Dating a girl who recently had a break up. How often should we go out? How often should we text?

I asked this girl out that I work with. She said yes but wanted to get to know me better before we went out. We texted and talked at work for two and a half weeks before our date.

We both had a great time on the date. It wasn't awkward and we seemed to really hit it off. After I dropped her off at her house she texted me within 15 minutes letting me know how much fun she had.

When I tried texting her, the next day, she took a very long time to reply. This went on for about two weeks. But when we would talk at work there was a lot of flirting. She seems comfortable around me, lots of eye contact, good body language, and nervous actions that girls do when they like a guy. She has even opened up to me about personal things.

I got really confused about what she wanted so I told her how I felt and my confusion. She told me that her boyfriend had broken up with her about two months ago. They were together for three years. She said that she went out with me because she thought it would be a one time thing. But ended up really liking me and got scared. She said that she doesn't want to get hurt again and she doesn't want to hurt me.

I told her I still wanted to see her and she said she still wants to see me but is scared. She said she wants to take it slow.

I read that I need to be careful and should take it very slow and give her her space. Does one date a month and texting once a week sound like a good plan?

I am going to discuss this with her but I just wanted some other opinions before I do that.

My question is how often should we go on dates? How often should we text?

Thank you in advance for any help or suggestions you may have.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Your best bet would be to let her reach out to you and plan dates. That way you get an idea of her preferences and she doesn't feel pressured. Sometimes it's hard, but patience is virtue. If she's truly interested, she'll get in touch with you.

  • Text very often but i think on dates maybe once a week or if that doesn't work then once a month.

  • From experience, I also just came out of a 3 & 1\2 year relationship... I met a great guy, but afraid to get too involved & get hurt. Give her time, but if she seems interested definitely keep in touch. Otherwise, she'll wonder if you're truly interested or playing with her emotions. Maybe text her often, call her once or twice a week. You don't want to come out feeling rejected so give it a few weeks before you ask her out again. As women, we're very emotional creatures, we want to be loved & accepted. If she already shows interest, she'll come around. The question is are you willing to wait. We just want to know that the guy is going to stick around after we start having feelings. If not, let her be.


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