Boyfriend Kept Present from Ex?

So my boyfriend has a butterfly picture hanging on his wall in his bedroom. When we started dating, I commented that I liked it and asked who it was from and he said a friend made it for him. I recently found out by accident (not from him) that his ex girlfriend of five years made it for him and every time I am in his room I see it and it drives me crazy. We have only been together a few months and I feel so weird about it. I told him I trashed everything my ex gave me because that is what I always do and he said he gave back or trashed everything too. I do not want to talk to him about it, he harbors a lot of anger towards her because she cheated a lot and they had a bad relationship in the end. But can someone ease my mind and tell me what they think? I am trying to be understanding, but I need it explained why you would keep something like that?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First I personally wouldn’t keep something like that if I had a bad relationship with that person. BUT if he does hate her that much (some of my friends do this) they would keep an picture of them in their wallets (in your case in his room) and when thing get hard they look at the picture and say “if I can survive dating this bitch, I can survive anything” or it’s a constant reminder to treat their partner the way they want to be treated not how that person (the person in the photo) treated them.

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    • I like your perspective, I never thought of it like that. thank you

Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean if he was so angry with her he wouldn't want something hanging around to remind him of her. Guys always say they hate their ex but its actually the opposite a lot of times. I never hold unto the shit my exes gives me.

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    • They were together five years. Even though he tells me shit she did (and yeah it was wacky) I dont think you stay with someone for five years and just bare through it... I hate keeping shit because it was given to me by someone who no longer has any value in my life, so I never understood why someone would want to

    • Me either but people are different. I don't want anything from an ex anywhere near me but that's just me.

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What Guys Said 2

  • The picture, I would guess, has sentimental value to him and he likes it too.
    He's either got mixed feelings about his ex or his feelings for the picture are divorced for her. Perhaps it represents a nice time in his life.
    For you, It's now going to be a reminder of his ex which I'm guessing will not sit well so you either live with it or request he take it down to make space for you. Perhaps you provide a replacement.

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    • I would never ask him to take it down. I want to respect his feelings and his wishes. I just never knew anybody kept anything for sentimental reasons, I always felt the need to get rid of stuff even if the relationship didn't end poorly. If he wants it up there it obviously means something to him. I was concerned it means he still had feelings for her?

    • Most people have some feeling towards an ex even if they would see them dead in a gutter, they had it good once.
      Many would also hold onto keepsakes. You obviously like a completely clean sheet but I'm guessing most do not.

  • I think you should let him keep it like maybe it represented something he felt changed him or shaped him. But i think best is to ask him what does it mean to him

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