Do I initiate the talk?

I'm a sophomore in college and have been talking to my best friend's cousin (let's call him Joe). He also goes to the same college. Anyway, in the beginning he was real adamant about establishing our label (that we were talking). He invited me to meet his family, much to the surprise of my best friend because apparently he's only ever done that with one other girl in high school. He did know at the time that I wasn't really looking for anything serious because I had just gotten out of a relationship. After meeting his family, I told him that I had done thinking and I was pretty ready. I said I didn't know what page he was on, but that I was ready. All he said was "ok, good." Fast forward about a month, and we're still talking I think but he's not really initiating hangouts. He did just have knee surgery and he said been struggling on the pain meds, but he takes hours long respond to texts and has been hanging out with his buddies on weekends instead of initiating a hangout with me. It is finals week, but I'd be content with just sitting my each other studying! I'm so confused... should I meet up with him this week and ask what the heck we are doing? It makes it more complicated because he's my friends cousin! Also, we were in the same class and saw each other a little bit everyday, but that's about it. Help!
by the way we've been talking for about four months


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What Guys Said 2

  • College was a long time ago for me but a few things stand out. One was the glory and excitement of my freshman year with toga parties and unbridled excitement. On the other extreme was finals week. Turn your focus on getting through finals. Then as your question again. He may recover by then and you won't even have to ask.

  • If I’m in his shoes then when I had surgery I would wonder why you did not visit? Otoh you are not officially committed either. But just keep in mind that he may have felt you were stand offish.

    Yeah, you could say, ‘what do you want?’ Or you could ‘accidentally’ mention how guys are hitting on you. Which is not cool to do in an actual relationship but in your situation it’s fine.


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