Why do guys insist on wearing the trousers in a relationship?

like my boyfriend has to be the one who’s more in control
why?
are all guys like that?
do you feel like you should be older and taller than your girl?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is true that many men tend to be dominant in this respect, and on the other side, it is true that many women prefer a strong, decided man by their side. This dual fact answers partly this question.

    Deeper inside, at psychoanalysis level, men tend to emulate the paternal figure of guidance and protection (which can lead to overprotection or control), and women tend to seek in a man that sense of protection.

    This is not mathematical. In my actual relationship, trousers are shared depending on the day and/or the mood. And I don't intend to impose neither my will, nor my believes, to her. But it is true that I try to guide her specially when she goes through emotional states (such as those provoked by hormonal imbalances such as PMS, being pregnant or giving birth). But sometimes too I go through my own PMS (i. e. excess of testosterone, which is often season related) and I have insecurities or act erratically, and my wife has put on the trousers and has put me back in the track - sometimes with a dominant behavior, sometimes with more sutile guidance.

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    • PS: I mentioned hormonal imbalances as an expample, but also external factors in life affect our insecurities and social behavior.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's 2018 just about. That whole nonsense about one person being in charge was done away with in the 1960s.

    Ifyou don't agree to him being the boss all the time, if he never even asked if you wanted that kind of relationship, he's being kind of a dick.

    If it's something you both want, then write out a contract more or less - what he's allowed to control, what he isn't, what your limits are.

    Don't give up your personal autonomy just because *shrug*.

    This kind of relationship is really only ethical if it's intentional and consensual.

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What Guys Said 33

  • Because. That's why.

    If you had lots of testosterone, you'd understand too.

    Now, equality is important, so really this should only apply to sex and physical stuff, but do you mean he thinks he should have the final say in *all* things, like in all relationship stuff? Because a relationship is about people being on equal footing-- just not in the bedroom.

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  • I never cared much about height, but I do like to lead in the relationship. The reason I like to lead is that many women don't seem to be able to make up their minds. The women I tend to get to the point of dating with are more submissive in nature, and like having their partner take charge for that reason.

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  • Because that's really the only way the dynamic in a relationship works. it's onset by our biology. If a man is constantly acting feminine and waiting for the woman to take charge and lead the relationship, then she will be intrinsically turned off. It will lead to resentment on both sides and ultimately end up in failure.

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  • social roles stereotype guys as being in control.

    i don't give a shit personally. i'll do what i like, she can do what she likes, and we will negotiate if they conflict with each other.

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  • It probably has something to do with our biological nature and the subconscience perception of strength or "keeping your woman nearby" sort of thing. Also, it's sort of hard for women to realize but if Men can't be Men then there isn't really much else in a Males life.

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    • @krishmas What do you personally mean by if men can't be men there isn't really much else in a males life?

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    • If you were to take out out biological purpose then everything else in our existence would be pointless.

    • Our*

  • In my experience, the girl never wanted control. "What do you want to do? " "I dunno, you choose. "

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  • Trust me. Any decision a woman wants to make for certain, she'll get her way. She doesn't generally want to be in charge all the time though. They actually get irate and fickle and annoyed if they have to make all the decisions.

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  • It's just the way most men and women are. Not everything can be explained away so easily, but it doesn't make it any less apparent that it's true

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  • Not all guys are like that. But it's more common for the guy to want to be the dominant one.

    I definitely feel I want to be the older one. I like short chicks, but it's not a deal breaker.

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  • why do girls demand control but when shit gets rough always hide behind the guy? if you want control then be consistent.

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  • No, all guys aren't like that.

    What does being older and taller have anything to do with this (unless I missed something)?

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  • Because men are dominant and women are submissive. And most women want the guy to be more in control, take the initiative and lead the relationship.

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  • Because it's always been a social norm. One that could change, but probably won't

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  • Lol @ that.

    A relationship isn't about control.
    If your competing for control get out... now.

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  • here's the deal. we are made that way. in the Bible it was Adam charged with the fall of people not Eve

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    • no. Eve was blamed for the fall of man which is why se was forced to be subservient.

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    • he listened to her so obviously he was not in control.

    • Genesis 3:16 16To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

      Looks like man was to be in control not woman if going by the bible

  • Because we can't wear a skirt, duh. Besides, y'all love it.

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  • Because when we are young, we are soo caught up with people think about us. Without women, men would be nothing. Put your foot down in private.

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  • Not all, but most. Yes, I'm like that. No, I don't have to be older, but I do have to be taller.

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  • if I had sex I wouldn't mind handing the wheel over to my girl

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  • Duh, we are raised to be leaders not the easy stay at home and do basic chours.

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  • Personally I feel emasculated if I'm not "wearing the trousers" in the relationship. Granted that I go to a very rich college and am constantly surrounded by people much wealthier than I am, it's very big "turn off" for me, but that's something I need to work on... And of course all guys aren't like that, and good for those that aren't like this as it shows that they're very secure in who they are... And to answer your last question her being older doesn't really matter to me, but height doesn't, but I'm 6'4" sooooo lol

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  • relationships are about two people compromising

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  • Would look stupid wearing a skirt.

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  • Some girls are easy.

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  • Nah, lot's of bitch males exist. But nowadays even they're not having it.

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  • It's just nature. Think about what each gender is attracted to in the opposite sex. Women prefer masculine (strong, confident, capable, powerful) men. Men prefer feminine women. The characteristics that make a man masculine are consistent with dominance, and the ones that make a women feminine are consistent with submissiveness.

    Ladies, you cannot want a masculine man and expect him not to be dominant. That's just silly.

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  • Actually, I prefer girls on trousers ;)
    Not just as in clothes, I also prefer a girl in control.

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  • Yes, I think it's in our nature. Also women tend to prefer a man who can take the lead and don't tend to respect men who can't.

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  • Guys have higher testosterone which makes them more fierce, territorial they feel they must be stronger, wealthier , cleverer , more successful than any other male. And if they meet a male who threatens any of those traits they become defensive or do everything in there power to become better than that man. It all dates back to Stone Age when a woman would effectively urinate on a mans territory to attract him if he was deemed successful by thick fur coats and plenty of meat he was a successful hunter , and strong. A provider. If you bust your bfs nuts he feels vulnerable , not good enough potentially he feels another" better man may take his place "

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  • I only ever dated women who are looking for the kind of man who wears the pants. That didn't mean that in business or practice she could not be a tiger and a in charge woman. But between us I would be the leader. I do like taller women but not way over my head. Age never mattered much to me. I want to be able to kiss her while we dance and feel her breast against my chest when she presses.

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What Girls Said 6

  • This is pride and this is normal. They want to be the head... But women are the neck... ;)

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    • you are very dangerous

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    • @Analinda1999 true but she means that when the nick moves the head moves

    • @omda-aden

      i know what she meant -i've heard it before #mybigfatgreekwedding ;p

      thing is its poor bc the head tells the neck to move... which is the idea of controlling things behind the scenes. you dont its just an illusion. if its not above board then its not real.

  • Because they don't want to wear the dress in the relationship 👗 :o

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  • you should both be in control of yourselves and not out to control each other.

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  • It's just how they have been raised.

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  • Not my boyfriend, I wear trousers all the time, and I'm in control.

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  • he likes to be dominant

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