Why do desperate people snap when they don't get what they want?

I was reading an article online ( www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/11/cat-person ) and have ran into events similar from dating websites and dating in general.

I have seen a lot of this attitude from places (subreddit, r/niceguys) as well as friends telling me of said experiences. A lesbian friend of mine has also ran into girls who do this.

Why do people do this? They snap when they can't achieve what they want? What's the point? What do they hope to achieve from this?

A shorter example below:

A: You're beautiful and would like to take you out on a drink.
B: Sorry, not interested.
A: Doesn't matter, you're ugly anyway, bitch.

Yikes... ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
Why do desperate people snap when they don't get what they want??

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Probably because their egos get wounded which to women may not seem like a big deal because they are never in that situation (believe me when I say women act the same way when they put themselves out their and get rejected) or it could be that they have been rejected multiple times (again women generally don't have to experience this) and they are just frustrated and this is the only way for them to feel like they have some kind of control over the situation. Not saying its right, but its also not just malice either.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • They are not nice to begin with and are sexually frustrated. If you sleep with them, they will degrade, stalk and destroy you anyway, they have problems, run.

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    • You riiight. As soon as someone shows signs of this I gtfo lmao

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • Cos rejection hurts. I mean... I'd be more worried if they were happier after.

    They usually haven't been rejected enough when this happens, though. When you go through loads of rejection, you become numb to it, or dead inside to it. So it doesn't effect you as much.

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  • Mental instability, it's a lot more common than people think. No one with any grip on themselves or comprehension of life would think of acting that way.

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  • Its a freudian defense mechanism called rationalization. Its basically to protect the person's dignity.

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  • Lol cuz TV makes it seem like there are heros and villans. And when a guy likes a girl, he gets the girl. Thats because there's too much TV watchin and not enough real interaction. In real life everyone wants to be the hero, but were all just monkies on a big floating rock.

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  • or in my case, trying to say sorry to my girlfriend, she snapped because i apparently was trying too hard or something and she went ballistic on me

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    • Some people can turn out to be very toxic from one second to another... Jeez.. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

  • Guys in particular tend to hide or bottle up their emotions until it becomes too much to handle. In Roberts case and in most cases like this. I think it was a mix of bottled emotions spilling over and feeling hurt by the rejection and a need to release those feelings. In the case of women I would speculate that it was more because of rejection and insecurities but I wouldn't be the best person to ask about that.

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  • Based off your example, it just someone not being able to handle rejection more than being desperate.

    Desperate people are usually frustrated, they feel like they don't have options and/or they feel like they have their backs against the wall.

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  • Its like back in highschool. You got food and everyone wants whats yours. Then they make a tantrum. They're likely to be spoiled and life nor karma has hit them yet. Simply put they are a sprout.

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  • Is an ego boost for some people, due to tons of rejections or from the fact that they feel to good since no one else have rejected them before.

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  • lmao some people can't take rejection i guess

    people have egos and when they can't get what they want it's like their whole world collapses

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  • Because desperate times call for desperate measures. And snap chat is a desperate move in general. Snapchat flings dont last as long as the snaps themselves.

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  • Because they're desperate and it's the only thing they can do

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  • that's called snap?
    I call it showing your true face or making that one not regret rejecting you

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  • Because they're desperate (?)
    You kinda answered your own question there.

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  • People like that are very mentally unstable.

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    • Agreed... Would you call them mentally ill? Not a large illness, but I do believe somethings up if they're just so short circuited.

  • Insecurities get the best of them.

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  • It's called sour grapes

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  • Some people just can't handle the real world

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  • bcz they are sad and frustated inside

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  • Because they're desperate. It's the stress

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What Girls Said 5

  • Because desperate people just get really bitter and they don't know it makes them look stupid. People who are raised to think they can get whatever they want with no effort whatsoever typically end up like this.

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  • I'm not sure what the article has to do with the question? The girl was immature and rude after going out with him so eventually he calls her a name. That's very different from someone asking you out and then acting like a baby when you decline.

    To answer the original q, I don't know. Low self esteem I guess? I had a creep following me around at a bar and I kept telling him I wasn't interested and then he later approaches me like, "oh I don't like you anyway." Then he acted aggressive creepy and fell over being so smash. Complete fool

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    • The end of the article says enough. The whole "Are you? Are you? Are you? Answer me whore." is what I mean.

      People can seem so sweet but snap from a moment to another, moreso some people call it showing their true colours. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

  • iit's called being spoiiled

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  • Idiots are always idiots and jelous

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  • Theyโ€™re probably desperate because their self loathing and impulse control ruins everything, rather than the other way around.

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