Am I selfish? Is he shy?

I just don’t find it alluring when a guy constantly tries to get me to notice them or they overly ask too many questions or just pushy altogether. I’m so backwards lol, I like the guys who are mysterious, don’t talk much, and are creative. Like, when you don’t try hard to get me is when I’m attracted to you. My last boyfriend did that and we became friends because we had a lot in common and then we just eased into dating and it was awesome until he moved to Washington:/ but we’re still cordial and friends. This new guy I like is everything like my ex but he doesn’t try with me in any kind of way and I’m so surprised bc so many other guys want me but I don’t want them.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think I would call that selfish and I don't know the new guy is shy, not very interested in you, or just someone that likes staying distant.

    Considering how many women I've seen complain about guys that won't communicate with them enough, if you want a non-communicative guy you should be able to find plenty that other women don't want.

    My personal opinion is that open and honest communication is very important in a relationship, so I'm thinking that in time you might regret selecting the more distant type of guy, but if that's really what you like maybe it will work for you. I think it's going to be hard to have a close relationship with someone like that, but if you don't want a close relationship you might be happy with that where most people wouldn't be.

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    • No you’re right. I do need to start talking to the ones who like me first because I hate to be the chaser but it seems likes that’s exactly what I’m doing with this guy and it’s crazy bc I actually want him but it hurts that he’s not showing any kind of interest me especially when we’ve known each other for a year and been in the same class twice together. I like for the guys to be the chaser. But we need to be equal out here and be honest like you said but it’s hard for me to just walk up and tell a guy I like them and on other when guys constantly hit on me it drives me crazy... all because I think I have daddy issues which leads to trust issues. Working on myself may be more important right now rather than trying to find a boyfriend. I just wanna be happy. thank you for the advice.

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