I am obsessed with this guy and I can't stop being obsessive and possessive. How do I stop this?

I'm now experiencing my first kind of relationship but I'm always sitting here thinking about where he goes, who he hangs out with, if there's any girls, if he sees someone other than me. I can't sleep right now because he's gone out and still hasn't come back and I can't stop thinking about it. What's wrong with me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's your boyfriend right? That means he's chosen you, in front of all the other girls he knows.

    Of course, things might change in the future but worry about that when you come to it, instead of worrying about nothing now.

    And don't look through his phone or emails. It's very bad manners to read other people's correspondence.

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    • I can't call him my boyfriend unfortunately. It's a strange situation, he's my next door neighbor, things just happened. It's 3 AM here and he has just come back with his roommate. They went somewhere because I saw them buying beers. I'm sorry but I can't help but think he's doing something bad.

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    • But I like him a lot and I think it's pretty normal to have certain thoughts or fears and doubts

    • No it's not normal, it sound bunny boilerish. You hooked up a while ago and it's obvious there's a difference of understanding about the nature of the relationship. Why don't you just talk to him about it?

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's normal to feel like you can't take your mind off something that is so new and exciting. Just try to remind yourself not to be a crazy bitch haha you'll be fine. As you get used to thing a this will slow down.

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What Guys Said 13

  • It's an everyday exercise. It takes self confidence and confidence on your partner. Telling the truth is essential here. You have to trust that, should anything happen, you will tell each other and will figure it out. Truth also helps to know each other and to evaluate whether the relation is the right one for you or not. Being truthful to yourself and knowing what each other want eases the mistrust.

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  • This is normal. Lot of new stuff coming at you all at once. Best thing you can do is just relax. Sit and listen to some music or something. Run a bath, enjoy yourself

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  • sounds like he needs to run away fast cuz girls like you don't really make relationships fun.

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    • He's always done what he wanted to do and I've never shown any signs of paranoia while with him but these thoughts are real and exist

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    • Honestly, I have no idea. I just feel extremely stupid right now. And tomorrow I know I'll try to avoid him. This is an immature reaction, I know.

    • well there's nothing to feel stupid about. you're still learning how to be in a relationship but the best way is to always communicate not hide. tell him how you feel and see how he responds

  • some people actually enjoy if their girlfriend being possessive, problem is that it's rare to find a guy enjoy their girlfriend being too possessive to them. so just make sure you find the correct person to be with.

    try to do things to keep your mind busy. because obsessive about a person often cause people to think negatively.

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  • He's lucky.
    I've had girlfriends who couldnt even give a shit who i was with. Its like they expect me to not attract any other girls.
    I personally want a girl who is as jealous and protective like you. Makes me feel like the only penis in the world

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  • Go with the flow dear. Wht u r doing or feeling isn't anything bad...

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  • Nothing wrong its normal.
    And your love towards him is true.
    That's why you are feeling fear.

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  • Let it pass, when you catch yourself doing it, let it pass.

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  • Madam this is defination of love. Congrats you are deeply in love.

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  • You need help

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  • Just recognise your self worth.

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  • Ask him out

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  • Take a shit in your hand and smush it in your face real hard like

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What Girls Said 8

  • i feel the same about my current boyfriend. my advice is to find a way to get over it because it will destroy the relationship over time.. im speaking from experience. im going through it. :/

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  • You need to learn to trust him. Go out with your friends and forget him for a little bit he needs his time with mates and stuff too

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  • Its hard to stop it. Tell him that you like him and if he acts like a douche bag after that he really isn't worth it.

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  • I dealt with this kind of obsessive behavior in the early years of my marriage. My heart would pound every time I thought about what he was doing at work or when I was at work. This obsessive behavior cause a lot of anxiety, distrust, fights and pain.

    I know it is easy to just say, but you kind of have to throw the thoughts away before they enter your brain.

    If you feel yourself starting to think about thinks like that you have to redirect your thoughts. It is the only way. Nothing he says or does will reassure you.

    If the guy is trustworthy you don't want to drive him away by not trusting him because of personal issues.

    I know it is hard, but redirecting your thoughts will help the thoughts stop existing. Believe me.

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  • Is he your boyfriend?

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    • Not really, I mean we're getting to know each other

    • In that case it's best to give it time and some space, I know that's really hard but you don't want to come across clingy.

  • Get rid of your phone

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  • Just Wait It Out It'll Fade Away

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  • move on

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