How to get my boyfriend to quit smoking?

So my boyfriend is a smoker. When we are together, just him & I, he will rarely smoke but once he it out at friends he will. He says he isn’t that addicted as he can go days/ weeks without wanting to smoke and can go cold turkey if he wants to. He plans to quit at age 30 because that’s when the problems of smoking start (apparently) However I really want to bring up the conversation for him to stop smoking sooner and I don’t know how to do it in a way that he will understand where I am coming from. Is this possible? Would you consider quitting smoking if your girlfriend asked you to?
  • I wouldn’t quit smoking if my SO asked me tk
    Vote A
  • I would quit smoking
    Vote B
  • Don’t say anything to him
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • When you do mention often that you come up with that topic because you worry about his health. And simply claim that you talked with a doctor and therefore know for a FACT that bad things can happen before the age of 30. Its not like his body will be like "oh I should have lung cancer now.. BUT WAIT Im not 30 yet!" he could still get it before. Simply tell him that you worry and if he claims something to show that you're wrong, ask him for prove. He can't. Because all he's saying is based on assumptions.

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    • That’s really helpful thanks, I just don’t want him to take it the wrong way. We are serious about each other and see our future together I just don’t want to have a family with a father who is suffering from the effects of smoking

    • This is also something you should tell him LITERALLY like that. Good luck!

    • Ty for BA! Did it work?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm a smoker & been with two guys who didn't smoke. One didn't mind & the other started minding when we moved in together (& I didn't even smoke inside, I went outside for that).
    I always told him he knew what he was signing up for from the beginning- I never made it a secret & told him I won't mind going outside, but I won't stop.
    I fear you've agreed on him being a smoker when you first decided to date him knowing all that. It's his choice, not yours. You can ask him & he might do it for you, but he doesn't have to oblige.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Yes, I would highly support bringing it up soon. The quicker you get off smoking, the better your life gets. Tell him that you are seriously worried for his health and that its really bothering you and I imagine he will stop if he is a good boyfriend.

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    • True. I just don’t want to be seen as controlling or tying to change him etc. I am just generally worried about it

    • I understand your concern, but you truly would be changing him for the better

  • So I was one of the few people who said that you shouldn't say anything. I have a fairly well thought out reason as to why I feel you shouldn't, and here it is: CHANGE HAPPENS WITHIN THE MIND. You need to accept the fact that whatever you want to change needs to be changed before any change you make will take. The smoker needs to fundamentally decide that his habit is no longer worth the risk before he will quit. If you try to get him to quit earlier, it will be needless confrontation and he won't even quit for good.

    I am/was like your boyfriend in that I was never a heavy smoker, and I could always go weeks and months at a time without wanting a cigarette. But it was only after I changed my mind about smoking, and no longer saw it as a desirable or acceptable behavior that I could totally kick the habit. Even in the times that I would decide to quit, I would always end up buying a pack one day to test myself and would end up slowly starting up again.

    The two really big things that happened for me to want to quit were :

    1. I had a female acquaintance look at me one day when she was waiting for me and a mutual friend to finish our cigs in the bitter cold. She asked me if smoking a cigs warmed me up, when I told her "no, because Nicotine constricts your blood flow" she asked me why I would smoke a cigarette in the cold if it would just make me colder.

    2. I started to notice the number of times that my smoker friends would hold up what we were doing as a group so they could go smoke cigs.

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    • I agree with you, it has to be something he wants to change and not seen as me being annoying and wanting to change him. I think that’s why I am so hesitant to bring up the topic with him but at the same time it honestly worries me a lot because I care so much about him that I don’t want to lose him to the consequences of smoking.

    • Don't bring up the topic then, just try and lead a healthy lifestyle and encourage him to follow you.

  • if my SO wanted me to quit i'd try to quit not only for them but myself.

    there is no science on earth that says smoking doesn't start negatively affecting you til age 30. tell him you are concerned for his health and would love it if he quit sooner than later. tell him that you will be a support for him in any way possible

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  • You can support him if he does, but you can't make that choice for him sadly...

    And really, so much damage will be already done at 30, he should stop asap...

    You can keep him informed of the dangers of smoking, and remind him occasionally but putting pressure on him will probably just damage your relationship.

    Maybe you can find out why he smokes? Find out what activity/mood makes him forget about smoking for the longest time and nudge him in that direction

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  • I've been chain smoking for 8 years and average a pack a day some times 2 .. so preaching health crap will not work... I'm glad vapes came around so just surprise him with vape and some store recommended flavors and see if he could substitute cigarettes for vaping... It took me 1 year to quit when I received a vape so it's possible he can

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  • he isn't addicted... lol
    brah... it;s nicotine... everyone gets addicted to nicotine... period

    if he can quit now he would... he can't thats why he's making up bullshit... denial mode
    and no the more you smoke young... the more risk you are at

    make it him quit.. you can't unless he admits he's actually addicted and it's a problem lol

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    • He says it’s as addicted as sugar is to the normal person... I’ve seen him go over a week without a cigarette so I know he has the willpower to quit it’s just that he doesn’t see a reason too :/

    • Show All
    • I agree with you, it’s how I always felt towards this topic. So how do I approach it if I wanted to discuss it with him?

    • They have a saying
      Once a smoker always a smoker. A smoker has to fight the urge for ever
      They are always at risk of smoking vs someone whoes never touched it before

      Like you can quit 30 years and easily pick one up

      I mean its going to be hard. Because he doesn't wanna stop and he's kinda in that i cm stop anytime mode so its no biggie
      I think ever smoker has said that at some point lol. Crack heads say it. Pot smokers. Coke addicts.

      Ayiiii try doing more athletic stuff? Maybe if he pushes himself more atheltically he will notice the downgrade in air flow from smoking even casually
      I dunno what do you think you can do?

  • I can't say anything because I don't really understand how addicting it is and how compelled I would be to changed though but you should talk to him because it's bad for your health as well and it's disgusting. I'd never date a smoker.

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  • Say something once and only once that way he knows how you feel. Don't be suprised if he doesn't quit though. People will rarely quit until they themselves are ready.

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  • I’m a smoker person and Smoking is a killer habit.
    There’s not really much you can offer he already knows that cigarettes kill : )
    Unless he’s willing to do it himself don’t bother the talk : )

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  • Let him be.. he isn’t addicted.’
    And a ciggi is something definitely not wroth to come in between the love of you two please.

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  • TRY "NICOTEX GUM" !!
    p. s. this is not advertising !!

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  • I get where your coming from but at the end of the day it's his choice, besides he plans to quit so why bring it up

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  • very difficult if he is not ready and willing to give up

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  • You can't make him quit

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  • I would quit smoking

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  • Smoking is nasty. Waste of health and money

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  • You can't get him to quit, unless he admits he has a problem, and right now, he doesn't see his smoking as a problem. After all, you're dating him, while he's still smoking

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What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him why you want him to quit smoking

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