Brutally low self esteem / confidence and to ugly too date?

Everytime I hang out with my friends and we talk about dating and that kind of stuff, I end up feeling so worthless, and I always realize my confidence and self esteem are loooooow. Ipersonally think I look great/okay, but I believe deep down that other people think I'm too ugly and too weird (socially awkward?) to be loved romantically or sexually. This is making me so sad lately.

When we talk about these kind of things in our group of friends, I usually end up sitting there quiet. Not because I don't want to date or have sex, but because I feel that no one would ever want to give me that. This also leads to me feeling anxious and regretting that I didn't say anything.

I'm scared or flirting, and I'm scared of signing up to social media-dating. I have a fear of being "humilitated" or that people that know me in real life will see me on dating apps and laugh. Now I'm 17 and I've never been in a relationship and never even made out with anyone. My anxiety (?) and the way I am is just ruining my life.

What should I do about my brutally low self esteem and low confidence? Can anyone please give me some advice? I'm so tired of feeling like this all the time. I do believe that I deserve to be loved and admired, I'm just scared that it's not possible...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that maybe you should get one friend that is really supportive of you. Also, you should embrace your fear of meeting new people, but not let it control you... it's ok to feel scared, but in the end, if you think a boy or girl is cute, just walk over there and start saying things
    if it is bad thw first time, just remember, you'll get better at it, and your friend always has your back!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you really want to change this situation then I suggest that you work on yourself. Forget about relationships etc for a minute. If you were to get in a relationship with somrone rn and you're in love and for whatever reason they break up with you, you wouldn't be ablr to handle it. your anxiety would go sky high, maybe depression, a even lower self esteem. To avoid that, you need to work on yourself and focus on yourself before getting into any type of relationship!! Your problem is that you're too worried about what others think so you feel like you have a pressure on your shoulder to get into a relationship bc people around you have someone. Please dont think like that even tho theyre your friends many may be getting cheated on or are unhappy. Fast forward change grow you faith!!! changr your style maybe? your hair? if you feel your body isn't what you want it to be then change it go to the gym maybe? there's so many thingd that can help you, if you have acne/skin problems there's so many cheap creams out there that do the job!!! Start new hobbies? find a part time job? pamper yourself once in a while just do something for yourself. Get comfortable in your own skin first, bc you're the only person thats going to stick with 'you' from birth all the way up to death. Once you have done that you will start to see yourself in a different light you sill see your worth and you will start to gain a better perspective of whay YOU want from others/relationships, trust me. Only then will you know and only then will you understand that loving yourself and doing things to increase your self esteem and confidence is the KEY to anything you do and want in life.
    You may think that its easy to talk but im 19 and i was in your shoes beforeand thought if there was something wrong with me, thats when i started to realise i never really took care of myself. Now I've changed and im comfortable in my skin, and i know what i want from a guy/ relationship. So pls read this over and over until you realise, Im sorry if this is too long but i kind of went through what you're going through. Nobody is going to do it for you. I can wrote abook on how to help you but it won't matter if you dont want to change. With the help of God Im free from depression and i believe you will get through this. God bless you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Most people feel like they not good enough. Its a normal feeling. Can you really say that in a world with 6 billion people there isn't someone for you? Dont lose hope

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  • Aww Princess don't take stress... am sure u have beautiful Heart just hàve patience. Good things take time. by the way be Ur own light. Baby no need to feel low. Lol

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  • What is the source of your low self-esteem? Any particular shortcomings or you are just afraid in general?

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  • You’ll find someone.

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