Girls, need some advice. I like a girl at work however I slept with a different girl at work. What should I do?

there's a girl at work that I like and the feeling is mutual. We've flirted and socialised at work and work events for the past 4 months however I've never actually asked her out. I tend to be quite shy when it comes to asking someone I like out. Trying to have a decent chat with her is difficult given my work life (always in meetings or traveling) however I make the most of it when I can. She'll often go out of her way to spend time with me when we're away from the office such as bumping into each other during the morning coffee run or during lunch.

Before I started liking her, I slept with one of the other girls in the office after a work function got out of hand. Complete idiot, let the alcohol get the better of me. I told the girl I slept with it was a mistake and that it shouldn't have happened, we both agreed and decided to keep it secret. Recently (after a few drinks) she let it slip to higher management that things were awkward between us after that night. She didn't say exactly what happened however the rumours begun.

The stickiness to this situation is all the girls at my office are very close. Lunch dates, social media socialising, etc. All similar to your typical highschool girl group behaviour I guess.

My concern is that if I were to ask the girl I like out, the story could eventually catch up to me and ruin everything especially in the early days. I have full intentions to be honest with her if she were to ask but for obvious reasons I'd rather not tell anyone what happened.

My gut is telling me to just ask her as it should all work out for the best but I keep getting roadblocks/ obstacles coming my way which are basically telling me to back away and avoid the situation.

My first question is this, how would you feel/ react if you were her.

A) if we go out and you later found out about the other girl and,
B) prior to me asking, you found out about what happened?

My second question is, should I ask her out or cut my loses?

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What Girls Said 1

  • It seems like you've already decided to ask her out but are more concerned about the reaction from The Office.

    (A) I would ask her out. Gauge the reaction and if its a yes, then tell her about the office hook-up.
    (B) These things happen. Of course, its not ideal but we live in a fast-moving society and the office girl said yes just as much as you did.

    I would keep it all quiet though as you know misery loves company and people love to drop hints, spread gossip and make things difficult in situations like this.

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