm in college and I want to be a social worker. I'm trying to understand some of the things I never figured out

    • Show All
    • You're not following me so I can't

  • I have and would again but I can understand why many wouldn't. A lot of people just don't want to take on the potential stress of finding out what they can or can't do with you. Personally I would just ask.

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  • Why not. Everyone has baggage in their life. You have to be willing to sit down and talk with her on a daily basis, or whenever she needs to talk to you. You are going to have to be her rock more than you can imagine. This is not a going gets tough, and you head for the door. If you do that, she will never trust a man the rest of her life potentially.

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  • We live in a age that everything is available anytime, thanks to the internet. Men today chicken out if they find that the girl they like has this kind of stress on her life and usually go after someone who they deem easier.

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  • It doesn't matter at all. What matters is how you deal with it. If you let it control your life, it'll make things harder in a relationship.

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  • I have done exactly that. So yes- and of course!
    Your past shouldn´t judge your future- and therefore, neither should people do so!

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  • I don't know. They're harder to love because it requires more patience and effort to be able to be with them and deal with their problems with them.

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  • It would be a bit of a turn off. I wouldn't want to deal with the extra baggage and I also think she would be more likely to be promiscuous which is also a turn off.

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  • No man. I have friends that went trough that and one i even wanted to date but I was friend zoned. So its not all guys.

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  • I have dated a number of women who have experienced sexual assault and rape. It never affected my opinion of them

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  • Most of my girlfirends were. it's fine.
    Oh, and maybe don't tell guys right off the bat. Chances are that's what's scaring them off.

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  • I'm a sexual assault survivor myself, so I wouldn't have any trouble with that.

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  • I don't think it would bother me, tbh.

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    • Can you think of any reason why it would bother someone else?

    • Hmm... well, maybe it would be uncomfortable to talk about? Most guys don't like talking about tough topics; moving on to someone else who doesn't have those experiences is a quick solution to the problem. But there are those of us out there who don't mind and will take the time to work with you. Finding them may be tough, though.

  • I would. It would inspire so many people when they find out how you survived that trauma.

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  • Past should have nothing to do with the future as long as it isn't a ruler in your life

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  • I would not be able to date or love a girl who was a survivor of sexual assault

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  • Can and have. It was never a big deal at all.

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  • Totally

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  • yesss

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What Girls Said 6

  • Honestly, any guy who wouldn't date a girl because she got sexually assaulted is ridiculous in my opinion, i have been in the past and most guys are supportive and understand it, if i met one who didn't want to be with me because of that, i'd not want to be with them anyway.
    Any decent guy wouldn't change there opinion on you because of something tragic that happened to you.

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  • yes, if he won't love you for that he is an ass. The guy I'm with now was very sweet about it, he didn't make me talk about it as I wasn't really comfortable and he didn't treat me any different after. He doesn't act like I'm fragile or anything and it is great.

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  • To much emotional baggage. Some people aren’t ready for that.

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  • It takes a person that is strong enough to handle insecurities

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  • Been there but usually bc they feel uncomfortable

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  • So many people - men too - have been sexually assaulted or molested. It’s not going to keep you from finding someone. Get professional help if you need, though, as a partner can’t fix these deep wounds.

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