So, I had a terrible week of stress. When I’m under the weather emotionally, I get clingy and insecure.
I didn’t have a reply from him like I usually do, so when I seen he had been online I immediately assumed he was talking to someone else - I know I was completely overreacting.
So I said this to him and said I don’t wanna waste his time if he wanted to use his time for someone else (he’s got a tough job), and that he didn’t have to reply to me anymore. I left it like that for a day until I calmed down so I could talk sensibly. Cause I completely regretted reacting like that.
When I seen his message today, it was a long one explaining why he’d been online (to talk to a friend he hadn’t spoken to for awhile because they have overlapping schedules), and then proceeded to say he was confused why I felt that way. Then he said he really liked me and felt disappointed that I concluded all this on my own. He understands I’ve had terrible relationships in the past so it’s hard for me trust, but he was heartbroken I put him in the same category. He then said at the end that he hopes I find the right one for me, and that I didn’t need to reply anymore either.
I feel terrible. I sent him an apology saying he shouldn’t have to explain all that to me, I was being insecure because of a stressful week. And that I should not be messaging when I’m like that, but I seem to say silly things anyway. I said I don’t think he’s like the other guys (far from it), but I understand if he doesn’t want to see or talk to me anymore.
I’m still waiting for a reply. But I feel like I’ve just ruined anything before it’s even begun. My insecurities ruin everything.