Am I wrong for wanting this?

I just wish my boyfriend was more romantic. Like I know they usually say guys aren’t as romantic as girls... but I know guys who are. He’s a very simple guy & that’s okay, I just wished the things I did for him he did for me. Surprise cards just with something I wrote saying how much I appreciate him with a flower & his favorite candy after he gets off of work. Little notes I always write him, or just baking him something he likes & giving it to him after work nice & wrapped. I don't know those little notes & cards mean something to me. Just hhow I love the idea of a surprise date. And his response was “does it really have to be a surprise” so I just simply said no it’s okay, he takes offense to a lot so if I when I told him can we do this more romantically he got upset and when I told him I want to have a really special day I said something so simple get rose pedals around the house, he loves candles I said light candles do it romantically he just really didn’t catch on to it. But what he did do that I appreciated was slow dance with me, I just wish I could get stuff like that more often. I don't know little things count to me not materials... am I wrong?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're wrong to expect them, yes. You're not wrong to desire them, however.
    Here's the thing; guys are socialized show their appreciation in substantial ways, not in the little things. How does your wife know you love her? You support her. You protect her, make sure she's safe and warm and fed, even if you are none of these things. You give her a haven, and go out and bring home the bacon. THAT is how you show your love, with sacrifice.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I think I won’t date a girl who wants “romantic” stuff. A bunch of meaningless object I spent money on because I “love” you. I don’t know about other people but love is better than that.

    Besides people show their love in different ways. You have to learn each others love language (look it up.)

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    • See you didn’t read close enough I said I don’t care about material. Like I said I write him letters or notes not everything revolves money

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    • Exactly. So this is my way of showing it.

    • It’s not how YOU show it (it might be.) it’s how you want him to show it, now how he naturally wants to show it. You have to be cognizant of that and instead of it being a problem y’all communicate about it.

  • Talk to his mother and she can give him a small hint, i know loads of guys who are romantic like me but I know there are guys who are only romantic when they want their leg over.

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  • Yeah I don't think I know any guy like that I'll do stuff for my girl but all of it is advise from my mother lol it's just not part of most guys nature

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  • You're not wrong. I think it doesn't really hurt for him to consider start doing these things.

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  • I feel like I'm more romantic than most girls i know

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  • Well im very romantic i need it somehow it s so sweet

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  • sorry but a lot of guys just aren't like that

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  • Not at all!!

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  • Yeah

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  • Not at all. And that’s awesome! I always still get flowers just because and not for an occasion. Notes in lunches , etc makes us know we are really thinking of each other. We sometimes add sex coupons in with a note to make that person have to think about what they have to wait forall day to get later. I love a girl who loves those things and does them vice versa too. In fact one of my gotos especially on weekends is I love to spoil her with a nice home cooked dinner and then lead her to bed where nice candles are lit. Strip and lay her down with a nice glass of wine and give her a nice hour to two hour full body oil massage. I make it very relaxing and very sensual working all the body parts. I use my hands everywhere and go slow and take my time and I kiss and blow soft air all over her. I work down and give her a long oral session too and at the end of that time we both usually can’t take it anymore and have really amazing intimate love making! How would that work for you?

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  • Back off, he's taking you for granted. You don't know what you have until it's gone. You don't have to just up and leave, but, back off a little bit, see what he does

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well if you're doing all those things you should get at least something back, maybe you can talk to him again and ask why he never does something back and that it hurts you. Or you can just quit doing things for him and aee what happens

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  • I feel you 😕 my guy isn't the type to jump at an opportunity like that but he's getting better. He knows I like doing really cute things so nowadays he'll suggest it and honestly it makes me so happy when he does. Talk with him and ask him if he could do it sometime. Not often, maybe every few months or so. Maybe he'll start doing it voluntarily then

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  • The key: always tell and repeat what you want. It will reach his mind some day and sink deep there and he will act. And he will also change as he gets older. Don't give up honesty! Always tell him what you want!!! He must know it. Don't bother that he gets upset about it. Be upset you too that he ignores your wishes. Be a woman!

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