Do guys usually get disappointed to find out you are no longer a virigin? What do they think?

Alright, im 20 and my boyfriend is 24. so my new boyfriend found out because He asked me if i ever “sleep over” with my ex (first BF) before and i honestly said ya once in that 1year and 5 months relationship. So i guess he was trying to figure if im a not a virgin. Then his mood starts changing saying he didn't expect that from me, he thought i was “innocent good girl type” because i refused to hold his hand before we started dating. His all like he feels jelous and less special since i did that already for my ex. How do I deal with this? Is this normal for guys? I mean he had a 4 years relationship before me and i do bet his not virgin anymore too, i do get jelly at first but it doesn't bother me like his because i understand that we all had someone special before we met. Like I didn't sleep with random guys. It was my ex boyfriend and it frustrates me cause id understand more if he never had a girlfriend and we were in high school. What do you think? Is this normal

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No it its not normal. BUUUUUT... It sounded very incoherent on your part to refuse holding hands like you were the last princess of England, you sent him a message that you are a puritan and maybe that was got him attracted.

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    • It wasn't in a negative way it was just that it was our first date he tried holding my hands. I felt uncomfortable.

    • I understand and you have every right to do so, I am just trying to show why exactly he got mad, even tho I think with time it will pass.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The whole deal about virginity is another way for guys to boost their ego and pull us down. It's just a stupid social standard created by the patriarchy

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    • Nice did you learn that in your gender studies class? This has nothing to do with patriarchy, it applies to all genders. Many dudes who don't go sleeping around. Doesn't matter how offended someone maybe, it is in their right as they willingly engaged in the matter, in this case she willingly engaged in sexual matters with her ex, then didn't even want to hold this guys hand. As long as he is not pulling a double standard, he has the right to his opinion, and if she doesn't like it she can leave him, simple. He's not being jealous, just doesn't like the hypocrisy. There's no social standard here, you go sleeping around doesn't matter your gender, people won't respect you, respect is earned. But at the end of the day who cares anyway? Live your life and let others live theirs.

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    • @TimbahWolf you can’t compare it though because I slept with my ex when we were in a relationship for 1 year already. The holding hands was on the first date within 3 weeks from knowing each other. We had no verbal clarification, we werent official, i was surprised and i felt uncomfortable that time. I had the right, its not hyprocisy, just because you are no longer a virgin doesn't mean you should hold hands with anyone not your boyfriend.

    • There is no patriarchy comrade Leighanaxo. The system you see around you isn't some conspiracy, it's evolution, you're busy fighting against reality, and you'll loose.

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What Guys Said 13

  • Nah at his age its a little abnormal. Its his own fault though that its all in his head. If he wanted you to really be the "innocent good girl type" for him he just had to keep his mouth shut since he already looked at you that way. If he's just jealous it will go away, if its more that this fantasy is ruined, you'll know soon enough and will most likely want to move on.

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  • I think he was little disappointed because girls say that they are saving herselfes for someone "special" and he thought that he was that person but when he found out that he isn't he was little sad but u just explain him that you didn't knew him then and that doesn't change anything that you love him. I think that he still feels the same but he just went down because he probably though of someone that has been there before him if you know what I mean :P. Thats my opinion I don't know

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  • I don't think a reasonable guy would find it to be that big of a deal. Everyone likes sex, as long as she is safe and healthy it's not a problem for me.

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  • I think he's being over jealous, past is the past you can't let him judge you on it. by the way I still see you as the innocent girl so hmu ;)

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  • Yes guys tend to dislike it more, because of the key and the lock principle.

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  • The only way he's got a right to feel offended is if he's a virgin himself. This kind of thing is why in the past people waited till they were married, now you have bull shit relationships with kids all over the place, people raising kids that aren't even theirs. We need to bring back respect for marriage get rid of this absurd notion that people don't have a nature and that men and women don't work a certain way when we can look all around us in nature and see that various animals have distinct mating habits.

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  • If you have had boyfriend, I think it's expected that you also had sex.

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  • Hell no. The other way around. I am really not a fan of being with a Virgin...

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  • If you're 13, and I'm your Dad, then yes. Otherwise, no.

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  • Your guy's a nutcrack. Better leave before he goes psyched out

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  • Being a virgin or not is really not a big deal

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  • 20 yo virgin?

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  • if she lost her virginity the way my girlfriend lost hers (sexually abused and forced to lose it by the guy) then no i won't be disappointed because she had no control over that. if she lost it by being stupid and wanting attention, then yah that's maybe a little disappointing because she gave it to somebody who's likely useless

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