Is it shallow to not want to date someone because they're poor?

I don't think it's any different than a guy not wanting to date a girl because she's ugly. We all have our preferences and needs.
I'm sick and tired of dating this guy who can't even afford himself and lives off of the government. He can't even afford a decent meal or to take me out to a fun event. On the other hand, my friends have boyfriends who take them off on vacations to Cancun and can afford to take care of them. That's the type of relationship I want.
Is it shallow to desire to be with someone else who can provide me with a better lifestyle?

0|0
824

Most Helpful Guy

  • So you're basically a gold digger. If money that important but you don't want to work for it then yes you are shallow. Being with a guy for what he can provide for you financially basically makes you a prostitute of sorts.

    0|2
    0|0
    • I disagree. Dates and bills don't pay themselves and love alone can't make a relationship work. i want the full package. Love and financial stability.

    • Show All
    • @asker if you want to be traditional that's fine, I hope you're a good cook! 😂

    • @david199 I sure am.

Most Helpful Girl

  • There are times men will be able to afford that lifestyle, and times they won't.

    Money goes and comes. They might loose the job, get sick, etc.

    If you want a rich man that has time for you, then you need to find the world's richest man. Because men who earn a lot, usually work a lot.

    Also as a woman you need to realise that not every rich guy will take you after a while. Age is very important to them and youthful looks.

    You might leave this guy and he might be a billionaire... to go for someone who's a millionaire. Life is not static... it changes.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I agree, however I work a lot too. I don't have a lot of free time either. In addition, I'm not looking for a sugar daddy. I want the full package. Love and wealth. Sugar daddies will be the one who will replace you after you get old. Not someone who is truly in love with you.

    • Show All
    • I am sure there are plenty of gold diggers who do a great job at pretending to love someone, but I know for a fact that these couples I'm referring to are in love. Unless you're referring to something else?

    • Something else... god knows if they get raped or abused at night or left alone for days... who knows.

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • Can't you afford those things yourself? Perhaps you need to find a better job so you can get those things for yourself, and then you won't even need a guy.

    2|1
    1|0
    • I want to be spoiled like my friends are. And they're actually in love with one another. It's not like it's some sugar daddy arrangement. I want the full package. Love and financial stability.

    • Yeah they're in love with them as long as the all-expenses-paid Cancun trips continue.

    • Not necessarily. You can be in love with someone who doesn't satisfy your needs as it happened to me before. They just happened to be lucky enough to find guys who provided them with the full package.

  • Wanting better is not being shallow.
    However not taking into account the effort out in is.
    Like if he works and pays his bills and can support you without all the fringe shit and you just want to be spoiled then yes that would be shallow.

    A relationship should be both people making each other better. Not one expecting Cancun trips or an extravagant lifestyle.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I agree. Although, a financially strong person doesn't need to be made better by receiving money. I can pay him back in other ways such as taking care of him, cooking for him, giving him love and support, etc... I guess it's because I'm a traditional person and I'm more about letting the guy take the lead and take care of the finances as well.

    • Show All
    • That's the thing. I want to be traditional, but I can't with a guy who lives off of the government. It really aches me to see my friends who don't have money as a problem in their relationships. I

    • Then find what makes you happy whether it is shallow or not

  • It is not shallow, it is worse. I knew women who dated on race and not one has a stable relationship. One even claimed white men treat white women best. Shame her last lover not only beat her up? but got her to do prositution to pay bills and kids stuff. A poor man is a man who does not want to be judge by his wallet, colour and so on. You would not like being judge by your breast size?

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you're demanding all that while offering nothing in return then yes you're an awful person. if the guy is working hard or in school then yes you're an awful person. if he is a lazy idiot then that's your problem for choosing a lazy idiot. always ask yourself what do you have to offer in order to demand something? there has to be mutual respect otherwise it just sounds like you wanna have a good time just because he gets to date you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I have plenty to offer besides money. I want the full package. Love and financial stability. And yeah, I realize that i was an idiot for not finding someone better.

    • I meant more than your looks. lets say a guy is financially stable but all you have to offer is your looks and nice body then sooner or later he'll get tired of that. but if you got the brains money and looks then thats a different story

    • I agree 100%. Good looking girls can be found everywhere, but good looking girls who are also educated, strong, helpful, honest, etc.. are not that easy to find.

  • If he is putting in effort to change then yes it is shallow if he is content with how his life is and can’t take care of himself and you properly then nah you should get out of there if he is dragging you down with him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's okay to have your preferences. You may as well enjoy life by dating the person you want. Most people don't have much money though so there's competition for those guys.

    0|1
    0|0
  • U are comparing your relationship with your friends there is not point doing that. In your case the boy is even able to even afford his daily meal so then it's not been shallow it's just being practical.

    Otherwise, it's surely shallow to not want to date someone because they are poor

    0|0
    0|0
    • I am comparing my relationship with your friends because that's the type of relationship I want. And if they can get it and be happy, why can't I?

    • Show All
    • Well, there are things that are more important than others. For me, money is extremely important in a relationship.

    • Then u have ur answer and then what does it matter if dumping him because he is poor makes u shallow or not

  • Depends, if you're thinking of it in that the poor are often poor due to low IQ or mental issues than that makes sense. If you're literally dating men so you an get things from them then you're practicing prostitution.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I want the full package. Love and financial stability. If I was after money alone, then I'd admit that I was a gold digger. But, I'm not.

  • I would say that if he works and is trying to progress yes.
    However your criteria seem really stupid, taking care of someone means being there, not Cancun or a Lambo

    0|1
    0|0
  • You do you. I however always prefer to appear to have less than I actually do, and I don't make time for selfish women.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I mean is he a lazy person or just unfortunate if he's lazy then why would you want to be with someone like that he won't change and be how you want him to be that's just how I see it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What if the guy wouldn't date you unless you could provide for him and take him places? lol
    So hypocritical.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I can provide for him in other ways that doesn't involve money. I'm a traditional person and I'm more about letting the guy take the lead and be the provider.

    • Show All
    • Money doesn't equal something better.
      Anyone that has been with a well earning cheater, abuser, alcoholic, druggie, or a person that is never there for their family because they value making money more than valuing their family would all easily disagree with valuing money so much.

      If money is your primary requirement, you will likely never have a long lasting relationship. Not long enough to have a family and raise them to adulthood.
      At some point, people will have financial difficulty, and those who value money so much will leave because they aren't loyal to anybody.

    • Money is not my primary requirement, but it's one of the requirements. Bills can't be paid with love. How do you expect to even start a family without money? Diapers, a house mortgage, car, food, doctor/hospital visits, all cost $$$.

  • Would you date that person before you found out they were poor? If so then yes

    0|1
    0|0
  • if you purely want a well-off man just to reap benefits from his monetary gain, then yes it does sound pretty shallow.

    but you do you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • No. I want love AND money. Wanting a guy just to leech off of him without love is a whole completely different thing.

    • i'm not saying you want to leech off him, i'm simply saying that wanting him for the said reason IS shallow.

      either way, you do you-- it doesn't affect me.

  • No, it's not shallow.
    It's evolution in action.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I so agree! Can you elaborate on this subject since you seem to be very knowledgeable?

    • 1. You want the fittest male to start a family with.
      In modern society, fitness regarding both survival against attack is measured by money.
      2. With money, there is less stress regarding survival. Stress adversely affects health.
      3. With money, there is more protection from crises and easir recovery from crises.
      4. You want your kids to inherit the money and to have those capabilities that the father has to make it.

  • Of course what kind of person are you if you're picking up butches at the soup kitchen

    0|0
    0|0
  • Can you not get money for yourself?

    0|2
    0|0
    • I could, but I actually want to be spoiled like my friends are.

    • Then yes it is shallow but go get what you want.

  • nope

    1|0
    0|0
  • Shallow

    0|1
    0|0
  • its shallow

    0|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    3

What Girls Said 7

  • If he's ambitious and not lazy, I'd date him despite the fact that he's poor.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's what he Is doing about it. If he's gonna live off the government for his whole life don't date him. Date a guy who has goals and doesn't depend on anyone

    0|1
    0|0
  • It’s nice to build a life with someone. It sounds shallow but if it’s what you like them it’s what you like.

    0|0
    0|0
  • A little bit

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes it's shallow, hella shallow

    0|1
    0|0
  • Depends.

    If he is poor, but have a great character and works hard to keep going, I don't see poverty as a huge problem. I think poverty (to a certain degree) is a part of life.

    On the other hand, if he is poor because he is lazy and jujst don't feel like working, I would not at all be fine with that.

    Maybe you don't want the guy, just the vacations and events? In that case, your intentions in the relationship may be shallow.

    And also, I don't think you should have to take care of him (or if you do that to some degree, but do you really need him to take care of you? If you want a vacation, you could perhaps try and save resources for it yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I want to be spoiled like my friends are. They don't have to worry about financial problems because their boyfriends take good care of them. meanwhile, this guy lives off of the government and can never afford to do anything.

    • Show All
    • I have done a lot. I typically give more than what I receive. I’m just asking why is it that you believe I’m not capable of attracting the type of man I want like my friends did? My friends are even more ambitious than I am.

    • They’re also not nearly as good looking as I am (not trying to sound full of myself here).

  • It's not shallow to want a guy who pays for his own wants and needs but it is shallow to want a guy who pays for both his and your wants and needs.

    0|1
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...