Did I ruin my chance?

There is this guy at my university that I did not know very well a short time ago. Step by step he started to shower me with his attention and at first I was a bit taken aback.

Every time we were in a group of people, he would somehow always keep the focus of the conversation on me. He would greet me very enthusiastic when I walked by with friends, tease me again and again, look into my eyes for longer that I felt was normal and touch me on my arm/back at some times.

I really thought he was making fun of me since I am rather blind when it comes to these things.

However, when I started to get to know him better and realized his interest in me was genuine and he was not making fun of me, I opened up to him, started teasing him back etc and started to feel at ease in his company.

I started looking forward to seeing him and could hardly get him out of mind and everything was wonderful until I realized something. I was with a couple of friends that day and he came to us with his friends and started to talk with me. Afterwards my friends were grinning at me and said "He kept flirting with you all the time. He is totally into you!" Since I am really blind when it comes to these things, I could not believe them at first. However, something in me felt beyond ecstatic after hearing those words.

That's were the problems began. I realized he might like me. I was SURE I was totally into HIM! Every time I saw him, I would turn red, I was not able to talk to him coherently anymore and just kept quiet to not make a fool of myself. He kept trying to keep the conversation alive, but I was suddenly unable to answer in more than two words. It was horrible.

I had no problem answering his text messages, but every time I stood in front of him my mouth would just not open and now he does not even text message me anymore.

Holidays have started which means I will not see him for 3 months. I have not seen him for 2weeks and I am nearly going crazy. What should I do? I am sure I have frightened him off. I tried to stay calm, but it did not work and he has probably lost his interest. My friends tell me to move on, but it is not that easy. I cannot get him out of mind and he has not answered my to my message.

I do not want to seem desperate and write him again. I really do not know what to do.


Most Helpful Guy

  • give him a buzz babe. can't do any harm! I wouldn't be suprised at all if he still would like to get to know you better, there is another semester to go. I would definitely just give him a call, and be friendly about it, but explain to him that you got tongue tied etc etc. guys love that sort of thing. if he is into you, or was ever into you this is your best bet. if he wasn't ever into you(and it doesn't sound like that's the case) then at least you can move on.

    honesty is the best policy! is what my mum always said :-p have a chat to him!


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What Guys Said 2

  • as a guy he tried, getting ur attention and even tried virtually talk you into it.but there are certain limits defined in any kinda relation.since he was not able to spark the same in you.3 months might make it worse.

    when you were friends, guess it was pretty cool between you too.call him as a friendly gesture and let him know how you feel (if his interest is genuine.he would surely reply).he is not scared just not able to understand where it went wrong. :-)

  • I'm going to say this in the nasty way I can, because I think this is a cruel to be kind situation.

    Okay so there was this chap who liked you. You were way too cautious and took things too slow. Now you won't see this bloke for 3 months, so effectively your "potential" relationship is on a sabbatical.and what do you? Carry on making the same mistake you made at the start, being too shy and cautious approaching men. YOUR AT F&$KING COLLEGE. Start acting like it. Have some fun.

    Did you ruin you chances with the guy? Who knows?, who cares?, you'll find out in 3 months. Stop being shy, get a bit of self confidence and then start looking around you for boys/men who are available in the here and now. You have the right to have a boy friend and wasting your summer culling over a boy isn't going to help you. Start flirting with boys/men, have some fun and then improve your social skills so after the summer when you back with this chap you won't get tonge tied all over again.

    • If it was just that simple to forget him, I would !!!!You cannot just turn off being shy and being shy has nothing to do with low self confidence!You cannot just turn off your feelings for a person either only because some things don't go the way you want to.

      He did contact me again and everything was f***king fine in the last couple of days, but today I found out that this guy is such a two-faced-b**tard who already has a gf,so I will have to get over him anyway.

    • Tushay

What Girls Said 1

  • Just play it cool. Try calling him but not regularly.