How to stay motivated to ask people out after two rejections?

Im being more assertive and I've asked two guys out this year. It was pretty obvious these guys liked me but were on the shy side. Both guys said yes. Neither of them actually ended in dates. One guy canceled with no plans to reschedule then popped up later wanting to see me. I swiftly sent him on his way. Along with my assertiveness I am dodging flakes as well.

The other guy got pissed because I couldn't go out the day he suggested and things got weird there. I chose not to followup because I don't need drama. But this third guy I'm interested in.. He seems to check all my boxes and he's funny, kind and I think we'd really hit it off. He seems to flirt with me too.

Although I didn't get rejected exactly I see half of me running out of gas with asking a third guy out. This voice in my head is asking if I misread signals, what if he has a girlfriend, what if he isn't interested? What if it amounts to nothing? Plus I'm shy.

I know guys face ten times the rejection and 2 really isn't that impressive, but it's a huge deal to me. I'd appreciate any advice and tips.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Only two. No problem. I have been estranged from my wife for 10 years and separated for one year. I can't really say I've had any successful dates. No women where I work and none where I live. There women on the dating sites don't seem interested in anything.

    If you get rejection number three, give me a call, I won't reject you. Good luck in the meantime.

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    • Lmao that's hilarious. You keep trying too!

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    • Great quote. Years ago, there were a few very dynamic people where I work. I wrote applications that got national recognition and everything about my life was golden. They aren't around and my wife stole all of my emotional reserves. I'm stuck trying to get enough attention so I can get the same mindset that makes me shine. I am fortunate to have found a place where I can get the kind of support and feedback you just did. We are all in this thing together and I am extremely grateful for your support. Now I just need to keep that in mind when I rewrite my profile.

    • Glad to help. My advice is to keep your profile, light hearted and simple. Short , sweet to the point but not too much information leaving the person wanting to know more. It's helped me.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Go for it again! What's the worst that will happen? Sure, you may get rejected, but it's better to get over that crush sooner rather than later, as feelings don't readily change.

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  • You just got build the trust and ve sneaky when asking them. You gotta ask how they feel about you in a way that isn't obvious but natural. That way say if things dont work out, you still have your pride and can move on

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  • You keep going. Understand that rejection is them exercising the right of free will. You are still an awesome person.

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    • I'm not upset they canceled the dates. They turned out to be jerks who weren't that nice to me. But it's also causing me to second guess myself and how I want to go about things.

    • i think you shouldn't give up because of a little set back. They were jerks. There are plenty of guys that are not

  • Oh my, two rejections.

    As a guy, I give you zero sympathy. Try again

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    • Yes I know guys get rejected more but this has been in a 5month span and I don't usually put myself out there so... I'm learning and trying to stay motivated.

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