I'm [25/m] dating [20/f] former lover and she's being hot and cold. Need advice on how to proceed?

I've been dating a former lover for about 1.5 months now. We haven't had sex on this second go yet. We had sex a bunch before though when we first dated. She got out of a relationship a few months ago and doesn't want one now. I told her I'm cool with casually dating, which I am.

Anyways she won't kiss me and only wants to cuddle when we're alone. I have given her a massage and kissed her body but she wouldn't let me kiss her lips. I tried to kiss her last week and she said no. We then cuddled and I started kissing her body and she freaked out and left. I thought she was into it cause she was grinding into me and seemed to be enjoying it. Since then we've barley communicated and I apologized a few times for going to far.

She's now contacting me and told me she isn't interested in a relationship with me now or in the future. She says she has fun hanging out but that's it. She then says she didn't want to get intimate because it would lead me on. She wants continue hanging out and talking. I then told her if she wants to talk she can come over this week and talk to me in person. She's coming over tonight. How do I proceed?

I like this girl but honestly don't see a relationship with her at least at this time. I don't view her as just a friend and want to continue casually dating but I want to add sex to the equation. How do I express this?


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Guys Said 1

  • You say very clearly “I don’t want a relationship with you, I just want a decent fuck”. If she’s not interested, you accept and respect her decision and move on.

    • Well I talked to her over text.

      I told her today that I'd like to continue casually dating but I want to be intimate too. I said I can hold off until we're both conformable but if I'm dating someone I want that aspect at some point.
      She claims I just want to have sex with her. Which isn't true. I enjoy talking, going out and hanging out with her too but if I'm dating someone I said obliviously I want to be intimate too. If she doesn't want to see me then so be it. It sucks but at least she knows where I'm coming from.

Recommended myTakes