I'm 19. Do I have a chance with this 41 yr old?

Before you say anything—please don't judge. I truly am just genuinely interested in older men. The ones I've seen have taken great care of themselves at least! Are my chances of a serious relationship with someone middle-aged (who don't have fetishes of younger women) likely?

ALL OPINIONS WELCOMED BUT PLS BE SINCERE

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he wants kids, then expect to have them pretty early in the relationship. And make sure he will exercise at least a couple times per week to stay healthy enough to raise those kids.
    What you should consider is many people, whether they find someone their own age or not, are lucky if they have a good relationship that lasts 20 plus years. If you like each other and have morals and life goals in common, then go for it.
    Lots of people have relationships with someone around their own age and it ends after 5 to 10 years and they don't finish raising kids together. So even if he would only be in good condition for the next 25 or so years, if it works out then that is pretty good.

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What Guys Said 18

  • I suppose, but guys my age are usually only interested in younger girls for their looks. I can only imagine that if I truly sought out a girl at that age to date, it would be due to some kind of immaturity on my part, like some weird need to make up for all the girls I didn't bang when I was in high school.

    That's not to suggest that girls your age can't be interesting - because you can, but "interesting" is a relative word. Unless you are familiar with the 90's culture, chances are good the only way we would be able to relate to you is if we are familiar with modern teenage culture - and that suggests an immaturity.

    But I'm trying to think of a situation in which this would seem natural. Like, if I met a girl online who led me to believe she was my age, and after chatting for a while I had no reason to suspect other wise - indeed perhaps our conversations were quite pleasant. I suppose it would only be an exciting surprise to find out she was a sexy young girl. But outside of that unlikely set of circumstances, I don't think most guys my age would be able to get past the hotness without pretending to get past it - and the better guys are at pretending, the less trustworthy they really are in this regard.

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  • Serious, no. You will be used. Why don't you at least wait until your legal to drink or rent a car before you get involved with someone whose life is half over

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  • I never judge... that would be a bit off for me to do!
    Why wouldn´t you have a chance? The quite immense age difference will surely cause some difficulties, but if he truly cares for you, I am sure it is possible to make it work ! But it won´t come easy, mostly because of societys/familys and what have you conservative mindsets...

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  • I think it’s like this... 98% of 41 year-olds who would be interested in ‘serious’ with you are weirdos. Guys who will think you are ‘too old’ when you get to 20s & dump you. If the guy has never been in relationships with women 30s and up, beware.

    And 100% of the 40+ guys who go out of their way looking for 19 year-olds and claim older women are gross/all problems are weirdos too.

    The other thing is that he’s probably into you because his maturity level is lower than normal guys his age. If you got into long term with him, eventually your maturity level would far exceed his. Which is something both of you might not want at that time.

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    • I was always interested in older women by the way... but what also happens is people want different things at different stages of life. For example at some point you will want kids but the older guy might not cause he already has kids. But you don’t realize this is a problem till you get to that point in your life. If you stick to guys no more than 10-12 years older I think this will be less of an issue. Although as you get older you will be a better judge of what age gap works for you. Bottom line is just be careful. Lot of different types of guys out there. Good luck.

  • It really depends on him. It can't be predicted whether he'll want someone your age or someone his age, but it doesn't hurt to try.

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  • A chance for what? A lot of guys that age would like a fling with a 19 y. o., but maybe not a relationship.

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  • No middle aged man is interested in a serious relationship with young girls. They just stay with you for awhile until they find a new girl

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  • Only that 41 yr old can answer that and your odds are low because he's likely gonna write you off as immature at first

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  • Yes you should age is just a number. If it doesn't work out with him give me a call

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  • yes, just act mature, and be real, and not what you think they like

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  • NO DON"T DO IT

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  • Yeah you do

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  • Yeah

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  • nope.

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  • Depends on what you look like.

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  • It works very well

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  • I spouse you can myke it work

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  • Some. Your odds with older men are better than a year ago. They will get dramatically better over the next 2-3 years.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Probably not, but there’s always a chance. A Slim one. I am with an older guy myself. But at some point the age spread can get to be too much. Are you familiar with the half his age plus. 7 rule? That’s the socially accepted sysbdard when looking to be with a much older guy or a much younger girl. o was underage of it when I met my guy but it turned out to be the exact same as that rule and we’ve been together 3+ years.

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  • I dated a guy 25 years older than me. We had so much in common because I was raised by my grandparents I was into a lot of the same things as him. We had a great relationship and truly cared about each other. However, do you want kids someday? That's something to consider. If you and this guy did date imagine having a child graduate high school when your husband is in his 60s and you're in your 40s. People will think he's your dad and your child's grandpa. My relationship didn't work because I wanted kids and realistically... just not a good idea. Also, imagine having a husband to take care of when you're in your 60s and supposed to be retired and having fun. Going on vacations etc. He would be in his 80s. That's huge at that point. Think about that. If you just want a fling... by all means... go for it. I am not judging. I can't. I do think in all honesty that it's a bad idea though.

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  • It depends on how comfortable this person is with being with someone so young. You may have to battle the stigma of such an age gap.

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  • He is too old for you.

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  • Hell naw

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  • . No.

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