What stops guys from approaching a girl?

There are a group of guys who have been talking about me for the past few months but they have NEVER initiated anything. Not even a conversation. I have been told they say positive things so I know they like me to some extent. But all they so is just stare and talk about me. Why can’t they just talk fo me? All of them are really outgoing and talk to girls a lot so it makes no sense at all. Please explain!!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's different for a guy to interact with a girl he's into rather than a girl he isn't into. If he's not into a girl, he feels as though he can be himself since he doesn't case much about whether or not she sees him as a potential partner. If he is into a girl, he feels like he has to watch what he says around her and not say the wrong thing or else he's locked himself out of a relationship with her. The best way to avoid that, the guy thinks, is to just not interact with her. So that's why guys avoid girls they like.

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    • Yup, it fucking sucks lol.

    • That’s sweet in a way! I just hope they know I’m a nice person and would never respond negatively if they ever talked to me.

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What Guys Said 8

  • A lot of guys, including me get nervous about saying something to a girl that is beautiful or pretty. I honestly feel insecure with how I look when I ever think to walk up to a girl and ask for a number or get to know her. I'm not sure that's how every guy feels though.

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    • Aww.. I wouldn’t consider myself that pretty though lol. That’s why I’m confused. If she is worth your time, she will respond positively :)

  • I think the plan is to make you feel as you do now. Here's an idea: stop thinking about them. Maybe one of them is gathering the courage to talk to you, and has told the others not to make a move. Or your seeing the wrong signs and are stressing yourself for nothing.

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  • The fear of rejection or ridicule (being made fun of) could be a reason. Unless they are performing the most elaborate game of tease to get you to ask them what's going on.

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  • Shyness I would say is the biggest thing.

    Do you approach the guys at all? For many guys it can be an awkward thing to do, although this passes the more times the guys asks a girl out, and realises he won't die if he does so.

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    • I approached two of then once. They both have a girlfriend now and one of the two apparently had a crush on me before he got in the relationship. One of them was super chill and the other who apparently had a crush was kind of awkward but super polite! He still stares sometimes

  • You're probably really hot. Approaching/talking to a female that's very attractive can be extremely intimidating to a lot of guys.

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    • That’s flattering but their friends are really attractive. Two of them even have a girlfriend now. And one of the two apparently had a crush on me before he got in a relationship. So I don’t understand how he could ask her out but not me?

    • Well since they've never even initiated a conversation with you, What's stopping you from initiating one with them?

      Why don't you start a conversation by asking them why they've never tried to talk TO You? Lol

    • I did lol. It’s funny cause I talked to the two guys who are now in a relationship. One of them was actually enthusiastic about it and the other was just awkward but really polite. I asked him to donate to a charity and he went out of his way to get money and then get his friend to as well. At the end of our conversation, he suddenly said “have a good day” as I was about to walk away. I don’t know if any of it meant anything but it was nice of him to say/ do:)

  • Hi there.😂😂😂

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  • Fear of rejection

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    • What doesn’t make sense to me is that two of them even have a girlfriend now. I don’t get how they had enough courage to ask them out but couldn’t ask me?

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    • I don’t think so and no

    • One of them told my friend’s friend that he and the group thinks I’m “really pretty” but I doubt I’m more attractive

  • Self-esteem, pride.

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