Doubts about a 4 year relationship?

When I was a freshman in college I was hooking up with this junior guy. We were both in band together, and had similar interests. Sophomore year I started dating someone else in the band, and we’ve been dating ever since. I’m now 23 and working on a second degree and I still think about that guy and I wonder what could’ve happened. Right now, I’ve been in my relationship for over 4 years and I feel like the only reason I’m still in it is because I’m comfortable with him and I am close with his family. Other than that, ne does many things that piss me off and I’m just not physically attracted to him anymore. And he also seems to put his friends ahead of me. I guess what I’m asking for is advice? I think about other guys all the time, especially that one guy, and I don’t know if its just “the grass is greener” syndrome or if I’ll actually be better off if I start with a clean slate. I am extremely conflicted, because I am so close with my current SO but I’m not attracted to him, but I’m afraid that I just have the grass is greener syndrome. Has anyone else gone through this before? Thanks.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are not prepared to spend the rest of your life with the current guy, you should tell him and set both of you free to find someone who you actually want to be with and who actually wants to be with you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to get out of that relationship because if you are too comfortable it means you're going to get bored and staying with him because of his family, don't stay and try being friends with the other guy first and just see how he's doing.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't know about your previous relationship. My 4 year relationship ended due to some other reasons than friends. But yes it will be really hard on you and him. He is just too confident that you are not gonna leave him. my god your current guy is gonna devastate. But it's your life you are free to do state your opinions.

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  • I think key is to accept that no one will ever truly satisfy you. I am in similar boat. Beyond that what you do is your responsibility.

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  • Yes. I have gone through that many many times in my life and I think it's normal as some people are just wired to feel stale or stagnant when there's isn't much change that takes place over a period of time. We always think 'what if, or what could've been?' whenever we feel bored and stagnant. Solutions include, but are not limited to: being forthright to the person that annoys/bores you, cheating, swinging, addressing the root cause of feelings and starting anew, or perhaps accepting that you may be polyamorous in nature.

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  • If you're not the close, that's the real problem

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What Girls Said 0

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